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taken, but does she like me?


juanes

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So, I have gotten to know a girl who has a boyfriend, and I feel that we have serious chemistry. We hang out all the time. She will call me, and message me, and hang out with me. We have been out dancing until dawn, and we drink together. We talk together. Her boyfriend lives in another city. Everyone we know thinks that we must be an item, but we haven't really taken our relationship to a physical level, except for some pretty close dancing, that is more than your typical friend. She insists that she is still with her boyfriend, and that we are just friends, which is fine, if that's what she really wants. But, everything that I have ever known about women is that if she's spending this much time with me, she must like me, at least a little. And I really like her.

 

First of all, do you think she is deluding herself? Or am I deluding myself?

 

And secondly, should I go with the flow, as we aren't technically being unfaithful, or should I try to cut down on our time together....

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I'd hate to be her boyfriend.

 

Even if you were to get together with her, how will you feel when she get's her next "friend?"

 

well, I wouldn't be too happy, but on the other hand, she has been more or less faithful, despite the opportunity and temptation to do otherwise...

 

At this point I'm not too worried about any long term implications for us anyway... more just wondering whether I should press her on her "true" feelings.... Maybe she is just using me to feel less lonely/better about herself without having to take any risks with her established relationship.

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Not to be cynical, because I think it's great that you all have such chemistry together. But at the sametime, it really feels like she's on the gate between you two. Meaning, you could very well be just a "here and now" sort of guy while her boyfriend is far away in another city.

 

Plus, you see the way she's treating him now?? That could be you in another couple of years. Rather than be upfront with her boyfriend and telling him how she really feels, she's out drinking and partying with you until late. Is that right? You can go with the flow, but if you're thinking about being serious you might want to consider that.

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