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1st date-didnt like him-will i grow to like him???


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If He Likes You He'll Do This - Harsh Truth

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Ok so I went on a first date with a guy last nite...

 

After so many phone calls, pics and videos of him, I thought I knew that I would like the guy-

 

I was wrong. He seemed totally different in person.

 

So of course, he realllllllllllyyy liked me. A LOT. Because that's how it always has to happen isnt it.

 

He is so nice to me that I am hoping that maybe I can grow to like him.

 

On the date all he wanted to do was hold my hand and look into my eyes. I was squirming but didnt let him know it. The other thing he didnt know was that I was thinking about the other guy I dated and thinking how much cuter I thought he was and how I wished he liked me this much.

 

Also, our sexual chemistry is not on fire. When we kissed it wasnt like that great-hes not a horrible kisser but Ive had way better--does this matter???

 

Anyway, I also dont like his hair. He already has a receding hairline that bugs me...

 

He also does this annoying thing with his lips where he purses them and that makes me think he is acting gay. Some of the hand gestures and goofy ways that he moves also makes me think hes acting gay. But then again maybe this is how guys act when they like a girl...I dunno...

 

Anyway he is nice to me, tells me how much he likes me all the time. I do feel comfortable around him-I guess cause I dont like him so much.

 

Maybe I will grow to like him?

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Why do you want to grow to like somebody? If this guy didn't have so many strikes against him to you, my advice would probably be different, but you should probably just end it at the first date.

 

If you decide to give him another chance, it might be best to tell him to cool it on the physical contact until you feel more comfortable/more sure of your feelings. That might not go over well though.

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Mm I doubt that u gonna like him if u think all that already after the first date, u can give gim a 2nd jus to make sure, but don't continue it at all if u feel the same

 

And do better next time... No one likes to be led on- not all ur fault, his too for assuming everythings all good jus cus yall finally met, shouldve maybe shown him not to move so fast or somethin though

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Well Im thinking that maybe I jus still have a thing for the last guy I dated (who was a bit of a jerk)....Ive had that happen b4 where I will be hung up on a guy and then I meet another guy and im not that interested and then I will grow to like them a lot eventually....

 

I dont know...I guess you probably are supposed to like them right away if they are "The One"....but maybe I can grow to like him enough to happily date him in the meantime?

 

*Sigh* He's just really nice to me and I dont know if or when this Mr. RIght guy is gonna show up *Sigh*

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I'd have to agree with Concertina. And coming at it from a different point of view, it wouldn't be fair to give him the impression that you feel the same when you clearly don't. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I had a great time but I don't think we're compatible. Thank you for a nice evening and best of luck!". It would hurt him a lot less hearing it now, than it would hearing it 4 dates from now when he's emotionally invested.

 

It's also okay to be a little selfish. If you know what you're looking for, no one says you have to settle for someone who is lacking the qualities you seek.

 

Good luck!

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Well... It seems the internet again proves to be a hit and miss affair. The internet can ever replace real life.

If you dont have chemistry get away from him. If you marry him youre going to have to wake up with him for the rest of your life. Get someone you really like...

Take care..

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Well Im thinking that maybe I jus still have a thing for the last guy I dated (who was a bit of a jerk)....Ive had that happen b4 where I will be hung up on a guy and then I meet another guy and im not that interested and then I will grow to like them a lot eventually....

 

I dont know...I guess you probably are supposed to like them right away if they are "The One"....but maybe I can grow to like him enough to happily date him in the meantime?

 

*Sigh* He's just really nice to me and I dont know if or when this Mr. RIght guy is gonna show up *Sigh*

 

You don't have to know he's the ONE right away.

I didn't think my partner was the ONE.

In fact it took several months of hanging out, and discovering a totally different side to him..that I fell for him.

There was no attraction or chemistry from my end...I figured nothing would amount from it as a result.

But because of our social circles, we kept bumping into each other in group settings, then did the one on one thing for quite some time, and next thing I know, we're in a relationship..and its been 5 amazing years.

 

But I wouldn't force yourself to spend time with him.

Communicate it to him about how you want to just hang out, maybe ease off on the lovey-dovey touchy feely stuff.

Let things happen if they are meant to happen, don't force yourself to continue to date him with hopes of it amounting to more. I don't think you should have to force being with someone.

 

If you want to go on another date, then go.

See where it takes you.

But don't do this because you're looking for Mr.Right, or The One.

Date with no expectations. Meet new people, and just see where the path leads you.

If you have to force yourself and convince yourself, then I would really start to wonder if you're 'dating' for the right reasons.

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OP, in your implied list of pros and cons, the *only* pro is that he is nice to you. That's not enough, and the things that annoy you now are going to annoy you even more on the second date.

 

I think this guy must have MONEY for you to be asking this question.

Ha! Now that is insight!

