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Does anyone ever just pray???


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Odd question but I wanted to throw it out there. My background, was in a 2 year relationship with someone that ended 2 years ago. Over the 2 year period I had the emotional crap beat out of me. This woman started very early on very subtley, I wasnt this and I wasnt that. Yelling and screaming and raging at me. Nothing i ever did was enough. Told me she was going to go out and find someone to love her for her and that she could have any guy she wanted. Through me up against a wall one night. Ran out of my life in panic mode one night over a perceived slight and into the arms of another guy.

 

Now this girl was taken from her birth mother by her aunt at 2 years old and raised. I suspect some sort of abuse occurred either physical or sexual. Her dad then vanished only to try and reconnect with her 20 years later. When the time came for the rendevous he never showed up. So I feel like she has deep abandonment issues. Hence the neediness, clinginess and constant validation needed. When she left me I was an emotional basketcase. Had a year of counselling and some really good meds. Spent most of that first year alone cause lets face it, Your friends and family only want to hear you crying the blues for a month or two and then expect you to move on. We really do carry it alone. So I prayed nightly those first couple of months just to get through to the next day. Then I started praying to learn how to forgive her because i know what she did to me was just cruel, I believe there to be an underlying reason she did what she did. Lately though Ive been praying that after 2 years out its time to maybe explore the idea of finding domeone else to have some fun with. The problem being, that if I see someone interesting, I usually son't take it any farther than that because I really don't feel I have anything to give inside or that they wouldnt want what I have anyways. I'm sure a woman can sens low self esteem. I used to be the most confident charming charasmatic guy around till this relationship with this woman. Insult to injury she has been trying to contact me over the last 6 months.

 

So I pray to the man upstairs to give me the confidence i know I used to have, to help me to believe in myself, women and relationships again. And to just send me someone sweet and sexy to reaffirm my belief in love. SO far .....naddddda... Does anyone pray and has anyone actually had good things come from praying. I could use something good

 

Sometimes I think this is crazy being two years out and still feeling this way. But I know me and some days i still feel really beaten down. Funny when I was in it I didnt even recognize it was happening to me. This woman I was with was 42, married twice and no friends. I should have seen the signs... Actually I did but ignored them cause when thigs were good they were great. Was just another side to her. A very angry insecure needy person who expected the opther person to fil her bottomless pit. And when that person let her down she raged and criticized and emotionally raped or inevitably jumped ship and went on to the next victim.

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I'm really sorry you've been in such pain for so long.

 

If praying helps you to feel better and get through the day, then I say do it. Personally, I don't see how it does much good, but beliefs differ. I feel much better when I'm helping myself to make sense of things and move forward rather than hoping someone or something else will do it for me.

 

It's good that you've come to see her for what she is. It's not absolutely her fault per se, since you know about her past, but it's definitely not your fault. You were a catch. If she'd been in a better place mentally and emotionally, she could have seen that.

 

Focus on those things that made you great before. They're still there, they've just been pushed down and ignored because you were made to detest the person you were. See if you can't get those parts of you back. Remember why you were so confident before, and keep reminding yourself that just because she couldn't be happy with you doesn't mean that no one can.

 

As for her attempts at communication, I would either not respond (because you clearly have work to do on yourself before you start taking on any other pressures at this point), or keep them short and sweet. Let her know that she has problems that she needs to work through as well. If she reacts poorly, then at least you've done all you can do to try and help her, and you haven't lost anything to boot. If she reacts positively, then perhaps she could get better, and maybe even after both of you work out your own individual issues, a chance might present itself for a reconciliation.

 

Good luck, gary. I truly hope everything works out for you. Two years is a long time to hurt. I hope you find the strength within yourself to finally say "enough is enough."

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praying, meditation all good things for the mind and spirit...absolutely....your 'god' doesn't have to exist in the traditional sense either.

 

i mean I love the psychology of buddhism, but being devoid of a universal architect it don't fully embrace it...instead i do try to follow both christian and buddhist principles and also believe in some 'higher power' to tap into...even if it is some sort of 'universe unfolding as it should' approach.

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i not only prayed but i doused myself in holy water... lmao... !!!!... sick?... yes... nuts?... you bet... did it help?... i have no idea... i guess it did at the time because i felt compelled to do it... whatever, right?...

 

get your groove on man!... what you waitin for?... a bolt of lightening from above?... its not gonna happen unless YOU make it happen... i dont mean get rid of the pain right now... that may stay for a bit, but boy do you see her for what she really was... and this "forgive" the other person crap?... that doesnt work AT ALL... if its not in your heart to forgive her, then dont... i dont forgive my ex one bit... he was an idiot... what i needed to do was forgive myself for being so stupid and not heeding the signs that i knew in my heart were there...

 

ok, so here is my advice... get spiffed up and go out with a twinkle in your eye and at least try... whats so wrong with trying?... whats the worse that can happen... someone will turn you down?... her loss darling... then move on... i mean how many people does a car salesman have to talk to to sell one car?... my guess is alot, especially in these times... so go sell... lol... you sound amazing!...

 

God bless... beebee

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Funny enough, my break-up inspired me to pray again. I found a new connection to religion and that in itself has been very rewarding.

 

And sure, I've prayed that things get better. But mainly, now I just pray for the strength to handle whatever life throws at me. And thus far, I'm still standing. I'm confused about my path in life after everything, sure, but prayer has helped ground me and search within my soul for what I really want. At the end of the day, I can't ask for more.

 

Prayer, religion, is designed to be a guiding force but it doesn't control destiny (or whatever you want to call it). You control your own actions. If prayer helps you find the strength to get back on track (as it does seem to), keep at it. Good things don't always fall from the sky - though you're not alone in wishing they would

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gary,

 

Sorry, for what you went through man. I pray everyday man. We can't expect things to happen instantly and when WE want them to. It doesn't work like that fella.. There is a place and time for everything. Have faith and patience!!! You will get what you desire, but when the time is right. The only thing I encourage you to do is not to give up on your dreams.

 

I have been single for almost 2 years and I've been patient..very patient. Be grateful for what God has given you. You will be blessed.

 

I am blessed to have come out of this break up as a better man. You have no idea the obstacles I have cleared out of my path. Believe in yourself fella! It will come when you least expec it.

 

Keep on doing what you are doing and stay positive!

 

gee

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I'm not a super religious person - but I can tell you that I prayed today - anything to help this go away - today has been tough... I was reaching for any sort of help and this is the best kind when there is no one to talk to and you are alone with your thoughts.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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