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What is wrong with this world?


Leon
Just Calm and Enjoy Daily Life
Just Calm and Enjoy Daily Life

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Man, I had a loong convo with some of my close buds and it just got me a little frustrated. I just started thinking about the current situation that the world is in and how people treat each other. To put it bluntly, I think people have just went completely nuts.

 

I think about all of the horribly screwed up relationships I've been in, how I tried to stand for justice and morals and was labeled the bad guy by the women. Even in the dating scene I see how screwed up relationships are, how much sex is promoted and put on a pedestal. Now, the goal is SEX, SEX, SEX, I'm damn tired of that every time I talk about relationships anywhere! On a forum, with my friends, with random freaks when I'm out and about.

 

I don't mainly think about sex when I think about relationships, I think about meeting someone that can help me grow and develop as a HUMAN BEING, to be able to go through the trails of life while supporting and being supported, resolving the conflicts of our flawed existence and creating children and forming a common goal in raising them.

 

I feel that people simply don't have any respect for their humanity anymore. It really is pathetic to me. To hear so many women tell men their standards when they can all be erased with a simple trick of the mind. Why is it that the most effective way to form a relationship with a female is to manipulate their minds? Why must I resort to some tactic that makes me feel like some dark horny sorcery from a lame fantasy fiction prono? To watch girls fall for such cheesy dopey lines, no matter how smooth they may come off as being... To have men tell me these things like I'm a moron if I don't down and digest these tactics.

 

I just don't know what's going on anymore. It's like I just woke up one day and my generation decides to all go freaking animal ape @#$%.I feel lost. Maybe I just didn't get the memo or the thorough brainwashing from the media. Why don't people stand up for things anymore? Why do people just play the puppet? Why do people lie to themselves? Why would people give up the qualities and emotions that make them human so easily? Why do people acknowledge their errors and yet continue to repeat them? Why do people become slaves to their hypocrisy? To defend these habits so knee jerkingly, is something I'm sure will happen here, and I will continue to never understand it. I think I finally understand what it means to be alone, to become strong in a world of ideals that covers mine in shadow... It's so hard to press on, knowing the worlds never going to get better.

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Yes, I totally agree with you. People define relationships through sex rather than through common values, interests and a deep connection. "I want sex and I want it now even though I don't really know you or know if I even want a relationship with you" is what is promoted these days. Your ex has sex with others immediately after you two break up and then a month or so later wants to come back to you...well, you are supposed to not be hurt and upset about the ex having sex with someone else because, after, all, they were not your partner anymore. Forget the emotions, forget the feeling of betrayal even though "legally" they weren't cheating..you are supposed to shut up and deal with it because the other person did nothing "legally" wrong. Nobody talks about what is emotionally wrong..just what is "legal". People bend all kinds of emotional rules in order to have sex and justify it. People lie through their teeth to get sex, people lie through their teeth to keep someone hooked on them who they have no interest in pursuing legitimately..they just need their ego stroked. People are very very selfish when it comes to relationships and dating...that is why so many people rebound..because they have no consideration for anyone and just want their ego fix.

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There are women with high standards out there, who have similar values to you about relationships and sex. I am one of them, and I know women on here who feel the same way. It's just a matter of being patient and looking in the right places. For example, night clubs are not so great but online dating can be good - especially when people specify the type of relationship that they are after.

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There are women with high standards out there, who have similar values to you about relationships and sex. I am one of them, and I know women on here who feel the same way. It's just a matter of being patient and looking in the right places. For example, night clubs are not so great but online dating can be good - especially when people specify the type of relationship that they are after.

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I hear ya OP....I sometimes feel the same way after what happened in my relationship and seeing three of my friends get cheated on all in the past few months.

 

But as PoisonIvy says, there are good people out there, you just gotta dust yourself off, keep your head up and be open to the opportunity when it arises. Not everybody sells themselves short, even if a lot do.

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I agree with you Leon - there's a heavy focus on sex without effort. Sex nowadays is no different than ice cream - you want it you go get it and it's instant self gratification. I'm not driven by what's between my legs and that's not what I crave most in a man. Sex means nothing to me if it's not with someone I care deeply for, then it's fun, wonderful, and all those other great descriptive words.

 

I also hate guys who use sex as a pickup line because they think it's cool or what women want now. He just guaranteed himself a "no" regardless of what he looks like or how nice he might be otherwise. If I feel like a w**** around you, I'm not dating you.

