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Can't take the feeling of loneliness anymore and don't see the point of living


Lee 182

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I'm 18 years old and for the past six months I have been in agony over losing the only girl I ever loved to her ex-boyfriend. I knew her for ages and never even got to kiss her. I'm alone now. I have no friends, a dysfunctional family that I have never really been close to, I live in a half decorated dump of a house with my stressed out mother who takes out all her problems on me, I'm a virgin, I'm a stone underweight, I have terrible confidence/social problems and I feel lonely, depressed and above all, completely and utterly suicidal.

 

The only reason I haven't already slit my throat is because people keep telling me that things will get better. But they don't. They just get steadily worse. Now I've gone and got myself a broken heart just to add the icing to the cake and I can't take the pain anymore. I'm a pathetic loser that no girl will ever love. My life is just an endless conveyor belt of increasingly bigger problems.

 

So if anyone can give me a reason to live, I'd like to hear it.

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Lee:

 

I will give you a reason your only 18 and have your life ahead of you. I know the feeling, and at the moment it does feel hopeless. Let me emphasize it "feels" hopeless, not a true reflection of reality. I know it hurts now, and people are right it will get better. Please hold on, I'll be praying for you.

 

12 yrs ago my heart got broken and it took me 1 yr and 12 pounds to get over her. Ironically today we got in touch with each other and are talking about getting back together. You never know what happens in life. DONT GIVE UP!!!!

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Your perception of reality is just a little off! Dont worry too much about stuff, and try to be a little easier on yourself. I tend to be hard on myself as well... and all it does is cause anxiety and panic for me in my life. Im learning to keep it in the day and enjoy the life around me.

 

Try praying a little bit. Things will turn out to be ok. Your 18, and just like me, thats when life was the hardest. But keep moving forward and try to just live life, you only have one chance! Stay up kid.

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If she doesn't want to be with you then she's not worth your time... and she's most definitely not worth your life.

 

At that age it's easy to fall in love with people, and have your heart broken to the point where it feels like you'll never feel happy again.. I've been there, but that's not the case at all.

 

The thing is, you can't let other people get you down... getting down on yourself only becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. People are attractive to confidence and people who are comfortable with themselves and their self image, this goes for friends and relationships. If you're unhappy with yourself then other people pick up on that which makes you more unhappy which makes it easier for people to see and it just gets worse and worse... but YOU are ultimately the one in control of that.

 

Physically I think being underweight is a whole lot better than being overweight, I often wish I was a little underweight because there are lots and lots of cool clothes that look good on skinny people that I'd never be able to wear just because of how I'm built.

 

You should consider joining a gym and get a personal trainer who can show you how to put on a little muscle, or take some martial arts classes, or boxing or kick boxing...

 

These things will make you look better, they'll make you feel better about yourself and they will make you a more attractive person both mentally and physically, not only that but they will allow you to meet other people and possibly make some new friends and acquaintances.

 

What do you like to do for fun, do you have any hobbies? Going out to places where people are into the same type of stuff you are is a great way to meet new people too.

 

If you can't afford to go to a gym or join a martial arts class then go get a job, waiting tables is a great job that will get you a little exercise and help you learn to talk to people, then you can make some extra money to join a gym or go do something you love.

 

Go to the library and learn a new skill, or just read books on topics that interest you... Reading is a great way to make yourself well spoken and it can help you better understand other people as well as yourself, which in turn will boost your confidence.

 

These are all things I've done in the past when I had my heart broken. You've got a whole world of things you can do. No matter how you feel, you're young and being young you've got all the time in the world, use it to make yourself better, make yourself smarter, make yourself stronger, make yourself more wealthy, make yourself more confident... all it takes is time and dedication, and unlike putting time and dedication into friends, and relationships, no matter what happens the only person who can ever take away the time and dedication you put into yourself is you.

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I know what it is like to be trapped in a situation where all you can do is bite your tongue and grin and bear it. If you are 18 though, it shouldn't be too long before you can get out of the grips of your parents.

 

As far as the skinniness goes, plently of women are into men with lean builds and plenty also just don't care. But, that is one area where if you don't like it, you can change it.

 

I'd say the stabbing feeling of loniness is the hardest to deal with of everything you listed. There are a few things that help.. find something to entertain yourself. Video games work for me or a hobby or a pet. Go out to a bar or club if you feel like it and just try to socialize. Don't worry about becoming good friends with anybody. Talk to people online even. Sure, it doesn't sound so great.. but trust me, it helps. You could even talk to people on here because you are going to find plenty who have open ears and stories to share.

 

I'd make a promise to yourself to survive no matter what and try HARD to fix your situation for say.. a year. Do whatever it takes. Move out if you have to. Get on medications if that would help (don't be scared of that one!!), find a counselor or person you can talk to in person about all this, do an overhaul on your body. Anything you can manage to do, do it! Good luck and feel free to shoot me a pm

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dude, you are only 18. there will be more girls and women. Think about college, military, clubs, getting laid alot.

 

I would sell my soul to the devil to be your age again and have all the opportuinties. I am 38, divorced twice, and every woman I meet have kids and psycho ex husbands, that they are so afraid of they will not let go for anything better. I have a job I dislike, should be making lots more money but the first ex screwed that up for me. I lost a track scholarship to some major universities, had to stop running track, etc.. my life sucks. I live in an area where my race is not a large percentage of the population, so not many women to date.

 

And dude a chick just screwed up my finances, and I got to move back with my parents for a while and I am 38. doubt i will be able to date someone now.

 

And at my age, I could go on and on about my up life and how it all got wasted. No and it is not always a self fufilling prophecy, sometimes things dont go some people's way, but it does for others.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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