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Sorry for long post!

 

I dated this girl(call her Lisa) for about 5 months and she broke up with me saying she justs wants to be just friends. I was devastated. But I then get a text about a month after asking if she could see me and I said sure. We met at a bar and we talked and had a good time. She asked me if I was dating anybody and I said, yes, but I'm going to break up with her tomorrow.(call her Jen). I told Lisa that Jen said she wants to marry me after just 5 dates so it's going to be tough to break it to her. Lisa said she hasn't been on a few first dates but she not dating anybody currently so I got excited about that.

 

I waited a couple of days and then I sent Lisa a text saying how's it going? She replied back saying good...how was the break up? I told her it went horrible and she replies back so did you ask her to marry you(jokingly). I said nope and then she replies so there's a chance for the rest of us ladies? I got excited about that because it's sounding like she wants to date again but I wasn't going to push it.

 

I then get a text from her a few days later saying" what's up gorgeous"? Again I'm thinking she wants to get back together so on Sunday I ask her if she wants to get together. She doesn't reply back until the next night saying sure. She comes over to my house and we have a good time but we didn't have sex. She said we had sex too early on and now seems pressured to have sex every time we see each other....I said I was fine with that.

 

I waited a couple of days and asked her to go to the baseball game this weekend(she's a big baseball fan). She asked if she could get back to me by the end of the day and said sure. Well I didn't hear anything until the next day. I got upset that it takes her that long to get back to me because that is how she started to break up with me last time so I sent her a text saying I'm giving up on her. She replies instantly sounding upset and that we had such a good time together the other night. We talked on the phone and she apologized and she asked if we could do something during the day instead of going the game because of family stuff...I said ok. I picked her up and we went and had lunch..it was fun. The following Tues I left a voice mail asking if she wants to go to the game on Wed of Thur. She didn't reply back until the next night texting she just got my voice mail and said she had plans for Thur but then asked what am I doing this weekend. I thought great, she wants to go out. I replied back the next day(Thur)I'm pretty open so do you want to something? Well that was Thur and it's Sunday now and I haven't heard anything! So it looks like she's backing off again and I feel horrible!

 

I guess I have a theory of what happened. She really was dating another guy but still had feelings for me so she wanted to see me again. Maybe the reason why she didn't want to have sex with me. I think she realizes that she likes the other guy more so she getting rid of me. It sucks that I'm so crazy about this girl!

 

Another theory is that she likes a challenge. She broke up with the first time but then wanted me back. Then when she started to get distant again I said I'm giving up on us and then she got upset. Now when I took it back she becomes distant again. If I'm right about this how can you have a relationship with anybody like this if you can't get close?

 

Any thoughts about my two theories or what happened? Do you think I will hearr from her again?

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It is quite possible you were her backup plan and that she was more interested in someone else....or....she likes to get her ego stroked by having a guy pursue her so she can then mess him about. Either way this woman is flakey and not a good bet for a relationship. When someone really wants to be with you they will not blow you off and blow hot and cold. Forget this woman. I also have to wonder about the kind of women you are choosing. Did this other woman really say she wanted to marry you after 5 dates! That is just plain weird.

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do you really wanna keep laying this game of backing off and letting her come to u.. then pursuing her and her running away?? relationships like that NEVER workout and just causes you too much heartache..

 

my suggestion is to really pull back.. and dont initiate contact with her.. let her initiate with u..

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Thanks for your replies. Yeah the other talked about marriage after 5 dates I thought it was weird too.

 

I just thought she would be different this time. If I knew somebody was in love with me I know I wouldn't keep doing this to them. I guess I just didn't think she would be that cruel a third time. No, I don't want to keep playing this game but it's like I'm stuck on her.

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I am in the same situation (a little different). My ex blows hot and cold. The only times he wants me back is when he feels he is loosing me. Its gross. I am in day 1 NC. I don't expect him to message me and I promised myself I would take back my self respect and dignity and not play his games. Am I stuck on him? Hell yes. I think of him every second. I want to be with him so bad. You just have to think of all the stuff they arre doing to you, and realize that if you don't start making changes that this game with continue for weeks and you will be no further ahead. Start NC and see what happens!

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