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Is he gay/bi and likes me?


jimmyvanbeck
If He Likes You He'll Do This -...
If He Likes You He'll Do This - Harsh Truth

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I'm going to try this one more time...

 

i need help. I’m not gay, but bi, and only one person knows.

Currently 3 people are on my mind, one guy.

 

So here it goes. I can read people pretty well, i am quite an intelligent person, but reading whether a person is gay, or bi is very difficult at times, because they hide, and if they are attracted to you (in general).

 

This guy, i have 2 classes w/him (this is high school), always calls my name during class, I’d say about 5 times, reliably, in the first class i have with him in which he sits kinda far away. When he calls me he will always make faces, and i will laugh sometimes and smile. In the next class, i’m next to him. I’ve once sat away from him to accompany another friend in the 2nd class, and he told me to come back, but i refused and told him to sit next to me, which he did after quickly contemplating. I don’t think he’s ever had a girlfriend, but he said he likes someone (female of course). We always talk and joke, and it seems like i’m one of his closest friends, though i’ve hardly known him for about a simester. He randomly texts me “what’s up?” at times. He touches me at times, and even when i try to work and pay attention, and tell him those are my intentions, he still tries to get my attention. He will ask me what music i like, and tell me what he likes, and when i sit away from him he always tells me to come back and sit next to him. He’s said “i love you so-and-so” a few times and “i hate you” in the way in which he’s anticipating a “u know i love you” from me, and one time a friend brought up my last girlfriend, and i said “i do miss her, she was beautiful” i looked at him right after, he wore a soft weak smile, and i’m pretty sure i saw depression behind it (his eyes were looking down is one reason). He tries to convince me sometimes that he’s a good person, which he is, but i always deny it because his hobby, (nothing bad like smoking, drinking or anything serious, he hates beer or any kind of alcohol or drug), but i’m really just joking. In our class there is a guy who is gay, obviously, idk if he’s open with it though, and not really any guys talk to him just this guy and one other, which i think would be because he is gay. In class presentations in which we ask questions, for some reason he will always see my hand come up rather than others’, and will call on me. I’ve looked straight into his eyes, and he kept looking, but i looked away, and when i turn around to see the time, he is always looking at me (in both classes), and smiles at me a lot, but also in general. If he sees me after class he always calls me. One time i was mad at him, and he also was mad at me (i told him he’s not my friend, but i wasn’t all that serious but he was more mad about the fact that when he opened his arms for a hug cuz he knew i was mad, i refused and kept walking), and we gave each other the silent treatment, i was sure he’d break first, but i did, and this makes me think maybe he likes me because he acts the same. Three more things. One, he once pinched my but and i got scared, and was like “whoa!! dang you scared me man” haha, two, when he walks his hips swing, haha, just a stereotype, and three, one time in class we were talking about secret lovers (i don't know why), and he said "i have a secret lover, it's you so-so" playin' around, butt it didn't seem very sarcastic, or jokish.

 

Anyway, I think he thinks the same way of me but is not sure enough of what i think so hides by saying he likes a girl. He doesn’t talk like he’s gay, but a lot don’t. I like him a lot, but if it doesn’t work, i don’t really care, it’s just high school. Bad relationships don’t hurt me too much, but he IS on my mind like 70% of the time. It’s hard to give you all the details correctly online, but i think i did pretty good, and tried not to be biased. Sorry this was long, but anyone please help

 

i posted this already, but got no help so....

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this is the same standard post on this forum

 

ive posted a similar problem before, that still remains on-going, difference is its just one person

 

but the thing is, the reason people post here, is to try and compare and analyse behaviour patterns and relate them to their own situations to convince themselves moreso that the one they have a crush on could actually be gay

 

ive realised, after doing this myself for a good few months - that this is not a solution

 

at the end of the day every single human being is different and no trends or behaviour can prove anything about anyone - and you seem to be going by stereotype behaviour that confines some people who do not want that stigma attached to them - sometimes the "straight" people can actually be gay, and the "camp" guys completely straight

 

first of all you need to work out is there someone in your life you feel strongly enough about, not just a selection of 3 people - then the only way you are going to make it work is by making a move, do yourself a favour - dont spend weeks or months drawing up behavioural conclusions

 

if there is a guy you like that much, youre just going to have to make the sacrifice - otherwise it will just end up with you becoming tired of chasing circles

the problem is sometimes people can also just deny what they really feel, maybe due to other pressures , ultimately its tricky to crush on someone when you arent sure about their sexuality

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I'm sorry that you felt that you needed to repost your thread on this forum, but the fact of the matter is that this is a VERY common question, as you may have noticed. And the reality is, none of us can really help you, because it is virtually impossible to tell if someone is gay unless they themselves tell you. Also, the GLBT forum has been quite inactive recently, so an immediate response cannot be guaranteed.

 

The best advice i can give you is to tell the boy that you like that you are gay/bi. Or simply ask him if he is. Its really the only solution to your problem. But from your description it does seem that there is some sort of attraction between you, but i can't be sure.

 

I really wish i could give better advice

i hope everything works out for you

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