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Depression how to help?


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How do you get some one who has self esteem issues, hence drinking issues, depression to activley seek help, without pushing them to much and looking over bearing?

Ex well lc kind of very good friends who also still sleep together now and then, is finally admiting her issues more up front than ever before. Saying how she has found best thing ever in me, but cant see why i love her when she doesnt love herself. Also that she hates every thing about her life and wishes she could get out of feeling how she is, but has kind of given up to fact that she will always feel that way.

Ive suggested counceiling , but she cant see how sumone who hasnt lived her life can help her or know what she is going through in any way.

I seem to be getting more out of her with this lc, but dont want to become friend zoned.

She acts really strange at times as in we are only friends , but you are the only person i would ever be with, and then randomly talks of if we ever got married.

Any help would be great. One example txt below that she sent last night after saying im her best friend and thanks for being there babe etc. To which i replied ur special and dont ever think any diffrent.

Txt " Thanks know u mean it but so wish i wasnt me in any way at all. And wish so much to feel rightlike most people and have what they have, but just cant see that happening. Just so sick of feeling up and down"

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People have to really want to change, nothing you say can make them want that. Most have to hit rock bottom.

 

I had a friend who was a depressed alcoholic who went to counseling for one session and hated it, but he eventually went to AA and has been going for two years now. He likes it because other people are going through what he is going through and he can relate. He couldn't relate to the counselor.

 

I always suggested that he needed help, that nobody can do it alone. I would bring it up pretty regularly but not too often - usually when he did something really stupid and would be more open to seeing that he needed help. But in all actuality he had to hit rock bottom before he would do anything - it didn't matter what I had to say.

 

It's a tough relationship to be in, please look out for yourself. Don't let her problems consume you.

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Yeah i let her bring it up herself then try to push a bit but not to hard, ive been there myself with depression in past so know a bit about it. Its hard because she almost get`s there then when she is about an inch away from being happy she shuts it off. I told her last night that she has to want to do it herself, and that even though her ex`s may have put her where she is today it`s not them keeping her there.

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I write this for you, not her....

 

I think you're missing the fact that she is using YOU as her counsellor. She is sharing all her depressed thoughts and bad feeling with you.

 

If you want to help her (and some might not agree) then tell her that you don't want to hear it anymore, you are not her counsellor and her probems are making you depressed as well.

 

Your conversations seem to be riding high on negative emotions which it not good for either of you, no wonder you are feeling down. It is exhausting supporting a depressed person.

 

Making excuses about someone else not walking in her shoes is just that, an excuse. Counsellors are professionals who have had extensive training over many years (or should be) and cannot have possibly walked in everyone shoes and even if they did, its highly unlikely that they would share the very same experiences or share that information with thier client.

 

If she just wants someone to talk to who is the same as her, then she needs to find a support group and not use you as a crutch because you are not very careful you WILL be friendzoned because of too much water under the bridge.

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Speaking as someone who is suffering from depression. Of course these conversations are negative, this girl has self esteem issues, depression. She obviously feels comfortable talking about this to him. Believe me it is good to talk, a lot of people dont talk over their problems, a lot of suicides come from depression.

This is just my opinion, be there for her, dont dismiss her because she has depression.

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Speaking as someone who is suffering from depression. Of course these conversations are negative, this girl has self esteem issues, depression. She obviously feels comfortable talking about this to him. Believe me it is good to talk, a lot of people dont talk over their problems, a lot of suicides come from depression.

This is just my opinion, be there for her, dont dismiss her because she has depression.

 

I suffer from bouts of depression too, and have posted in the suicide forum on many occassions. But this is something else. This girl is ' living the drama' at the OP's expense and it has gone on for quite some time as you will see if you read the OP's other posts. He sounds weary and is trying his best to hold her up while she is holding on to him and dragging him down.

 

Yes, its good to talk but when you're doing it at the expense of someone else, however much they are willing and want to help, then enough is enough and you need to seek help.

 

Love isnt everything, sometimes you got to look out for yourself and the OP definitely needs to look out for himself, because she certainly isn't.

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Speaking as someone who is suffering from depression. Of course these conversations are negative, this girl has self esteem issues, depression. She obviously feels comfortable talking about this to him. Believe me it is good to talk, a lot of people dont talk over their problems, a lot of suicides come from depression.

This is just my opinion, be there for her, dont dismiss her because she has depression.

 

Hi i would never dismiss her because of her depression, but i just dont know how to get through to her. She is finally opening up to her problems and addmiting them but cant find it in her to sort them out, saying more or less they are to deep rooted. She would rather put up walls and a tough front , whilst she will admit she isnt tough at all inside.

i think the world of her and her also of me but im going to have to try to distance myself a bit , because its like banging my head against a wall sometimes.

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Hi i would never dismiss her because of her depression, but i just dont know how to get through to her. She is finally opening up to her problems and addmiting them but cant find it in her to sort them out, saying more or less they are to deep rooted. She would rather put up walls and a tough front , whilst she will admit she isnt tough at all inside.

i think the world of her and her also of me but im going to have to try to distance myself a bit , because its like banging my head against a wall sometimes.

 

It must be very difficult for you. With depression you dont think rationally, there is a feeling of worthlessness. It will click with her someday though, she has taken a very big step in admitting that she has issues and problems. Suggest that she goes to see a councilor, if you are willing you could go with her for her first session, though not go in with her.

 

This is letting her know that you will support her anyway you can. She is very lucky to have you!

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