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Moving on, what does it mean to you?


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It occurred to me last night that I severely complicated moving on by defining it in terms of finding a new person or persons with whom to share attention and affection. The process of finding someone new is no longer what moving on means to me. Moving on now means redefining myself as a single person and adjusting myself accordingly. I am no longer anyone's ex. I simply am.

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It means being happy with who I am, and enjoying/taking in whatever life throws my way. It's definitely not about finding a new person/relationship, but rather finding people/relationships that you can relate to and make positive friendships out of.

 

It's the new-found confidence in myself. Even while I was with my ex, I had no confidence--I seemed to feel less confident in myself and my capabilities while I was with him. It's a sad truth, but I'm honestly so much more happier without him, and I'm much more confident.

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It means being happy with who I am, and enjoying/taking in whatever life throws my way. It's definitely not about finding a new person/relationship, but rather finding people/relationships that you can relate to and make positive friendships out of.

 

It's the new-found confidence in myself. Even while I was with my ex, I had no confidence--I seemed to feel less confident in myself and my capabilities while I was with him. It's a sad truth, but I'm honestly so much more happier without him, and I'm much more confident.

 

So, did everybody know this besides me? lol

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When you are finally happy with yourself. Comfortable in your own skin. When all of a sudden, you look even way happier than those couples you see in school/work/etc. And people notice.

 

I am there then. All kinds of people are starting conversations with me almost everywhere I go.

 

Thanks.

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A lot of people make the big mistake of thinking moving on means finding someone else..that is why they end up in rebounds which just takes a piece of the destruction they are feeling and transfers that to someone else...kind of like misery loves company...if I am hurting I will find someone else and cause them misery when they find out I was using them to get over my ex.

 

Moving on means just moving on with your life and putting your ex in the ancient history file along with with the ancient Egyptian mummies.

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I enjoyed the relationship, i just have a difficult time with break-ups and healing. Given my own abandonment issues, the break-up is what causes me the most intense grief and i wallow in deep pain for too long. Moving on just means getting over this pain to me and finding the enthusiasm for life again........i don't care about seeking another partner etc.

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Well...that's a tough question. As of today, I think moving on is being able to integrate your ex into your past to the point where he or she does not stand out as the End-all-Be-all. He or she is just one part (maybe a big part) of your experiences and starts losing center stage in your thoughts. Though you think about him, you have other things going for you...so he starts fading into the background and takes his place among the rest.

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It means being happy with who I am, and enjoying/taking in whatever life throws my way. It's definitely not about finding a new person/relationship, but rather finding people/relationships that you can relate to and make positive friendships out of.

 

It's the new-found confidence in myself. Even while I was with my ex, I had no confidence--I seemed to feel less confident in myself and my capabilities while I was with him. It's a sad truth, but I'm honestly so much more happier without him, and I'm much more confident.

 

ditto, for me, what aerorobyn said.

 

Also, I will have moved on when I can look back on our relationship without painful feelings, and I can think of him without feeling rejected and bad about myself. (I flip between knowing I did all I could for the relationship, and feeling like I was clueless and could have prevented the split...despite what anyone tries to tell me. When I no longer feel guilt, I will have moved on.)

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Looking forward is moving on for me. When you stop thinking about the past and the what ifs and instead can focus on what you want to do now to change the future - your own future.

 

When I feel down, I try and focus on that instead. I've conquered some small goals in the past few months and I have done each of them while single - and it proved one thing to me. I don't need a relationship to move ahead. I just need pride in myself and what I am capable of.

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That's tough. I mean, I can live my life and do whatever I want, whatever makes me happy now. I don't have to worry about being judged by my ex or if I did this wrong or that wrong. I still think about her at times, but I'm healing well. Not necessarily looking FOR a new girl, but I'm definitely looking AT them now.

 

At the same time, if I did meet a new girl and she asked what my last relationship was like, I fear I'd go too far into it and ruin any chance of a new relationship with a new girl because she'd think I was still hung up over my ex. So...not sure if that's having moved on.

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That's tough. I mean, I can live my life and do whatever I want, whatever makes me happy now. I don't have to worry about being judged by my ex or if I did this wrong or that wrong. I still think about her at times, but I'm healing well. Not necessarily looking FOR a new girl, but I'm definitely looking AT them now.

 

At the same time, if I did meet a new girl and she asked what my last relationship was like, I fear I'd go too far into it and ruin any chance of a new relationship with a new girl because she'd think I was still hung up over my ex. So...not sure if that's having moved on.

 

This is exactly the reason I chose to share what I was thinking with everyone. What I thought moving on meant it didn't turn out to mean for me at all. Now I understand that moving on is about leaving the past behind and pursuing other interests, not necessarily people.

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