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Stop judging me and damn your expectations!


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Recently I've made the decision to abandon the career path I tried to start by going to uni (graduated last year, it hasn't worked out) and take a radical change in direction which includes going back to uni for another degree. When I was at uni before, I stayed local so I could still live at home, but this time I'm moving out as well as going to a uni in another city.

 

The problem is that people seem to be judgemental of my decisions, which are out of character. However, from my perspective, I feel as though my so called "character" has largely been defined by peoples expectations of me. It's almost as though I've been put in a cage in peoples minds, and they're angry that I've finally decided to try and get out. Does that make any sense?

 

In some ways, the root of it all is a shift in personality I experienced almost instantly after leaving high school. I drastically changed, largely because I was very uncertain. I'm sure many people can relate to that, right? Anyway, I feel as though I'm no longer myself, almost as though there are big pieces of my true personality that I have put on a shelf leaving only spaces.

 

I've only recently truly become aware of these things after much thought and soul searching. I feel as though I need to get away from this part of my life and undo some bad decisions I made, or I'm going to end up miserable. However, whenever I talk of my plans, people act as though I'm doing something stupid or wrong, or giving up on everything I have achieved. It makes me really angry. It's like secretly nobody wants me to be happy, they just want me to meet their expectations. Well, I've been meeting those expectations for too long now for fear of being judged, and I'm bloody sick of it.

 

Any thoughts, questions, advice, support, or whatever welcome. I just wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere.

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The only person's expectations for your life that truly matter are your own. If you are unhappy, figure out why (you seem to be on the right track), and do what you feel is right. If you constantly try to live up to others expectations, or try to live your life the way they want you to, you'll never be happy.

We are always in a constant state of flux. The person we were yesterday is rarely exactly the same as the person we are today, or the one we will be tomorrow. That's called growing up, and it never stops. To quote Shakespear, "To thine own self be true".

I wish you the best of luck!

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It'll be mentally healthy for you if you can make finer distinction between people who are in fact judging you and those who appears to be judging but that you are already too self conscious to tell the difference.

 

This may be one of the blind spot for you. Reality is better than you believed to be, but definitely not free from judgements. If you can make this distinction, you may start to trust, at least some people.

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You are in-tune with yourself and know what you want. That is something some people never learn.

 

That's certainly one way to live. I'm pointing this out because you put such high emphasis on intrapersonal intelligence that you're going on offense on those who are not like you. Either that or I'm mis-interpreting your tonality.

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