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A question for gay men...


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I've noticed with former gay male friends and acquaintances that gay men typically dont like 1)'butch' lesbians and 2)females with male-ish attitudes.

But tend to enjoy the company and friendship of Paris Hilton types.

I have a few theories as to why, but has anyone else noticed the same? Gay men does this hold water?

It could just be that they adore the sort of overly fem, extroverted attitude of a hetero-fem woman... because they themselves... maybe like to emulate that attitude? perhaps...

I have had quite a few gay male friends but always sort of noticed that they really enjoyed more extroverted and fem females company.

not sure, anyway.. thoughts?

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I've noticed with former gay male friends and acquaintances that gay men typically dont like 1)'butch' lesbians and 2)females with male-ish attitudes.

But tend to enjoy the company and friendship of Paris Hilton types.

I have a few theories as to why, but has anyone else noticed the same? Gay men does this hold water?

It could just be that they adore the sort of overly fem, extroverted attitude of a hetero-fem woman... because they themselves... maybe like to emulate that attitude? perhaps...

I have had quite a few gay male friends but always sort of noticed that they really enjoyed more extroverted and fem females company.

not sure, anyway.. thoughts?

 

Flamebait? I'm very manly, never tried to "emulate the attitude of hetero-fem woman". I have no probs with butch lesbians and my best female friend is a straight girl that's a lot more manly then my best male friend (straight). Does this help?

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actually it does help!

thanks guys, i was just sitting here spinning in my chair at work and wondering about this stuff.... but its becoming more and more clear to me now..

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Flamebait? I'm very manly, never tried to "emulate the attitude of hetero-fem woman". I have no probs with butch lesbians and my best female friend is a straight girl that's a lot more manly then my best male friend (straight). Does this help?

 

so do you think thats because of your attitude...

like a 'birds of a feather' approach?

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I've noticed with former gay male friends and acquaintances that gay men typically dont like 1)'butch' lesbians and 2)females with male-ish attitudes.

But tend to enjoy the company and friendship of Paris Hilton types.

I have a few theories as to why, but has anyone else noticed the same? Gay men does this hold water?

It could just be that they adore the sort of overly fem, extroverted attitude of a hetero-fem woman... because they themselves... maybe like to emulate that attitude? perhaps...

I have had quite a few gay male friends but always sort of noticed that they really enjoyed more extroverted and fem females company.

not sure, anyway.. thoughts?

 

First of all: Not all gay men are fem!! you can't make an assumption like that. Yes, some gay men do like to hang out with the paris hilton types... because those sort of women are the people they can relate to.

 

I prefer to have women as friends, but the women i am the closest to are really deep, kind, intellegent and as a matter of fact butch lesbians! i can relate to them more than i can relate to the paris hilton girly girls.

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I honestly don't think there's some kind of scientific or cultural trend which explains what you have observed. Your theories no doubt apply to some people, but not all or even the majority. Who would know?? Everyone has different preferences and people around whom they're comfortable. Trying to generalize about it kind of takes away the individuality of the person. Gay, straight, or whatever--everyone is an individual. From what I've observed, it's the personality of the individual and not their gender traits which make them more attractive to others. As a feminine lesbian with a butch partner, I think we are both connected to a variety of others. Our connection is, in part, due to the fact that we are all "different" in a similar way--there is a lot of empathy in that. In some ways, I think my partner relates well to gay men because she is more used to dealing with the prejudices and preconceived notions of others concerning how she, as a woman, is "supposed" to act and be.

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First of all: Not all gay men are fem!! you can't make an assumption like that. Yes, some gay men do like to hang out with the paris hilton types... because those sort of women are the people they can relate to.

 

I prefer to have women as friends, but the women i am the closest to are really deep, kind, intellegent and as a matter of fact butch lesbians! i can relate to them more than i can relate to the paris hilton girly girls.

 

please dont take offense. i'm very aware not all gay men are fem, i've met quite a few.

but thanks for your input.

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you are going to run into that with everyone though. i've never met or heard of one single person who didnt generalize--at least once--about something.

 

i was merely trying to pinpoint the pattern that i personally have been seeing. i'm not speaking for the entire gay male community.

i loves gay men, wish there were more of them!

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you are going to run into that with everyone though. i've never met or heard of one single person who didnt generalize--at least once--about something.

 

i was merely trying to pinpoint the pattern that i personally have been seeing. i'm not speaking for the entire gay male community.

i loves gay men, wish there were more of them!

 

mee too!

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yes! they are!

i miss 'papa bear' already. we went to a leathershop in chicago and there was a very helpful and witty middle aged gay man who helped us around. people like that are priceless!

He made the entire terrible trip to chicago worth it.

 

then there was my old friend from middle-high school who sadly moved for years at one point. he's back now but we dont talk for some reason.. anyway.. total sweetheart!!! setting up to be a 'she' now. he was a sexpot too and knew it, had everyone humping his leg.. even i. lol

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  • 2 weeks later...

I come from a very gay orientated group of friends, the main lot of us, there are 5, 4 gay men and a Lesbian, I have noticed that I tend to befriend strong female types, i can give a celebrity example; Madonna, lady Gaga, etc, whom, being female and feminine, still have MASCULINE qualities about them, and ive noticed that a lot of other gay men tend to go for that type of female friend, thats just what ive noticed x

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