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Sad Worried & Afraid


RachelNY

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I am very sad and I don't want the relationship that I have started online to end. He is so furious with me right now that he hasn't spoken to me, read my emails or answered an IM in three weeks. It was all over a misunderstanding and I can't get through to him. I feel so helpless and without hope of ever fixing this. My heart is broken.

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Since he won't tell me why he is so angry at me I can only go by what happened the night he told me to go away. We have been so close for the past two years and I innocently corrected him about something that he was in an argument with another guy about and he blew up at me, but I did this in private. I didn't do it in front of the other person. I've apologized so many times. I don't know what else to do. He misunderstood. I had only his best interests at heart. I miss him and I am just so sorry.

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Any guy that reacts that violently to you having an opinion and voicing what you think is not worth it.

 

Yes you care abot him, but he wont speak to you because you had an opinon? talking about treading on egg shells.

 

He should be apologising to you for getting angry over something so silly.

 

If you've apologised and done all you can the balls in his court.

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Hi Blue, I feel so bad about the whole thing. He feels like I correct him all the time, but thats exactly it. I'm only giving my thoughts. That night was so weird, because all I said and I quote was "No remember, he owns a warehouse." That is all that I said. He refuses to speak to me or even acknowledge me. He told me to go away. Like I said we've been so close for two years so I'm shocked that he would react like this. He has never stayed angry for so long and yeah I do feel like I'm walking on eggshells often, but him not being worth it well...I'm not at that point yet. I care deeply for him. I hate thinking that this is my fault. Like I said, I've apologized. I've been so very kind to him. He isn't accepting any of it. What's odd is that he is still staying around the same places where we hang out together. I don't know what that means..

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You are entitled to your thoughts. It is very self centred and a strange way to react to take them as personal criticisms and attacks. ITs not rude correcting, your merely informing him.

 

I think its very silly for him to be so angry over it, life is far too short.

 

You have done all you can and been more than a good friend here.

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you know what - if he's going to be a big baby over one little thing like that, then forget him. how can you marry a man like this and walk on eggshells for the rest of your life, being afraid to say the wrong thing or buy the wrong milk or whatever. forget him. if he can't take an apology, if he can't call you and talk things out, then he's just not good enough for you.

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RachelNY I feel very sorry for you hon. 2 years is a long time and you would think he would know you well enough by now to respect the fact that you do have an opinion. I feel that there is more than what is apparent.Perhaps he has another new love interest? Most grown men wont treat a lady like that so he is not worth the trouble.

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No.. I dont think it's a new love interest. He has been very angry and stressed the past month or so and besides, he has other issues that make me doubt that there is another woman and on top of that, he keeps the same schedule he has always kept. He has high stress times where he does blow up, but not to this degree. He has never stayed this cold for this long.

 

I know that I deserve better, but I had vowed to commit myself to the relationship that at times feels more like a work project. He stresses me out with his stress.

 

I wish I could feel differently, but even knowing that he is wrong and that the problem is a lot bigger than just this..I still love him. It still hurts and I am still having a real hard time with it.

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No.. I dont think it's a new love interest. He has been very angry and stressed the past month or so and besides, he has other issues that make me doubt that there is another woman and on top of that, he keeps the same schedule he has always kept. He has high stress times where he does blow up, but not to this degree. He has never stayed this cold for this long.

 

I know that I deserve better, but I had vowed to commit myself to the relationship that at times feels more like a work project. He stresses me out with his stress.

 

I wish I could feel differently, but even knowing that he is wrong and that the problem is a lot bigger than just this..I still love him. It still hurts and I am still having a real hard time with it.

I feel that you are a very nice lady and as the above poster has already said ..yes I agree he hasnt treated you right.It is sad to lose a special person but sometimes it is for the better ..
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you know what - if he's going to be a big baby over one little thing like that, then forget him. how can you marry a man like this and walk on eggshells for the rest of your life, being afraid to say the wrong thing or buy the wrong milk or whatever. forget him. if he can't take an apology, if he can't call you and talk things out, then he's just not good enough for you.

 

I agree 100% .. Listen to Annie, she tells it perfectly. This guy isn't worth your time if he's going to get so upset over something like you explained.

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Is there a way to set this forum to email me when a new post is made on topics??

 

You can subscribe to it and then I think there is an option in your settings to allow it to email you when a reply is made... (sorry dont know all of the technical speak, LOL)

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I dont want to feel like he never cared about me...he still goes to the same places that we hung out together as if nothing happened. He is talking to people like nothing happened, he wont tell anyone that anything happened. I've just been avoiding it all because I guess I cant fake it the way he does..or maybe he's not faking it..or maybe he plans on getting back with me once he is over his fit of anger. I dont know. What do I make of this part??

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Hi there Rachel

 

He does sound like a big baby to me and it is just not on in a relationship that you are constantly required to suppress your thoughts and opinions.

 

This man chooses to jeapardise your relationship over his anger - he doesn't really care very much for you, does he? Be honest with yourself. I know that being honest with yourself is truly hard. It is often so much easier to bury your head in the sand and hope it will all get better.

 

I always find that the sooner I face my fears, realise that actually I am being treated like rubbish and decide that as much as it hurts, I won't put up with hokey treatment any longer, the better.

 

Like you say, heartache hearts, but isn't love with someone who is not some angry control freak and who thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread a much better prospect?

 

The sooner you release yourself from the angry jerkoff, the sooner you set yourself up for much better stuff.

 

I know it it so easy to write this stuff down, but really think about what I have said and more imortantly, think about what YOU really want and what YOU really deserve.

 

Mark

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