I got stood up and wondering what to do now

[sandrawg]

I agree w/Jennifer. Make a joke of it but make it clear it bugged you.

[jaycee00]

I gotta disagree. And you might think this is harsh, but anyone who jokes like that with me shows a lack of spine. If you gotta turn every uncomfortable situation into a joke, you can't stand up to me. I am your boss.

[waveseer]

I would reply, "I think you owe me an apology since I waited to walk with you and then didn't have enough time to even go."

 

How she responds to that will tell you everything you need to know.

[JenniferSNJ]

I gotta disagree. And you might think this is harsh, but anyone who jokes like that with me shows a lack of spine. If you gotta turn every uncomfortable situation into a joke, you can't stand up to me. I am your boss.

 

I think it's one thing if you are dating someone and another thing if you are getting up the nerve to ask them out. I initially told him to forget about her, but he doesn't want to. I think this is the next alternative.

 

If a guy was a jerk to me about this, I'd probably think he was an over sensitive tantrum thrower... but that's just me. Mind you, I would never do what she did to begin with so it's hard to say. I personally think the girl is self-absorbed and should be crossed off.

[jaycee00]

You don't need to be a jerk, and you don't want to be a pushover. I feel there is a comfortable middle a person can strike, firm, yet relaxed, and I think he can do it.

[JenniferSNJ]

You don't need to be a jerk, and you don't want to be a pushover. I feel there is a comfortable middle a person can strike, firm, yet relaxed, and I think he can do it.

 

I'm sure you're right, I've just never seen it in action.

 

Like I already said, I love boys who put me in my place so I'd prefer someone to say something, but not like a jerk.

[coyote1980]

You are gonna see her tomorrow at the office anyway

[clobsy]

You are gonna see her tomorrow at the office anyway

 

yea... i am gonna be seeing her tomorrow...

 

all these jerk thing versus push over stuff is really confusing me... if i knew her very well either as a friend or girlfriend or even colleague i won't hesitate to be harsh with her for what she did today.. but this is a person that i know very little about... from the 2 lunches i went with her she came accross as a very very sweet person that was so interested to spend time with me.... even this walk thing she was the one that reminded me last week and showed lot of interest. given all this i am flabbergasted as to what she did today........ and i am lost as to how to react in an appropriate manner.

[McLovin oo7]

yea... i am gonna be seeing her tomorrow...

 

all these jerk thing versus push over stuff is really confusing me... if i knew her very well either as a friend or girlfriend or even colleague i won't hesitate to be harsh with her for what she did today.. but this is a person that i know very little about... from the 2 lunches i went with her she came accross as a very very sweet person that was so interested to spend time with me.... even this walk thing she was the one that reminded me last week and showed lot of interest. given all this i am flabbergasted as to what she did today........ and i am lost as to how to react in an appropriate manner.

 

We all make mistake. What if she really forgot it?

 

We all over analyse things, don’t read too much into it, she how she behaves tomorrow.

 

Take it easy and sleep on it till you see her.

[clobsy]

I mean that if she came and asked you, I'd show my displeasure with how she acted. Don't give her a free ride to be flaky just because she has different reproductive organs.

 

Now... I don't mean be overly-confrontational, but I would ask her to explain herself. If you want to keep it light you can make it a joke "You're so forgetful X, how do I know you will remember this time?"

 

Again... Only if she comes to you though. If she doesn't mention anything about it, I'd say she wasn't interested.

 

i just now remembered something... i doubt if she is forgetful... the reason is because when we went to the second lunch she remembered a LOT of things that we spoke during the first lunch... the 2 lunches were spaced apart and i was honestly surprised that she remembered the details.. my head is spinning now

[servedcold]

i think she should have emailed you that morning to let you know she was going to be working from home. i know if i had a 'walk' scheduled with a guy i was really into, i'd be totally excited to be at work that day. or if i had to work from home, i'd probably write him at like 8 AM, asking to reschedule, and then suggesting a day next week.

 

i'd just write back something like, 'too bad you missed it, today was a nice day!' and then put the ball in her court to suggest another time to get together.

 

Agree 100%. People who are interested in other people don't let opportunities pass to spend time with them, and if they have to for a good reason, they will apologize and offer an alternate.

 

Whatever you do, don't make an issue of it, as she will likely come up with an excuse, true or not, that will make you feel petty and like a fool for getting bothered by it.

 

People who want to spend time with people they are interested in make it easy to do so.

[servedcold]

I might just write back.

 

Hey x,

Okay. See you at the office tomorrow.

 

x

 

Keep it short, she did.

 

This works too, making an issue of this, especially with someone at work, is a no-win situation all around. The last thing you want to end up as is the "unstable" guy who blessed her out for working from home and not taking a casual walk with him. Trust me on this, please consider just saying nothing. There are other considerations here than just her blowing off your walk.

