Ariel85 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Why do ppl have such a negative view of pot smokers? Not all of them are dumb or losers. I know ppl who make straight As and go to work everyday. Oh well, to each their own I guess. I never said they were dumb or losers, but doing drugs is not a safe or smart thing because: 1 - you can get busted buying it, or using it 2 - you can buy some stuff that is laced with something else 3 - it does make you stupid while you're on it - memory issues, can't focus on a conversation, zoning out, etc. 4 - risks to your health As a kid, you are expected to make foolish or risky choices, as the repercussions tend to be less when you're young. But, a grown-up shouldn't need to "experiment" or, use some type of enhancement to have a good time, nor should you need to "escape". I mean, we all ate beefaroni as kids, but you don't eat it in your 30's, you know? You grow out of stuff, including social drug use. Link to comment
NewPhillyGuy Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 I do not hold the past against people. If they've smoked or done other drugs in the past, I am OK with that. The past is the past. One thing I will not do is try to change someone. I don't want to waste my time or encounter that frustration. Plus, it's not fair to the other person. They have the right to do whatever they want. People can only change themselves. So, what I am saying is that I will not try to control her. She can do what she wants, but I don't want to be involved with someone who does drugs. I do not see people who smoke pot so negatively. I have friends that do it, and I still talk and hang out with them. Relationships are different for me though. I feel as though people in a relationship need to have the same values in order for them to be truly compatible in the long run. If she told me she's still doing it today, I would still remain with her if she promised me that she would stop. She told me over this past weekend that she wants us to become serious - meeting the parents and all of that, which I was OK with, but then started to have some doubts when the pot thing came up. I plan on talking to her about it today, and yes, I am afraid that she will come back and say - I am ok with it and I'm not giving it up for you. In that case, I will have to let her go. That's the part of the conversation that I dread, but if it comes to that, I will have to do it. I'm trying to think of a way to put this to her which does not put her on the defensive, but I know it will hard to spin it that way. Link to comment
waveseer Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I don't have any fundamental problem with people who drink or smoke up, however, after a few tries I have concluded that these habits do affect people more often than not. The affects are: 1. What I consider to be a distorted view of themselves, the world around them, and life in general. 2. An inability to form well-rounded relations with others which include all aspects of being (spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional). 3. Odd or unpredictable behavior. 4. A propensity for offloading personal responsibility in some (or all) areas. 5. An inability to mature in one or more areas. I have concluded that to pursue any type of relationship with someone who's lifestyle is complicated with mind-altering substances is fruitless and can be detrimental to my health and well-being. Link to comment
Mutley Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 and i know a guy who quit a great Civil Service job because he refused to take the drug test because he couldn't pass....they offered to pay for his rehab....he refused. Now he is barely making it. Well, people have their priorities. You gotta fight for your right to party. Link to comment
guitargirl1607308056 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I will add, I think it's kind of an age thing. We all smoked pot and recreationally used drugs back in high school, college, and for a bit into our 20's - it wasn't a big deal, and wasn't impactful to our lives. You grow out of it, though, and I can't imagine dating a 35 or 40 year old guy who still smoked or did blow. I agree, I think it definitely becomes a question of judgment when a certain age is reached. If a person is unable to make a sound decision on the use of drugs (especially given everything we know about drugs these days) how will they make sound decisions within a relationship? Consideration would play a part in there, too. You have to love yourself 1st. So if you can't treat yourself right (drugs, alcohol abuse), I question a person's ability to treat anyone else right. Just my two cents. OP, you'll really need to talk to her. Based on what she tells you, you'll then have to decide what you're willing to put up with and how much you're willing to bend, if at all. But I'll caution you to make sure that you don't go along with anything that makes you uncomfortable. It would be deterimental to you given your past experiences and it would be unfair for you to appear to be accepting of her, but then do a 180 when you realize it's more than you're willing to deal with. Best of luck. Let us know how it all turns out. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Well, people have their priorities. You gotta fight for your right to party. Sid Vicious and Nancy-A Love Story..... 'nuff said Link to comment
Mutley Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Sid Viscious and Nancy-A Love Story..... 'nuff said Drug use is sexy, ain't it? Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Why do ppl have such a negative view of pot smokers? Not all of them are dumb or losers. I know ppl who make straight As and go to work everyday. Oh well, to each their own I guess. I know huh... you gotta go to the right place in the country... were i grew up 80% of the parents smoked pot, and half of that actually smoked with thier kids after the were adults... my friends smoked some pot with his parents this weeeknd.. he is 28... and these parents arent what you see on COPS... but succesfull lawyers, bankers, etc...great people and memeber of the community.... like i said i think alcohol and even ciggirates are worse then pot... ariel85... you would be suprised how many high memebers of society smoke pot... lot of people find it less damging then bozzing all the time.... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Moderation. I have twice a year ago with two good friends. And, I really wouldn't want a boyfriend who did anything much more than that. As for my feelings about pot in general, I've seen too many friends get wrapped up in it. My best friend from high school and I have so little in common now. All her and her boyfriend do is smoke. It's gotten to the point where they seem high even when they are sober. It, like alcohol, can definitely change a person for the worst. Sometimes is okay. But, regular is just awful, in my opinion. Same with booze. