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tacotac

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I am in a LDR, but I get to see my bf about once every month to 2 months. My boyfriend and his mom invited me to go on vacation with them and his grandma. We went to Iowa for a few days, and then I came back and stayed at his place (lives with his mom) for 3 more days until after the holiday to go home. He would like me to stay as long as I could, but I have to go back home to work of course. He is a bit of a gamer addict, and when we came back home to his house, he went on the computer to check his games, updates, and then wanted to play his video games. It kinda bothered me a bit, I mean I am there visiting him, and he is not working at the time and has all summer, what not to play games. I guess I was brought up on how to be a host to your guests, not to just let them hang there stranded while you go off to enjoy your own daily things that you don't have to do at the time. So while I am there just loafing around at his house, he seems to be taken over by video games. I just lay in his bed and rest for a bit, I mean I didn't have anything to do, so I was quite bored myself. If I was at home I could have my own things to do. I went to sit in the living room a bit, but I didn't know what I could do to keep me busy while he was gaming, as there is no telling how long he would be at them, in this case it was an hour. He did that for the next couple days, if we weren't out doing something, the spare time he was at home he would sit himself behind the computer, it was like he couldn't see himself being way from it. I felt kinda hurt and sad, I just wanted to go home then, but couldn't of course, I had a ride up there and back. At one point I said I was going to walk over to a friend of his down the road to chat for a bit, since I had nothing else to do, and he wasn't happy about that, and at that point quit his game. When he is at my house and I take a couple min to check my email while he is in the shower or something, and he happens to come out then, he is like, why are you checking your email? I am here visiting you.

 

I love this guy a lot, I mean he has his flaws, but otherwise he is a good guy. I also had to deal with my mom after he left, because she and my dad are concerned and think he is immature, and he is a bit. He tends to blow his nose often, and just drops his used kleenex on the floor or a counter wherever he is instead of throwing it away. That kinda bugs me, and it bugs my family since he did it while at my house, and he also does it at home. My mom told him one day she didn't want him spreading his germs around and to please throw his stuff in the trash. They are now telling me not to worry that there is someone better out there for me. I get discouraged when I get told these things, especially when there are things that I question about. I don't plan on leaving him, but I also wonder if this will be something that will just bother me for the rest of my life if I choose to spend the rest of my life with him. Is this a breaking point situation, or an I just blowing things out of proportion?

 

Since he got home he calls me everyday. I am not much of a phone person, and he knows this. My parents tend to eavesdrop, and I don't feel as comfortable taking about certain things or the ability to feel I can speak as freely. He used to be online each night to talk, and has this new thing where he has told me he wants to cut out his gaming, so he won't be on the computer as much, because whenever he is on to chat he just ends up playing games. So since he got back he calls me on the phone each night instead, but when I got up early around 8:30 am to get ready for work this morning, I turned on my pc to check my email, and the game chat/steam starts up automatically, and while I was online he came online and was playing a game. He didn't talk to me at all. I said good morning to him, but he was in the middle of a game, so he didn't respond as much. Oh well I had to leave for work. When I came home around 6:30 I got on the computer and saw that he had logged off from his game about 7 minutes prior to me getting on. It seems as if he is avoiding me on the computer for chat, yet it doesn't seem like he is making much effort to curb his gaming, as he is still on the comp playing games, yet says the reason he doesn't get on the comp to chat anymore is to stop him from playing his games. I just feel quite discouraged about it all. He called tonight but I didn't have much to say. I don't like being questioned by my parents if they happen to catch onto a conversation that may seem a bit off to them.

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IMO, I would drop this guy in a heartbeat. He lacks proper manners around you or your family and he does not prioritize the relationship he established with you. He is too obsessive over video games and does not treat his guest well like a good host. His behavior is not very welcoming at all. Your parents are right that you could do so much better without him in the picture.

 

Also... to be in an LDR takes a LOT of effort from both parties to make it work. He does not show any effort so why would you want to be with someone who prioritizes in video games over you? Get rid of this antisocial loser!

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When he is at my house and I take a couple min to check my email while he is in the shower or something, and he happens to come out then, he is like, why are you checking your email? I am here visiting you.

 

How do guys who would even consider saying something like that get girlfriends? It's really fascinating to me.

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I did mention that we go do something and did bring up that I was kinda bored and I wouldn't sit around and play games if he were to come and visit. I did join with him on his game for about a half an hour one night since that excites him . His excuse was that he just got home from the trip and wanted to relax for a bit. He does this by playing games. Fine, but when he is at it for x amount of hours, it gets a bit frustrating. He does make an effort in the relationship, like keeping in contact and getting together to see one another. He has his off times where he is like, well maybe we should talk like every other day so then there is more to say. Sometimes I don't get it. It seems like he doesn't want much to do with me at some times, and at others, he wants to spend every minute.

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Fine, but when he is at it for x amount of hours, it gets a bit frustrating. He does make an effort in the relationship, like keeping in contact and getting together to see one another. He has his off times where he is like, well maybe we should talk like every other day so then there is more to say. Sometimes I don't get it. It seems like he doesn't want much to do with me at some times, and at others, he wants to spend every minute.

 

I stand firm by what I said. Him playing video games when he had a guest was inappropriate. When you have someone over your house, you are obligated to entertain them. That's called being a proper host. Doesn't matter if he wanted to "unwind" from a trip, he still had a guest in his house and playing a game for SEVERAL hours is uncalled for. And if you feel that he "doesn't want much to do with you," then it's a sign that you should rethink about the relationship. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? You should.

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