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what does he actually want?


DontMindMe
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really need a male perspective of this...

 

i asked out a guy (W) and he said that he wanted to go out with me when some things had cooled down between me and this other guy.

 

things are now cooled down and it's been 5 months later (things took a long time to cool down) over the 5 months me and W have become much closer, we text each over every day and he'll always start the convo. we see each over twice a week at an organisation were we met, although we don't get much chance to talk to eachover there as we're always rushing off in different directions. we don't meet outside of that though.

 

lately we've been texting even more and he is being alot more flirty, he said he wanted to kiss me and the get me exited ( lil crude i know) we have conversations about what we would do to eachover if he was lying next to me, then he'll ask me what i'm wearing and the convo will go on until one of us falls asleep. He'll call me hun and Babe and we get along well. (recent news) he just said that i can tell him anything.

 

i've asked him twice whever the relationship will actually go anywere and i've told him that i really want to hurry things up a bit, but both times he has not replied and forgets about it. so what's going on, he seems interested but is he? i have no idea what he wants. he's recently changed his relationship status to seeing someone, so i'm even more confused i got someone he trusted to ask him if he has a girlfriend and he said no. i really don't get it. please help

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Time to tell him that you want to go out with him properly. If he does too then he needs to do so now. If not you need him to tell you so you can stop wasting your time.

 

If he won't give a clear answer - then move on.

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sounds like he likes the 'sexual' talk with you and could share some sort of connection but just not enough to pursue it more.

 

i see what you mean, but we do talk more than that we run an induction course together and we talk outside of texting which is normally less 'sexual' bt i am woundering whever it's worth the hassle or not.

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Time to tell him that you want to go out with him properly. If he does too then he needs to do so now. If not you need him to tell you so you can stop wasting your time.

 

If he won't give a clear answer - then move on.

 

well he's driving me to an RAF base this weekend (got my L98 training yay) so i'll have time to have a face to face talk so i can see his reaction

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i see what you mean' date=' but we do talk more than that we run an induction course together and we talk outside of texting which is normally less 'sexual' bt i am woundering whever it's worth the hassle or not.[/quote']

 

just saying he doesn't make extra effort though outside of the common place you interact.

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yer he is starting to get on my last nerve, yesterday i was talking to a corporal telling them that they were wrong in what they were doing (which they were, it wasn't just me being funny about it ) and he came and defended the corporal even though he knows i hate the guy and that he has been spreading stuff about me etc then W told me not to get in an effy over it, talking to him last night as normal though he's getting alot more sexual and i'm woundering if that's all he wants. I still really like him and am attracted to him but i'm not happy being stuck in a text relationship with him, my friends are all confused why i just don't go out with him and i am too. also how would you describe my relationship with him? just friends, seeing eachover... i don't know what the relationship between us is.

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This would be the opportune moment.

 

 

hopefully, i think plans may change as an officer has offered to drive us both there so it would be difficult to talk then, but i might see him early and around lyneham as he's helping with a course there at the same time as i'm doing my training so i might see him here and there.

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most of the time yes as he has no instant messenger' date=' but we do talk outside and i walk home with him, but it's only those 6 hours a week that we see eachover . part from that it's all texting.[/quote']

 

he needs to be asking you out.

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*sighs* i wish he would' date=' and he seems interested so i cant see why he isn't.[/quote']

 

give him more signals. maybe ask more about his personal life and his dating situation. but do it nonchalantly.

 

'the girls must be beating down your door since your single and good looking.'

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give him more signals. maybe ask more about his personal life and his dating situation. but do it nonchalantly.

 

'the girls must be beating down your door since your single and good looking.'

 

wow, well it's cheesy but i might just use it thanks. i know he's single though well that's what he's said to me and everyone else who's asked.

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A little more information here: i was in this room cleaning out the stores and he was outside with this guy he knows i hate. it was that kind of distance that i can hear him from and i start tuning into their conversation. so the guy i hate said "hows your girlfriend mate," he replied " yeah she's fine thanks," i'm a little shocked at this point and calling him all sorts under my breath so that he wouldn't hear me, i was in rage and tried so much not to go and lash out at him i mean what a man * * * * * he had been asking me the other night to do inapropriate sexual stuff to him and now i hear he has a girlfriend not to mention he had been leading me on for 5 months i felt a little used and ashamed at that point.

 

so any way i had a go at him telling him 'i couldn't believe him!' he said he didn't have a girlfriend which i thought he'd say so i wasn't buying any of it. he then went to explain that i was all set up and that the guy i hate texted him telling him to tell me he had a girlfriend to play a 'joke' on me, apparently he said no that it would be propper tight on me, so instead the guy i hate and his mate spread round that he had a gf so that i would hear. i actually believed this it seemed as though it would be something he would do, so i told him i believed him and that he shouldn't have gone with it etc.

 

i'm getting sick and tired of trying to go out with this guy, it's exausting and probably not worth it i sent him a text last night saying: i'm getting bored of this, i'm not sure if this matters any more but you know i like you and i'm getting tired of saying it. if you want to do something then make your mind up and do it but don't expect me to wait around

 

i'm worried about what he'll say to that, and wever he'll just ignore it and pretend i never said it to begin with. he didn't drive me to lyneham in the end and opted out so i never got that talk i wanted i overheard him saying i don't want to piss her off before lyneham, i think he was talking about me and the whole gf joke but i'm not sure.

 

i'm really confused by his motives and would really like some advice thank you

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