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He isnt rich...and so far Ive gotten a Coke from Denny's outta seeing him...so...I dont know if this confirms ur belief...

 

 

Well I'm really confused then because if there are so many negatives why are you FORCING yourself to like him?

 

 

If i met an unattractive female on a 1st date I'm not calling her ever again

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Well I'm really confused then because if there are so many negatives why are you FORCING yourself to like him?

 

 

If i met an unattractive female on a 1st date I'm not calling her ever again

 

i told u- i have never been so liked and treated so well by a guy-u dont know the things he says to me and he contacts me ALL the time-theres no waiting by the phone wondering if he is gonna contact me-he just does ALL the time...

 

 

its nice-- i was treated almost this well once about 5 years ago--but that was 5 years ago...

 

in addition to this, before I met him i watched videos of him and kinda liked him based on those videos and there are certain physical qualities of his that I do like-

 

As i said, unfortunately, when i met him in person it was like almost a totally different deal but--as i said im hoping/wondering if that wil change....

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2nd date, still dont like him-

 

i hate his hair and i dont like how he kisses. i also dont like his hand movements. i dont think i love him...

 

having said that, he is so sweet to me, and I do like that

 

so maybe i should nip this in the bud?

I'll repeat the same thing I said after your first date:

OP, in your implied list of pros and cons, the *only* pro is that he is nice to you. That's not enough, and the things that annoy you now are going to annoy you even more on the second date.
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2nd date, still dont like him-

 

i hate his hair and i dont like how he kisses. i also dont like his hand movements. i dont think i love him...

 

having said that, he is so sweet to me, and I do like that

 

so maybe i should nip this in the bud?

 

Is this also the guy you were fooling around with and almost took your virginity?

 

STOP LOOKING FOR LOVE.

 

It doesn't happen in two dates.

 

You're forcing this instead of just going with it.

Is it necessary to know if you love him after a date? No.

 

If you enjoy spending time with him, then do it.

 

But if you enter every date looking for THE ONE..you aren't letting things happen naturally...you don't LOOK for it, it just happens.

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I would say give it a 2nd date and see how it goes... but you have now taken the second date and it's not that you don't feel anything for him... in that case I'd say wait and see it might develop but you actually feel NEGATIVE things about him... I mean you can see so many dislikes in him already and the only thing you really like is he is a nice guy to you - there will be other nice guys, who you DO find attractive... so let this guy go and wait it out a bit longer for a guy you truly feel attracted to.

 

I once dated a guy who was lovely to me a few times. I thought he was cute, sweet to me and we had stuff in common... but he also was immature, we clashed on a few areas that I'm passionate about, and I felt we had some VERY different interests... so I had to let it go, even though he was the FIRST guy who ever treated me with respect - called me all the time, followed through after dates, made me feel very special.. That is NOT enough, you have to have attraction, compatibility AND niceness.

 

Ammy

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Is this also the guy you were fooling around with and almost took your virginity?

 

STOP LOOKING FOR LOVE.

 

It doesn't happen in two dates.

 

You're forcing this instead of just going with it.

Is it necessary to know if you love him after a date? No.

 

If you enjoy spending time with him, then do it.

 

But if you enter every date looking for THE ONE..you aren't letting things happen naturally...you don't LOOK for it, it just happens.

 

 

No this is a different guy...

 

 

I do like spending time with him. I just dont like kissing so much cause hes kinda a bad kisser and its never too fun kissing someone u dont love...also up close he looks even less close and again the hairrrr

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Possibly.

 

I was just having this conversation with my friend: when she met her current husband, she was not attracted to him at all and thought he was actually quiet ugly. But she kept running into him everywhere and they started hanging out and she saw what a great guy he was and she became more and more attracted to him.

 

I myself have been in that situation as well.

 

But possibly not. Only time will tell.

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i went on a date with a guy who was exactly like this. receding hair line and all.

personally i never got used to it.. he was a little flaky sometimes too...

 

but, on the other hand the guy i am with now i didnt really feel anything for on the first date. even would go so far to say i wasnt a fan of him.

3 months later we had a second date after no contact and really hit it off.

that was novemberish methinks and we are still together *shrug*

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i've gone out with a guy a couple of times. he's not my type of guy (physically speaking). so after first date , i almost wanted to tell him we're done. then since he is a good match also I like his characters and I've felt the chemistry. I gave it another try. and now we'd fourth date, it's going well.

 

i'm glad i've given him another chance.

but my guy is different, there's no weird quirks i don't like about him, only physical appearance in the beginning.

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OF COURSE you don't love him after two dates. WHY WOULD YOU?

 

you cant force yourself into love. Why are you trying to do that?

But by now she should be attracted to him but she isn't.I wouldn't go out with him again.Don't lead him on.if he can't handle it ,it is his problem not yours.
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