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Hi, I feel kind of weird saying that I'm 24 and have never dated, like all my friends are getting married and starting a family, but guys have never really approached me that way. I know it's because I'm very shy, but the guys I've liked never really liked me back and were pretty much jackasses who thought it was okay to make fun of me because of my awkwardness around them. I know they're the ones with the problem, but because I'm quite a sensitve woman, it has affected my confidence since I was in high school, not that I've had a lot to start with! I get really tired of feeling like the outsider looking in and I'd love to feel better about myself.

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Hi, I feel kind of weird saying that I'm 24 and have never dated, like all my friends are getting married and starting a family, but guys have never really approached me that way. I know it's because I'm very shy, but the guys I've liked never really liked me back and were pretty much jackasses who thought it was okay to make fun of me because of my awkwardness around them. I know they're the ones with the problem, but because I'm quite a sensitve woman, it has affected my confidence since I was in high school, not that I've had a lot to start with! I get really tired of feeling like the outsider looking in and I'd love to feel better about myself.

 

New clothes, new style, new haircut, new activities, new people around you - that's what could give you a boost in a new direction, perhaps...

As a kid I used to laught a little about a girl in my class, but now she's one of the sexiest people I know - make those guys look like fools if you come up shocking (not the negative way, of course)...

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Hi, I feel kind of weird saying that I'm 24 and have never dated, like all my friends are getting married and starting a family, but guys have never really approached me that way. I know it's because I'm very shy, but the guys I've liked never really liked me back and were pretty much jackasses who thought it was okay to make fun of me because of my awkwardness around them. I know they're the ones with the problem, but because I'm quite a sensitve woman, it has affected my confidence since I was in high school, not that I've had a lot to start with! I get really tired of feeling like the outsider looking in and I'd love to feel better about myself.

 

Dating takes practice. You know what? You really just need to get out there and do it and overcome your fears. You can join classes to meet guys, or go online (link removed, link removed) and try to find some potential good matches.

 

The first few dates will be scary, but imagine what it will be like once you've had 5 dates, or 10, or 20, or 50? The secret is how you perceive your own expectations. You want to find the right guy, of course, but always keep your expectations at a reasonable level. If you go on 50 dates with 50 different guys (yes, I'm serious), maybe only 5 of those dates you will consider "good", but so what?

 

This means that you need to step up to the plate and be prepared to ask out a guy who interests you instead of waiting for it to happen. Be direct and if he says "yes" then you try it out, and if he says "no" you shrug it off and try again.

 

There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right person to come along, but if you do nothing you will miss that opportunity. It's ok to "practice" by dating some of those jackasses -- it's all part of learning what you like and what you don't like by actually getting out there and finding out.

 

Also, there is nothing to stop you from picking up a good book on dating and relationships for advice. Check out your local bookstore or link removed -- read the reviews and find a book that seems right for you. Read it. Study. Learn!

 

These days, women are taking action. There are even men out there who are expecting/hoping for women to make the first move, believe it or not!

 

You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Everyone moves along in life at their own rate. You have something special to offer the right person some day -- it will happen when you least expect it -- but while you're getting there, stay strong and work on your fears by facing them head on.

 

Best wishes and good luck.

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Don't worry about your age, it's insignificant.

 

As previous poster said, just go out there. Take baby steps. Show your face, people are more friendly than you think.

 

Even men like to tease women so don't take anything too personal and just have good fun and interactions. Tease them back. It's all part of flirting.

 

At the same time don't seem desperate. Don't afraid to be single and look at all the advantages...free time, freedom, no obligations, etc. It's pretty great if you think about it.

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I agree with the whole sometimes you go thru bad ones to know when you get to a good match. I also seem to find myself with people that i think are good matches and they end up not working out that way. I think a problem that you might have that i struggle with is wanting things to work out without really trying or going thru whatever stands in your way. Its going to require action to see results. I think just do things you would normally do or find places where you can meet people that do things you like. Id say even trying something new would be good but it has to be something you are really interested in if you're looking for people. I would also try to expect the unexpected because usually you arent the one that finds love but love usually finds you.

 

I was very awkward growing up but you need to try to learn from your mistakes. Some people have certain things they are good at like meeting and going up to people. I would look at what would make you a good person to be in a relationship with and start believing that someone would want to be with you or interested in you. Sometimes our own feelings can block people away from being interested like say some people may think your not looking for a relationship so they wouldnt pursue trying, etc. I would just try to make yourself comfortable in your own skin and things should go well from there.

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Thank you all for your advice. I think it's true what someone said, that you need to love yourself for other people to love you, and that's something I should work harder on. Datingwise and just generally making new friends as well. I often wonder why I find it so difficult when others can just breeze along and make it look so easy. People seem to get the impression that I'm standoffish or stuck up, but I think underneath the shyness that I'm an okay person. I wait for others to make the first move just because I lack confidence. Asking a guy out seems a little too scary right now, but you're right, I need to take a big deep breath, be brave, and put myself out there, even if it's just taking those baby steps.

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My lack of experience with guys and shyness seems to be a turn off.

It may not be a turn off so much, but more that you don't react the way that other girls react like with body language or whatever. They just don't know how to approach you. I would think that just being friendly around guys would be enough for one of them to ask you out, but I'm not a girl so I don't know. They must get the feeling that you'd reject them if they asked you out, so they don't even bother. It's hard to say since we don't know you personally.

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