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shes just not that into you, only what you can do for her.


dekkard

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so my gf has expressed to me in great detail about how she wants to have a three some with another woman. so we plan on doing that eventually. but she also expressed interest in a threesome with another guy, but put emphasis on the fact that it wasn't that important to her if it happened or not. in part because i am uncomfortable with the idea. but after a lot of thinking i've come to the conclusion that i would be okay with it, but i would have to establish a rule. only one. i just want to be the only person allowed to actually penetrate her ******. i would be more than happy to get really dirty with her and another guy and cover her with our ******. but she's already told me she doesn't want another man inside of her ****** either. my whole deal is that i don't want to allow any room for accidents, as MY children are going to be the ones that come out of her.

 

i haven't even gotten to the problem yet! lol

 

anyway, she doesn't want to have a threesome with another man (or woman) because she's attracted to them or anything, shes simply in love with the attention. she wouldn't do anything behind my back, and i honestly don't mind having ways to provide her with that extra attention. i am quite secure in myself and i know she loves me, and i love her too. which now brings us to my problem. a few nights ago i had a party and me, my gf, and a friend of mine were sitting on the couch and got to fooling around a little bit. i actually didn't let it go anywhere though, because i was entirely too drunk to have a clear head in the whole situation.

 

i was also really getting off to not letting this guy go as far as he wanted to. i recently found out through my gf that i absolutely love tormenting people when it comes to sex. maybe tormenting is a strong word. i tease her a lot, especially when i eat her out, and she gets off on it really hard. it makes her orgasms a lot better and i just flat out have a lot of fun doing it to her. sadly i don't remember everything from that night, but from what she has told me and the stuff i do remember i was really enjoying denying this guy. we will probably end up doing something again and i'm sure ill let it go farther (and be less drunk at the time lol). ive felt this feeling before... one time we were at a party together and this guy that we both severly disliked was talking to us. he was being very VERY obvious about staring at her cleavage, and i honestly didn't care because i was the one taking her home at the end of the night, and he had to go home alone and jealous of me. its strange, i hate feeling jealousy and rarely ever feel it, but i feel like i love inflicting it opon people. i know thats really messed up. oh well.

 

oh yeah, my problem! so that guy we fooled around with kind of, i think he has a crush on my gf, or is getting the wrong idea. and i understand why. we both we leading him on. but i dont want him to think he could really go any farther than a ****** with my gf, relationship wise at least. she belongs to me and shes not even attracted to him. she likes attention and we're just finding constructive ways to satisfy that need. i guess this guy is just my friend and i don't want his feelings to get hurt, or i don't want him to think my gf reciprocates his feelings. shes not a (well... she's my , lol) and wouldnt break up with me for him or anyone else.

 

so does anyone have a suggestion on what i can say to this guy so he understands that he will never go anywhere with her and that she just likes the sexual attention and doing that stuff with me? i know its a hard question to answer and some people are just going to be flat out judgmental about the whole situation. i don't really care, lol.

 

EDIT: sorry i didn't know there was a langauge restriction here! i'll edit this post so it doesn't get deleted like my other one...

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no she is not pushing for it at all. she brought it up a few times and i spent a lot of time thinking about it and finally came to the conclusion that i would be fine with it. now a threesome with another woman on the other hand... she does push for that one.

 

also, if a guy got mad because she and i won't allow him to have his ***** inside of her, id just throw him out for not appreciating getting any to begin with. she's into have someone watching. i dont mind letting someone touch her and stuff. if a guy cant be happy with what hes getting he can go out and find one of the 3 billion other women on this earth who might put out for him in the way he wants. as it stands, this one belongs to me.

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You guys like flirting with trouble, and one day if you continue on you will find it.

 

This sort of game will attract just the sort of people in the first place who aren't going to easily take a "no" all that reasonably, or not try to push it. Push it for their own fun or because they have the idea that your no actually means yes.

 

I don't think there is anything you can say to this guy to get him to understand, or for that matter - care - , what your feelings are on this situation and your intentions. You have shown him what is what, just don't involve him in your games anymore. Be a strong bf-gf team in front of him, that's it.

 

If you do this crap enough, someone will push that line or retaliate for being made part of a game where they are the one who losses. At the very least, you'd think you'd want to keep your friends out of it.

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Threesomes are unethical and detrimental in a relationship NO MATTER which angle you want to look at it. Makes me extremely sick actually...

 

well, it may be in your opinion. however you shouldn't be so quick to judge other people. or, you should realize that different people get into different things and not everyone is going to like/dislike the same things that you do. having a dramatic reaction to something like that, like becoming extremely ill over the thought of a threesome, or thinking that it's unethical, makes you unable to coexist along your fellow peoples. you are not being asked to take part or enjoy these things, and seeing as it has no direct impact on you you shouldn't have a problem with it.

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You both sound like you're pretty open about your sexuality, which is a good thing. I would think very hard about the threesome, though. There are a few ways that it could go badly, so you should be careful. In my opinion, if the sex is good without the needed spark of a threesome, then I'd stick with that and not try something that potentially could be risky for your relationship.

 

On the other hand, if you've thought about it and you both really understand the situation and agree that you both want it anyway, then best of luck to you. It sounds like you're being pretty honest and mature with your significant other about the situation, so that's a good start at least.

 

I would strongly recommend that you talk to the 3rd person before having him join you. Let him know the rules and what he should expect. And certainly don't do it drunk where he could potentially be out of control. Try to find someone you know so that they don't do something crazy but probably not someone you know too well so it doesn't make a friendship awkward. I guess it's a tough balance. But, yeah, even though it may sacrifice some of the excitement and spontaneity of the event, I'd certainly talk openly with the other guy (or girl) ahead of time.

 

Good luck, hope things go well.

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