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Long Distance relationship has ended....and I'm sad and confused...


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New to this particular Long Distance board. I’ve posted over on the “Healing After Breakups and Divorce Board” for a while now, but have some questions for people here as my latest relationship was long distance. We met about 6 months ago online, and even though we live 3 hours apart, there was a strong connection from the moment we met it person.

 

I knew that she was in transition out of a divorce a couple of years ago, but things went very well those first few months, although it was very hard and I found it difficult to transition between being without her during the week, and then seeing her on weekends. We couldn’t get past the honeymoon phase of the relationship, as each weekend was like a mini retreat, not really a realistic portrait of what our life together in the same place might be.

 

I was pretty withdrawn I think and sad around her at times because of this frustration, which felt (and feels) like a withdrawl of sort. And this influenced her enthusiasm for the relationship until, about a month ago, she simply sent me an e-mail and said she no longer wanted to see me.

I’m left in a lot of pain and with a lot of questions…how much of the difficulty of getting to know someone is simply the fact of being apart in different places? She had initially been very open to moving to my city, (I have aging parents who need my care and a move for me is difficult).

 

Should I feel grateful that it ended when it did, as long distance relationships rarely work anyway? Any insights would be appreciated! Thanks!

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Long distance relationships are hard. I've always known this, but I thought my relationship could survive it, because I lived with my ex for 2.5 years before we went LD. We were LD for a year before he decided two weeks ago that it wasn't worth his time anymore. Personally, I think LD makes a relationship too unstable. Your relationship started off LD, so it's harder to get attached to someone you see so rarely. Just move on. It's hard to fix a relationship, when you're not there.

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Experience has taught me that a LDR is next to impossible to keep going successfully for long periods of time. If you are married and have kids, this helps bridge the communication and logisitics gap. But dating, it's usually too hard to develop to the next step if you are sharing little quality time together.

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It's so very frustrating because, had we been in the same place, I think we might very well been together...or at least it would be more clear as to what are fundamental differences in our personalties and what were fatal flaws caused by the distance. I was cautious...she was head over heals...as I thought things were getting more real, I became more open, and she I suppose no longer felt the honeymoonish feelings in quite the same way after 5 months (no one can in my opinion), so she ended things abruptly...I felt at the end, especially given her disjointed e-mail that ended things, that I was hardly hearing from the same person I thought I knew...and that of course has to be one of the fatal flaws of seeing someone only about 35 days in 5 months....the heartbreak is a bit less if I realize that likely this never had a chance, and I can now cross LDR off my list of things I've never tried.

 

Very helpful input from you guys...thanks!

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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