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I never said they were dumb or losers, but doing drugs is not a safe or smart thing because: 1 - you can get busted buying it, or using it 2 - you can buy some stuff that is laced with something else 3 - it does make you stupid while you're on it - memory issues, can't focus on a conversation, zoning out, etc. 4 - risks to your health As a kid, you are expected to make foolish or risky choices, as the repercussions tend to be less when you're young. But, a grown-up shouldn't need to "experiment" or, use some type of enhancement to have a good time, nor should you need to "escape". I mean, we all ate beefaroni as kids, but you don't eat it in your 30's, you know? You grow out of stuff, including social drug use. I love beefaroni. LOL I rarely ever heard of pot being laced, and Ive been smoking for 13 yrs. I guess it helps me feel better so thats why I do it. I have friends that dont even know and I barely tell guys I date unless it gets serious or I just dont like them. lol I make straight As, I go to work everyday, FT and PT job. I take care of myself and pay my own bills. Im more successful than most of my friends and they are sober. I have a great set of friends, I dont have odd behavior (unless Im in a relationship), Im independent (take care of my own responsibilities). The rest of the things waveseers said, can be personality defects of anyone, sober or not. I guess it doenst effect my life like that. I am very professional and speak well. Well, actually, when I do it too much I have speech probs (motor skills). I can work thru that tho. I carry myself with intelligence and class, most ppl are shocked I even smoke cigs. So its not always a cookie cutter situation. I dont see it as a bad thing at a certain age. If it wasnt for pot, I prob wouldnt be here right. I can understand why certain ppl feel so strongly against it but its not like its crack. It comes from the earth, no additives or anything. Even some people use it in religious practices. I dont find it harmful at all. (Well, so much for using the third person. lol ) Link to comment
rocio Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 What if she agrees to smoke only on rare occasion, and never around you? Link to comment
waveseer Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Since I was speaking from experience and we've never dated, there was plenty of room left for my opinion to not apply to you. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Since I was speaking from experience and we've never dated, there was plenty of room left for my opinion to not apply to you. You made a general statement and I was just rebutting that statement, speaking from my own experience. Link to comment
skyblue1 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I don't like drugs. It puts me off the men who take them Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 ariel85... you would be suprised how many high memebers of society smoke pot... lot of people find it less damging then bozzing all the time.... I never once said I didn't think high society smoked, nor did I make any comment on pots relation to alcohol. I still think it's a poor choice, and for me, I prefer to surround myself with people who can handle a sober life. lol Link to comment
Mutley Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I prefer to surround myself with people who can handle a sober life. lol Me too and there's nothing wrong with it!! Live and let live works both ways. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 as long as they share. haha pffft, forget drugs. i catch you, you gone. but we can get our drinks on. Link to comment
guitargirl1607308056 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 as long as they share. haha pffft, forget drugs. i catch you, you gone. but we can get our drinks on. Bahahaha, amen! Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I never once said I didn't think high society smoked, nor did I make any comment on pots relation to alcohol. I still think it's a poor choice, and for me, I prefer to surround myself with people who can handle a sober life. lol I didnt say you did... just making a point that not only people you see on COPS smoke weed... i prefer to live a clean life too.. and makes me much more of a top dog at my work... any clouded judgement can cost me $$$$$... but once in a while i do partake in smoking grass.. just to relax.. it just suprises me how you can drink all you want and smoke cigrates, but when you mentined weed everyine is like woooo, when cigirates and drinking just as bad IMO.... but people dont frown on that...... Link to comment
Imprecision Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 It's a different culture. Here in Vancouver, I don't know anyone who doesn't smoke weed. Even my professors smoke weed. I know because I've smoked with them. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I didnt say you did... just making a point that not only people you see on COPS smoke weed... i prefer to live a clean life too.. and makes me much more of a top dog at my work... any clouded judgement can cost me $$$$$... but once in a while i do partake in smoking grass.. just to relax.. it just suprises me how you can drink all you want and smoke cigrates, but when you mentined weed everyine is like woooo, when cigirates and drinking just as bad IMO.... but people dont frown on that...... actually a J is like 10 cigs. but you said IMO so.... lol Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 actually a J is like 10 cigs. but you said IMO so.... lol No way dude... cigs have so many chemicals in it.... weed is natural.. the biggest neg is the THC.. which has a few side effects... Link to comment
Qut81 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 No way dude... cigs have so many chemicals in it.... weed is natural.. the biggest neg is the THC.. which has a few side effects... The 10 cigs a day is for ppl that use "blunts" (the outer paper of a cigar). If someone smokes it in other ways, its actually healthier than cigs. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 No way dude... cigs have so many chemicals in it.... weed is natural.. the biggest neg is the THC.. which has a few side effects... standing over a bonfire is good for you too. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 so you are agreeing that mj has more tar correct? that's what it says and everyone agrees. ever look at a bong's bowl or a pipe after smoking a small fraction of weed? yeah man. like i said, hover over a camp fire and see how long you last. i know cigs have a bunch of chemicals, but still. i'm all for legalization though. so much money to get from it for this country. Link to comment
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