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Everyone thinks their particular generation is the most screwed up. That's human nature to believe that. The fact is, life is always in balance to some degree. For example, people may have multiple relationships prior to marriage now, but in my opinion that's a lot better than marrying the first person who comes along because just because that's how it was done back then.

 

I'm not sure who is telling you that the most effective way to start a relationship with a female is to manipulate her, but that is not true. Of course there is tons of psychology regarding human interaction and what we respond to or not, but that's been around forever, and applies to both men and women. If you are spending time with people who actually believe that manipulation is the way to get a gf, then that just means you need some new friends, not that people accross the board don't have "respect for their humanity".

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I agree with you Leon - there's a heavy focus on sex without effort. Sex nowadays is no different than ice cream - you want it you go get it and it's instant self gratification. I'm not driven by what's between my legs and that's not what I crave most in a man. Sex means nothing to me if it's not with someone I care deeply for, then it's fun, wonderful, and all those other great descriptive words.

 

I also hate guys who use sex as a pickup line because they think it's cool or what women want now. He just guaranteed himself a "no" regardless of what he looks like or how nice he might be otherwise. If I feel like a w**** around you, I'm not dating you.

 

Yes, and like icecream, there are all kinds of sizes and flavours, some with nuts and some without.

 

people may have multiple relationships prior to marriage now, but in my opinion that's a lot better than marrying the first person who comes along because just because that's how it was done back then.

 

Having multiple relationships is not necessarily better...not if they were a series of dysfunctional relationships. Multiple relationships doesn't necessarily make a person wiser in the way of relationships. People make bad choices or good choices whether their marriage partner was the one and only person they dated or they dated multiple people beforehand.

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Why is it that the most effective way to form a relationship with a female is to manipulate their minds? Why must I resort to some tactic that makes me feel like some dark horny sorcery from a lame fantasy fiction prono? To watch girls fall for such cheesy dopey lines, no matter how smooth they may come off as being... To have men tell me these things like I'm a moron if I don't down and digest these tactics.

 

Because women can actually choose now and game is not as simple as it was before. In history all you had to be is provider for family - now they can more easily provide for themselves and you need extra things to get their interest.

 

On another hand, those "tactics" were used a long time before by characters like Casanova and similar - the only difference now is that there is internet so information is distributed more easily.

 

And if you think that manipulation is what you do to get a girl - wait until you get married and you will see what it means to be manipulated

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What's the matter with sex? I'm a female who rather likes it. It is as important to me in a relationship as anything else. If a man isn't a skilled lover, I don't want him. I give as good as I get, by the way, in sexual prowess. Is it the entire relationship? No. But it is a big, big, part of it. It's a major form of compatibility and is the key to the relationship, that and having the same goals.

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Having multiple relationships is not necessarily better...not if they were a series of dysfunctional relationships. Multiple relationships doesn't necessarily make a person wiser in the way of relationships. People make bad choices or good choices whether their marriage partner was the one and only person they dated or they dated multiple people beforehand.

 

I am not saying having multiple relationships is better because it gives people wisdom. I'm saying that I feel privileged to have grown up in a time where it isn't just expected that I'd marry my high school boyfriend because that's just how it is. My purpose in even bringing that up to the o.p. is to point out that over generations, things change, but change brings both positive and negative aspects with it. It's not just, "the world is going to hell in a handbasket".

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Negative tends to over power positive in most situations, I don't know about what anybody else, but if things are going to hell who cares about some of the freak "positive" side effects.

 

That attitude is similar to the morons who would decide to steal during a world catastrophe. Yeah free stuff is cool and everything, but who gives a crap? You're probably gonna die in a few weeks and where the hell are you going to play your new stolen PS3? In your house that's been reduced to rubble?

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What's the matter with sex? I'm a female who rather likes it. It is as important to me in a relationship as anything else. If a man isn't a skilled lover, I don't want him. I give as good as I get, by the way, in sexual prowess. Is it the entire relationship? No. But it is a big, big, part of it. It's a major form of compatibility and is the key to the relationship, that and having the same goals.

 

Text book case, I'm not particularly in a mood to counter any of this, but I guess there isn't anything to counter, just proves my point. Hit dogs do howler as they say.

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I think it's great that you wrote this Leon! It gives me hope that the new generation coming along, not EVERYONE is hell bent on becoming the next "stud" or "fast chick" or a youtube porn star.

 

" I just don't know what's going on anymore. It's like I just woke up one day and my generation decides to all go freaking animal ape @#$%.I feel lost. Maybe I just didn't get the memo or the thorough brainwashing from the media. Why don't people stand up for things anymore? Why do people just play the puppet? Why do people lie to themselves? Why would people give up the qualities and emotions that make them human so easily?"

