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Don't you hate it when that happens...


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It's been almost 3 months now since my ex-fiance told me he 'didn't love me' anymore... and almost 2.5 months since he dumped me (and it feels like far longer). I've been getting on with my life, trying to surround myself with friends and family, and looking towards a brighter future. One month after he dumped me, I felt on top of the world - like I was completely over him. I'd have an occasional 'down' day, but for the most part, I felt great.

 

This feeling continued until Friday night just gone - when I accepted a date with a guy I'd been chatting to (on a dating site) for a while. We went to dinner; and while conversation flowed, I felt no connection or spark with him. When he dropped me off at the end of the night, he leaned over for a hug, then went straight in for the kiss... which was revolting. He'd told me a couple days earlier that he'd never had a relationship before. Well, it showed; because he had no idea what he was doing. Like kissing a 13 year old who's mimicking a french kiss he's seen in a movie and failing miserably.

 

I made a hasty exit, went inside and started relapsing... getting all teary thinking about my ex; how we both felt this incredible spark when we first met, how he was an amazing kisser, how he made me feel so special. He was my first true love and I fell so hard. My mind filtered out all the awful things he did in the end (lying, cheating) and just concentrated on the 'good'.

 

I guess I'm not over him, even though I thought I was.

 

I emailed the other guy to let him know I wasn't 'feeling' it, and that I don't think I'm over my ex, so I don't want to go there. He seemed to think that was fair enough. I've vowed to give myself at least another 6 months of the single life, before getting out there again. But ya know, that whole incident has brought me waaaay down. It's day 4 of feeling miserable but I think I'm slowly coming right again

 

However, I do feel like I'll never find another guy that made me feel the way my ex did in the beginning... another cute, charming romantic, but one who's got the decency not to cheat on his other half. Plus most of the guys on these dating sites are so 'blah'. I have no idea where to find quality guys.

 

That's my rant for now. Somebody please tell me I'm normal... lol

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Don't feel bad.

 

It's been about 3 months of NC with my ex and I know I'm only sixteen but I literally spent every day with this boy since the day I turned twelve.

 

It took a long time and a lot of guys before I realized I could like them without comparing them to him. I probably screwed up a lot of good friendships with guys because I would ditch them the first time they did something differently than him or didn't act the same way he did.

 

Honestly, if you didn't feel a TINY spark, it was probably best you cut the ties then, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

 

Don't worry about it too much unless this really becomes a habit. There are still a lot of good guys out there who deserve a chance instead of being compared to a girls ex constantly.

 

First date kisses are a no-no. Hugs, yes, kisses, no. So this guy was probably not the right one anyway.

 

Good luck!

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No spark. It was like going to dinner with an old male friend I hadn't seen in many years.

 

First date kisses are a no-no. Hugs, yes, kisses, no. So this guy was probably not the right one anyway.

 

Yeah my thoughts exactly. I'm really not comfortable with kisses on a first date, so I was quite taken aback by his advance. Even with all the intense chemistry my ex and I had, he didn't kiss me until our third date. Even then, it was just a peck on the lips... and it stayed like that for another week, until there was so much passion that a little peck didn't suffice anymore... lol.

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Try not to put so much pressure on yourself! You might want to relax more with regard to relationships and, probably when you are least expecting it, that magic spark will appear in your life once again - Isn't that something to look forward to??

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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