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A couple questions


littleHorse

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How long should a woman wait until asking a guy if he's dating anyone else? How long should you make a guy wait until you sleep with him?

 

The idea of waiting to sleep with somone should be about waiting until you are ready to sleep with someone. It is not about making someone wait just to make them wait...it is about making sure you are comfortable with the decision to have sex and are prepared for the responsibilities and the emotions that go along with it. The talk about whether or not a person is dating someone else is not a definitive talk. Many people get fooled into thinking they are in an official relationship when they are told the other person is not dating anyone else. However, not dating anyone else doesn't mean the person is not looking for someone else. Unless the person specifically states that you two are now a couple, don't assume you are official just because he is not currently dating anyone else. As for sleeping with someone, I think it is best to wait until an official relationship is established.

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I was just asking, because sometimes i need a little reassurance that i am doing the right. I have had about three dates with this guy and been talking and texting eachother inbetween dates for the last two weeks. since we haven't become official I dont plan on sleeping with, I just wanted to know how long before you can ask "are we officially in a relationship". I want to be in a relationship with this guy, but i dont want to waste time with someone who isnt interested in creating an official relationship, so is it okay for me to ask or should i leave that responsibity up to him.

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It is way too soon to ask. I would bet that he will put the moves on you for sex long before he decides if he wants to be in a relationship with you...and that is when you will have to stand firm. That is when you can tell him that you are not interested in sleeping with a man unless it is in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Then leave it at that and see what happens. However, 3 dates is just too soon to know whether or not you two are compatible enough for a committed relationship. So just wait and see what happens.

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okay so on the third date he put the moves on me and wanted to sleep with me and i said no, i didnt give any explanation of why, i just said no and he was cool with that. so on the fourth date if he put the moves on me again, would it be okay to tell him that im waitng until we are official.

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okay so on the third date he put the moves on me and wanted to sleep with me and i said no, i didnt give any explanation of why, i just said no and he was cool with that. so on the fourth date if he put the moves on me again, would it be okay to tell him that im waitng until we are official.

 

i think you should have just told him that you like him, but don't feel comfortable having sex with a man unless you two are exclusive and he is your boyfriend. i think that's reasonable and you've outlined your boundaries, and then he can choose if he is ok with being casual, but no sex with you, or if he wants to take the next step in the relationship.

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i think you should have just told him that you like him, but don't feel comfortable having sex with a man unless you two are exclusive and he is your boyfriend. i think that's reasonable and you've outlined your boundaries, and then he can choose if he is ok with being casual, but no sex with you, or if he wants to take the next step in the relationship.

 

Yes, I agree with this.

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