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How to act on my date tomorrow...


SadHatter

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Hi,

 

I'm really confused by a girl who I have been out with a few times. I met her on the first day of work, we both started new jobs at the same company but in different departments so we met for our first day "training". She then began e-mailing me at work quite a bit, which was nice...my new colleagues kept joking and saying how she obviously "fancied me".

 

She asked me to her house on Xmas Eve for a party, but I couldn't make it. But we kept in touch and I invited her to a party a few weeks later and she came and we had a really good time. Anyway, we went out 3/4 times after that, just the two of us, for a drink etc. but I was finding her very confusing. Whenever I would suggest meeting up, she is ALWAYS busy to the point where every single weekend if you say, "hey...do you want to do something this weekend?" she will reply..."Hey...I have no free time this weekend, have xxx's birthday next weekend and am busy the weekend after...how about the weekend of 06/05" - its like she'll ask to see you 4 weeks down the line! It is really weird. Made me think.."hmmm...she can't like me that much or she wouldn't wait 4 weeks to see me". Anyway, the last time we went out, it kinda came to a head. I asked her if this was going anywhere and she said, "We're just friends. I think you're good looking and all but I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't fancy you, I don't feel like I want to kiss you, I just see you as a friend." I was a bit gutted (male pride, what's wrong with me etc. etc. the usual thoughts).

 

Anyway, I was due to go on holiday for two weeks and the next day she sent me a text message and said, "let's meet up when you get back and see how things are." I was thinking, "you've just told me you're not into me...how are things going to be any different when I get back?!".

 

She text me a couple of times whilst I was on holiday and then this week she mentioned meeting up. I said we could do (I didn't know if it was worth even bothering anymore) and asked her how she was fixed for the weekend. She said sorry she was busy and busy for the next 3 weekends (I've never known anyone who always has so much on every weekend as her, Friday, Saturday and Sunday!) and she said about going to the cinema this week.

 

I don't know how to act tomorrow...is it a date or what? I think the whole thing is confusing, do I mention anything or just act like I don't care, don't act like it's a date at all? Is it even a date?! Thoughts please on how to act/what to do would be very much appreciated!

 

Any suggestions anyone? I'm feeling really low right now...I'm usually really confident, but this past year, since my last girlfriend and I broke up from a long-term relationship, I don't seem to be having any luck with women! I'd like to think I am reasonably attractive, have a good sense of humour (everyone says I am funny) and have a nice personality. But every girl I meet lately just keeps giving it the old, "I only see you as a friend". I don't get it. It's been like this for like a year. Meanwhile, my ex is all happily involved in a relationship, all of my mates are settling down, feels like I am getting left behind. I just don't know what I am doing wrong. If it was just one woman, fair enough, but about the last 5/6 women I have been out for drinks with just say they "only see me as a friend." I look at the people they do fancy, and without meaning to sound arrogant, I don't get what they have that I don't. I work hard, have a good job, I have more to offer now than I ever have, yet I used to seem to be able to get women a lot more than I can now. I don't get it. I'm 26 by the way.

 

Meh...I feel really fed up at the moment (doesn't help with going back to work after my lovely holiday!).

 

Any help/advice would be welcome with regards to all of this.

 

Thanks.

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I would not meet up with her if I were you because she was very clear that she just sees you as a friend and that isn't what you are looking for.

 

But don't despair - keep looking and step up up the number of places you go to meet new people. And if where you are going isn't working then try something new.

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Thanks for the advice pal. OK, well I decided not to go. I text her this morning and said, "It doesn't seem worth going tonight. Especially as you want to go home straight after the cinema. I think I'll give it a miss. All of it seems pretty pointless to me..."

 

She replied with just, "OK". I left it. Later today she text me and said, "I don't think it is pointless at all. Text me if you want to go out for a drink sometime." I was like what the...?! So I replied and said, "it does seem pointless, nothing will be any different either from the last time we went out...you made it clear how you felt then..." and she replied, "I think we are getting our wires crossed...I thought you meant you didn't see the point in the cinema...well I am happy to be friends if you are" and then I replied, "it all seems really pointless, sorry, a friend I see like once every 5 weeks, and it isn't really what I am looking for either" and she replied, "I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree and leave it at that"....no idea what she's on about lol... so I just text her back, "Well I hope things work out for you. Take care" and left it at that...

 

So there you go...did I do the right thing? She's really confusing to be honest (well I think so)...I should have been at the cinema right now with her lol...

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