 

I totally agree with you and that is why I have such difficulty trying to have a cohesive relationship now.

 

It's like, "hey, I do not hardly know you, but I expect you to give it up to me anyway!"

I mean.. it's just so unnatural. Even animals engage in some sort of courtship which takes time and some effort on their part, in order to become comfortable with each other.

 

I don't get how SO MANY of people's morals have just gone to pot also. There's not devotion to your partner anymore. No, Oh, geez. I couldn't try be with that person, they already are married, or have a gf!

 

Nope. it seems like now, anything goes... Even I see with jigsup...who is older, it's all about sex!

Yeah, great sex is great, but it also needs to be in a romantic relationship where one partner CARES about the other, not just having them supply their sexual needs.

 

But guys, and girls are so quick to just get some instant gratification now. I have met this guy, who I thought was pretty cool and laid back. Well, he's spent quite a few hours with me, just hanging out, but admits he likes to go to some club where the black girls like to grind up on guys.. I guess cuz it's some kind of ego thing to him, but also he has to make NO effort to get those girls to notice him or be sexual to him, even though he does not even KNOW them!

So. i guess to him, it's more important to NOT have to make any effort to get a girl to engage in romantic or sexual behavior with him, than it is to make some effort and try to get to know that girl and take her out and devote some time to her!

So..... in our society, it seems too, as little effort is devoting to a relationship many times. All these people with their FWB thing. I can NEVER understand that!

 

How can you possibly just be FRIENDS with someone you just had sex with? Wow, that just blows my mind. I don't care how great they are in the sack.. wouldn't you EVER develop feelings of passion and some emotional ties to them?

I know I would, but I have never found that FWD thing to be a good thing for me.

 

I cannot tell say what to tell you. I think alot of what your generation has been exposed to alot of sexual, inpartial, kind of cold feeling advertising all your lives and it's had an effect on you.

 

I think of all the songs that were written when I was growing up, and most of them were love songs. They sure were NOT these rap songs that if you saw a family crossing the street in front of your car, you'd be forced to roll up your window, so they wouldn't hear all the obscene lyrics being sung.

I feel sorry for your generation cuz you've been shown alot of bad examples of things and there is no way you are going to learn to have good morals if no one shows you.

I don't know what to tell you. Go rent some old movies, or old tv shows and you'll see what I mean. They all had morals to them. It wasn't just alot of CGI or some hot chick showing off as much skin as possible. They had plots to them and themes of good & bad.

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There's nothing wrong with the World. The World is what it is, either you accept that or you become jaded and angry about something you have zero control over.

 

So ask yourself: What's wrong with you? Why are you feeling this way about the World?

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There's nothing wrong with the World. The World is what it is, either you accept that or you become jaded and angry about something you have zero control over.

 

So ask yourself: What's wrong with you? Why are you feeling this way about the World?

 

There are stages people have to go through, he's not 70 so he's not obligated to think like that. So there's nothing wrong with him, although your idea of the world is more accurate... that being said,

 

Idealistic people get angry at stuff, and they may be able to exhibit some influence over others, so you never know what this moment 'anger' will mold into.

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There's nothing wrong with the World. The World is what it is, either you accept that or you become jaded and angry about something you have zero control over.

 

So ask yourself: What's wrong with you? Why are you feeling this way about the World?

 

Looks like I struck a nerve, the world is what people create it to be. A world of struggle and selfishness, a world of flaw, you can see it in history, the world isn't simply just what it is if you look at it, study it, critique it. Nobody questions anything anymore, even if they know they should. They let the commercials tell them what they need and want, they let the government tell them how they should fee and act, shouldn't it be the other way around? If I had a quarter for every time someone just accepts things, even when they feel against it, I would be rich enough to take matters into my own hands. But people don't spew coins for being mindless sheep unfortunately.

 

I'm sorry but it's this lazy tool mentality that you display that only further proves my point, you lack the motivation, or are just apathetic to the situation, and close it out of your mind that responsible actions and forced societal change may be necessary which could potentially obscure the life style you were conditioned to accept all your life. If someone comes along and roughs that up for you, you get hell bent... it's so..simple... And again I say... why are people so...BASIC? Man, the world was in need of a revolution a loong time ago, but as I told a friend, it's like the greedy people to day have created a effective system to maintain their wealth and success and keep a majority of the population in a position to do nothing, but major change in life is natural and things are just falling apart and going haywhyer because of this crazy idea that it's okay to try and force things to remain the same forever.

