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My Parents hate my Future husband .. please please read and give advice.


benty

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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past three years and we have plans to be married after college (and a few years of growing financially). I love his family, and he is a wonderful and caring individual.

 

During our relationship we hit a few bumps and broke up on more than one occasion for periods no longer than a month or so. These situations were usually brought on by the lack of communication that we had, and the college atmosphere that we are in. We love each other very very much, but I believe that it got to be intimidating and surreal, which complicated things. We have been back together for the past 5 months, making the necessary changes in communication and our behaviors in order to make this work for us. Our relationship has never been better, and his efforts to make me feel like iI am on the top of his priority list is off the charts. He knows of the things that he has done wrong and has taking responsibility for them without being told to do so I am unbelievably happy.

 

BUT, my mother and step-father do not share the same views on my boyfriend. I have a very close relationship with my mother and that has allowed me to share a lot of the negative with her (and not enough of the positive). They both think that I am better off without him, which hasn't made me the most honest person. I have been telling my parents that I talk to my boyfriends but we are not dating.

 

I feel so horrible, and I have no intention to stop dating or not marry my boyfriend in the future, but I am scared of my parents. My boyfriend is currently not welcome at my house and so on.

 

I want my mother and my family to love him, and see him in the way that i do . My boyfriend would have no problem doing the necessary things to make the situation better but i do not even know where to start. I want to know that in the future my mother will be at my wedding and love my kids. I am incredibly stuck and lost and need advice more than ever.

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Well....I cannot judge if he's good for you or not, but there is one very important thing I learned - do not talk about your problems in a relationship with your parents (unless you are being abused, of course)

It is none of their business, because they will almost always stand on your side in case you have a disagreement.

Only small amount of parents can be objective, not to mention stop their kids when they want to share all the gory details of their marriage problems.

MY personal opinion is that you're ready to have a good relationship and marriage once you stop telling problems your facing with your SO to your parents and your girlfriends.

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MY personal opinion is that you're ready to have a good relationship and marriage once you stop telling problems your facing with your SO to your parents and your girlfriends.

 

Depends on what the problems are. Sometimes situations can feel overwhelming and you do need to discuss them. Sometimes people on the outside looking in can have valuable insights which will help sort out the problems in the relationship. People close to a person understand that person and how they think...getting feedback from those close to you can sometimes be very helpful and can salvage a situation before it becomes necessary to seek advice from expensive counsellors who are complete strangers and go by textbook responses because they don't really know the two parties.

 

Regarding the OP, more information is necessary. What were the original issues between you and your boyfriend..what did you tell your family?

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