[HeyNow5201]

Damn, * * * * ...I read this whole thing hoping that a decent guy could get a chick, but this just sums it all up. I hate to say it but I agree with guy about her not being interested. I usually make the same mistake you want to, that is initiating contact again, and being on the outside looking in, I gotta say leave it alone. I wish the movies and TV shows were true; the good-looking, but stand-offish guy ends up getting the girl; but when it comes down to it, chicks are going to go for their ignorant, poor ex-boyfriends who make them feel unimportant.

This chick would have tried if she cared, just like you tried to beat level 8 of super mario back in the day, I know I did. I have driven chicks hundred of miles to get into their pants and have known girls who would pretty much degrade themselves completely to be with a guy. It sucks man, I know what a crushed crush can do to a man, as I have had them many a time.

 

@@@@Ahh craptacular, just read all of this, and dude, I gotta say I agree with Jen and the other peeps, make the joke deal with the whole "Hey, lookey who decided to show" feel and hopefully you can atleast get her to give you a BJ.

[coyote1980]

Wow tomorrow seems to be "the big day" for everyone now(just from some threads

Yeah like some people said, don't read too much into it.

What if she was having major cramps or something? I don't wanna give you a false hope, but there's a chance she really couldn't make it or email in time.

[clobsy]

Wow tomorrow seems to be "the big day" for everyone now(just from some threads

Yeah like some people said, don't read too much into it.

What if she was having major cramps or something? I don't wanna give you a false hope, but there's a chance she really couldn't make it or email in time.

 

I still want to give her the benefit of the doubt as I am seriously astonished at what she did today.... It was totally unlike of her to do this. I am damn pissed but I am not going to show it to her tomorrow. I never wrote a reply to her email as well...

 

My game plan is this -> *IF* that woman comes to my cubicle and asks me for the walk next week *THEN* I would agree. I would also tell her with a smile that she should have informed much earlier instead of 45 mins later.

 

I really don't think there is anything else I can possibly do... especially considering the fact that she works in the same company and I have to see her face almost every day.

 

By the end of it all though I would be seriously shocked if she does not have an idea that I like her. I am pretty sure she knows it already.

[HeyNow5201]

Dude, I am telling you, don't be too over-confrontational unless you are seriously so attractive her eyes betray her mind.

[clobsy]

Dude, I am telling you, don't be too over-confrontational unless you are seriously so attractive her eyes betray her mind.

 

i am not going to confront her at all.... i am just planning to ask her "what happened? you could have told me earlier right?". do you think even that is wrong?

[erase this face]

I wouldn't say anything. It could just make things awkward.

[clobsy]

I wouldn't say anything. It could just make things awkward.

 

wow... the advice coming on is very conflicting... i truly appreciate everyone offering their time and advice but i am very confused now

 

i did not reply to her email. i am not planning to ask her again for the walk.

 

now if she comes to my cubicle and talks, what would you do if you were me?

[erase this face]

Maybe you should stop reading this thread for a bit, and think about what YOU want to do. It's not like you're going to do something drastic that you're in dire need of guidance. Just it seems if she asks for a walk, then you come back with, "You could've told me earlier about canceling our plans" (or whatever), it might ruin the mood. Her reaction is unpredictable as well.

 

Not replying, not approaching her again may be all you have to do.

[clobsy]

Maybe you should stop reading this thread for a bit, and think about what YOU want to do. It's not like you're going to do something drastic that you're in dire need of guidance. Just it seems if she asks for a walk, then you come back with, "You could've told me earlier about canceling our plans" (or whatever), it might ruin the mood. Her reaction is unpredictable as well.

 

Not replying, not approaching her again may be all you have to do.

 

what i want to do is this => not go to her cubicle and talk to her/ask her again for the walk.

 

what i want to happen is this => she coming to my cubicle and asking me for the walk

 

what i do not know now is this => should i confront her, even mildly, about the 45 minute late email that had no apology?

[Day_Walker]

I think that you need to look at what she has shown you. She has shown you that she isnt all that interested in the walk and her interest in you isnt strong. I dont think that there is any reason to completely cut her off but you have to realize that she is not worth pursuing, so I would stop asking her out to activities. I wouldnt stop communicating with her because you two have to work together but I would just keep your relationship more professional

[HeyNow5201]

Guy, if she comes up and asks for the walk, take her without any sign of disregard. ONLY! mention her said incident IF during the walk if she initiates the conversation regarding her failure to arrive. If she says something about staying home that day or whatever, either change the subject, or if you got the nuts, initiate another jog with "I know you were worried about me running to fast, but I'll hold back for ya" and I can gaurantee she will take it literally, and if you can't slam the deal, you can always retract with a * * * * * out of "I was talking about running".

[erase this face]

If it bothered you enough that you feel it should be spoken about, then yes, do so. I'm at a loss as to how you could go about it though. Maybe, "I wish you would've let me known earlier that you couldn't make it the other day."

[clobsy]

If it bothered you enough that you feel it should be spoken about, then yes, do so. I'm at a loss as to how you could go about it though. Maybe, "I wish you would've let me known earlier that you couldn't make it the other day."

 

it bothered me a lot but i really don't see anything good coming out of me asking her about it. the only reason i am thinking about that is because some posts here mentioned that she may otherwise think that i am a guy with no spine.