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I can't do this anymore


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I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm going to die. The pain is tearing me apart. I can stop crying and I cannot stop thinking about my ex. He is on my mind 24/7. I don't want to think about him anymore, but I can't keep him out. The only place I've found peace was during sleep and now even my dreams won't let me forget him. I just need a moment of peace. I just need a moment to be able to say that I was not thinking about him and I was not feeling like I had just been dumped. I just want to feel normal and okay for five minutes! Everything reminds me of him. EVERYTHING. I just want to pick up and leave town. I don't want to be reminded of him anymore. I just want him out of my mind. I just want some peace. I miss him so much. I want him here with me, hugging me right now, caressing my hair and whispering into my ear, telling me that everything is ok. I wish so hard that he would just snap out of his delusions and leave his stupid cult. I'm such a mess.

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hey there. i logged onto this site, because i got really sad tonight and don't want to do anything on a friday night in NYC except cry and miss my ex. i just thought i'd let you know that i feel for you, and that it will get better. this is the second time we broke up, but after the first time, there came a day when i could at least enjoy it from beginning to end with friends and even dating. i'm 23 too. it will be okay, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will. hang in there

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I know its hard I've been and am still going through the same thing.You have to believe the days will get better.Its been almost 3 months for me and the good days are starting to overtake the bad days,I know everybody says it but you will survive,you'll be fine.I assume you were the dumpee,so was I.

I was a mess for the first month or so and would read threads where people would say how it would get better or easier.I never believed it but they were right.You have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and realize it's his loss.Do something nice for yourself.You deserve it.

Big hugs!

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what kind of cult is this?

 

Long story short, he joined Nichiren Buddhism. It's not a cult on its own. However, the person that is mentoring him (and the person that brought him into the religion) is the one turning the practice into a cult. She tells him to spend all his time chanting and he should only hang out with other religious members. She calls all other religions s*** and she says that people who have misfortunes happen to them all have negative karma, because they haven't done good things in life, so unless they chant, their karma won't change, so you shouldn't hang out with them.

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Long story short, he joined Nichiren Buddhism. It's not a cult on its own. However, the person that is mentoring him (and the person that brought him into the religion) is the one turning the practice into a cult. She tells him to spend all his time chanting and he should only hang out with other religious members. She calls all other religions s*** and she says that people who have misfortunes happen to them all have negative karma, because they haven't done good things in life, so unless they chant, their karma won't change, so you shouldn't hang out with them.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

I have a much greater respect for buddhism than other religions, as it is more philosophy than religion, but that kind of 'mentoring' is totally corrupt and cultish. Have you tried to help him out of this cult?

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hey its good that people still care about others enough to miss them so...

 

they haven't forgotten all that wonderful intimate stuff

 

Men need women more than women need men' is an interesting saying its true without women, men are nothing, so keep it in mind even though some guys are jerks. Men need a woman to miss them, it is their elixer of life. Good luck healing.

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awww im so sorry your going through this. Breakups suck, especially in the beginning. I used to hate it when people would tell me that "time would heal all wounds." I hated it and thought it was soooo stupid. Truth is, the best answer i ever heard.

 

Things will get better from here on out. The worst is over. Just give yourself little projects/tasks to do every time you think about him. Go to the gym, call a friend, watch a movie, meditate. Take things one day at a time and know there are people out there who care for you and want you to be happy.

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Wow, this happened to you too? I'm in the same exact position as you, except my situation christianity. I could have wrote what you wrote word for word and change buddhism to christianity and the story would be me. Just hang in there. I'm not gonna tell you when it will get better, it may take months or even years, but eventually you will do something for yourself to feel better or something will happen that will make you feel better. You can only worry about what you have control of and do your best not to worry about what's not in your control.

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Yes I as well wake up most days with her on my mind, It has been 3 since the break up and 54 days of NC. I have a good feeling she doesn't wake up thinking of me, but who knows. All I know is I cannot control how she thinks or feels. I must move on even though someday it seems impossible.

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