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There are stages people have to go through, he's not 70 so he's not obligated to think like that. So there's nothing wrong with him, although your idea of the world is more accurate... that being said,

 

Idealistic people get angry at stuff, and they may be able to exhibit some influence over others, so you never know what this moment 'anger' will mold into.

 

For sure, I agree with this. And no, I don't believe there's anything wrong with him. I didn't mean to imply there was.

 

It's just unfortunate that ideals are simply ideas that rarely present themselves in a "not so ideal" World. Many famous (and infamous) people have had ideals. I can think of a few: George Washington, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Hitler... etc. But you don't have to look at well known people to realise that everyday people also have ideals (they just don't have the same level of influence).

 

Although it is nice to aspire to something, ideals just don't work. Instead, these ideals can often become a barrier to happiness if we hold onto them too tightly.

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Looks like I struck a nerve,

 

Where?

 

...the world is what people create it to be. A world of struggle and selfishness, a world of flaw, you can see it in history, the world isn't simply just what it is if you look at it, study it, critique it.

 

The World is exactly what you percieve it to be. You see it as being a harsh place, that is your choice. What you have learnt in your experience so far is what shapes your interpretation of what the World means to you. Hence, if it such a terrible place then I ask what events in your life have caused you to believe so?

 

Concerning history, if you look back, it has never been different in any era. There has always been war, famine, disease, selfishness, suffering etc. What you are experiencing is the human condition. Try not to forget that good things also happen.

 

Nobody questions anything anymore, even if they know they should. They let the commercials tell them what they need and want, they let the government tell them how they should feel and act, shouldn't it be the other way around?

 

What makes you think that other people are not questioning things?

 

If I had a quarter for every time someone just accepts things, even when they feel against it, I would be rich enough to take matters into my own hands. But people don't spew coins for being mindless sheep unfortunately.

 

I understand your point. It seems everybody is a sheep. Were you not a sheep yourself at some point?

 

I'm sorry but it's this lazy tool mentality that you display that only further proves my point, you lack the motivation, or are just apathetic to the situation, and close it out of your mind that responsible actions and forced societal change may be necessary which could potentially obscure the life style you were conditioned to accept all your life.

 

Of course you are entitled to your opinion. But imo acceptance is not apathy, they don't mean the same thing at all. Acceptance is a very important tool for learning and moving on, growing and become stronger. Without acceptance and learning to let go a person cannot overcome the pain and suffering they have experienced in a traumatic event.

 

It can be applied to almost anything, take for example a broken down relationship. Acceptance is a powerful thing, it allows healing and the ability to move on to new relationships. Not accepting and fighting something you have control over will only hold you back, causing you to become angry, bitter and cynical. A person who has trouble accepting responsibility for their actions blames everything and everyone else except themselves, forever playing the victim. No wonder these people can never find happiness (because happiness begins at home).

 

You cannot force someone to love you, just as you cannot cure death, famine, war, racism, bigotry, greed, environment, selfishness and a whole host of things you could believe is wrong with the world. Of course, you can always do your little bit, that is what you have complete control over, your actions or reactions, your perceptions, your thoughts, your behaviour, your love, your choices, you.

 

Do I think there is something wrong with the world? No I don't, it is what it is, it always has and always will be. I know there are some things that exist which are terrible but I also know that there are some things that are beautiful and wonderous. It doesn't make me angry or jaded to know that I can't change the world, society, the media, or even my neighbor's religious, sexual or political views (some people have tried and met much resistance). I only know that I have power and complete control over myself.

 

I believe that you are a product of your choices (except for birth and death lol).

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Good replies cl76...attitude determines a lot in life...and this poster has been jaded it seems...adjust your filters ...both good and not so good things happen all the time ...great acts of humanity are also achieved everyday in the simple things not just in the big blustery realm of "ideals" which can often be cheap and easy talk .

 

Blaming others and excessive * * * * * ing just confirms the trite saying "you point a finger and you get 3 pointing back"

 

Op you talk way too much in vague generalizations of disappointment instead of giving us a clear and specific instance of the real issue: your hurt pain and feeling rejected.

 

So why not share that with us instead of covering your hurt under a macro umbrella ?

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"you point a finger and you get 3 pointing back"

 

Actually, this, I've dealt with this quite a lot, but this mostly occurs because of what I said earlier. People who tend to point back do so because they don't want to take responsibility for there actions or answer for what they have done, maybe because they honestly don't know better, I get into arguments all the time because of this kind of crap.

 

Eh... I've been in relationships I guess where a girl made a mistake or did me wrong, I called her out on it, and she played the victim...but that really doesn't have anything to do with how I'm feeling now... I'm not insecure, but I've dealt with people who are, and they usually get very defensive. I KNOW my limits and I know what I need to do to extend them and change them, I am comfortable with who am, how I think and how I feel, doesn't mean I should accept every part of me, whether it be "mistake" or not.

 

Acceptance is weakness and holds back the process of change and revolution. Like my friend, he HATES his job and it causes him major stress to the point of effecting his emotions, I would think the logically outcome would be to look for a new job, no matter how hard it would be and how long it would take. I've offered him jobs that paid almost DOUBLE what he is making, yet he's still rotting in the same place, because he just accepts things. The reason there world doesn't change is because people have been placed in a situation where it's mentally and emotionally difficult for them to acknowledge it's need or take the needed steps.

 

As for me? I've not had a lot of emotional damage, but I've dealt with people who have, it's not fun. If someone does something to me I don't like, I call them out on it. I just get tired of people who just accept and conform to society rather than look for the truth of things, its why things don't change when its obvious they need to, and that just plain annoys me.

 

No I have NEVER been a sheep, and I say this with no denial or deliriousness in my mind or heart, I always question things and did things the way I felt was right, and I got in trouble for it. I got int trouble all of the time in grade school because I always thought differently than the teachers and students. I got in trouble because I stood up, whether it be in my beliefs, for a friend who was accused of being a psycho killer. My popularity in school was destroyed when I decided to be friend the socially awkward.

 

The more I did what I thought was right and did my part as a human being, the more I saw people willing to cut corners and sacrifice the beliefs and concepts that make them human (THEY ADMIT to these things, I don't just generalize and assume all of this), and it just finally disgusted me to the point of asking, why the world is so screwed up like this. But now that I have been typing out this response I think I have have found the answer...

 

Maybe in the end it is the effect of this capitalistic form of living, this struggle to survive so people can profit off of the minds, emotions, and weaknesses of people like they are some kind of cattle, while the people who try to change this twisted cycle are killed or looked down on, and then the media molds everyone else into thinking this exact same way. I usually don't look at T.V. and read to get my news, so this may have something to do with my personality, but I also have a tendency to not trust people. While I haven't been betrayed majorly I've watched people and how they act. In the U.S. people are raised to think with an independent mindset, and in a world with well over a billion more people living on it, that simply just doesn't work.

 

The more I type the more complicated and deep this matter really gets in my mind. Hmm, this might have been suitable for another forum entirely actually... I guess I put it here because I was thinking about how the concpet of love has been so eroded and destroyed. I'm not particulalrly looking for love right now... I was just looking for an answer to my question, which was the simple to understand topic title...

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sorry bro, but your rant is full of generalities....the world is what you make of it given your attitude largely...and acceptance is not failure at all, especially if you understood the buddhist/mindfulness approach.

 

you want love? then open your heart and mind and love FIRST...and go in with low or no expectations, a thick skin and a good sense of humour...park your bitterness and cynicism at the door.

 

A cynic is one who, when they see flowers, looks for a funeral.

 

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.

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...I was just looking for an answer to my question, which was the simple to understand topic title...

 

You won't get a simple answer to this question because everybody you meet will perceive the World differently and come up with a different answer.

 

My feeling is that you are resisting conformity and perceiving those around you who do not follow your ideals and solutions to the "obvious" problems as being weak.

 

That's a good way to start arguments.

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Its not just girls willing to give it to guys. Some guys are that way too.

I had 2 experiences - Both these men are born and raised in a conservative culture and are now in the US for study/work.

1) We talked on phone x2, went on a date. The guy asked me if he could hold my hand. I didn't feel comfortable. We were driving in a dimly lit area, looking at the city lights in the valley. I didn't know him well. I felt it would be too much like a couple to hold hands so soon. When I didn't budge, he pulled me by my waist. He said "its been 2 hours since we met, why don't you let me hold your hand?" I was surprised "so what if its been 2 hours? what do you expect? Everyone is different!"

2) We talked on phone x2, when he saw me online one day, he goes "I'm feeling naughty." I didn't know what to say. He continued "I like to flirt." blah, blah. When I said "we haven't even met, I'm not comfortable being naughty with a man on chat" he went mad and started saying "You are so backward. Do you even know where the world is headed? People like you anger me and frustrate me. Go away. Don't waste my time any more."

 

I really don't understand the sense of entitlement. I'm here to get to know you, not for anything else. Why can't they follow that?

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