I am a single man, hooked up with a married woman, huge mistake...need help

[trent2576]

Okay,

 

I seriously cannot believe I got myself in this mess. I need advice cause this of a woman (I shouldn't call her that cause I really do like her) really fooled me on this one. I will make this short and see what you think.

 

I have been with lots of girls but never with a grown ass woman that was this attractive, this convincing, this beautiful. She told me she was getting a divorce, that she was done with him. We hooked up three or four times. She has two girls, aged 3 and 4 I believe. Who knows? But I was scared, I didn't want to get shot at. So I tried to be careful. Guess I should have kept my heart hidden instead of my house. After hanging out 4 months, whispering sweet nothing in my ears. And telling me how I am so good to her, that I am this and that, how good looking, how charming, and etc. The chick disappeared. I mean gone. Notta, zip. I never pursued it. I let it go. Thinking she will call me if she wanted me. I guess not. It's been almost 3 months. Haven't heard from her. Is this what usually happens? Did she go back to fix things? Did she find another piece of ass? I am confused, angry, and have no idea if he knows who I am. I don't know what he looks like. I guess I should have known better. I believed her when she said she was getting divorced. What do I do now? What happened?

[Capricorn3]

What do I do now?

Nothing. You move on. Hopefully it is a lesson well learned, never to be repeated again - don't mess with married women. Yes, she lied to you, so she is no better. No doubt karma will sort her out.

 

Let it go and move on with your life.

[dreamwarrior]

Sorry trent...this is the oldest line in the book....divorcing ones spouse, especially a woman with small babies is hardly going to leave her husband.

 

It's better for you...don't have to worry when the husband is going to show up and shoot the both of you....be glad you dodged that bullet...stick to single women.

[HeartGoesOn]

Sorry this happened to you, but I think the hard lesson to learn is to stay away from anyone in that situation, until you know for sure that they've been divorced, and on their own for at least 6 months.

 

Do your homework first, in order to avoid this kind of hurt.

 

Just my opinion...Take care.

[lostandhurt]

He caught on she was seeing you or someone else as well as you and she is laying low playing the good wife until the coast is clear again for her to betray her family.

 

If you haven't woken up with him standing over your bed by now I doubt he will ever find you. Go on with your life and never be that guy again not because you don't want to get yourself beat up but because it isn't right to mess with anyone that is attached in any way.

 

Lost

[createhappiness]

i think this pretty much somes up what you need to do:

 

 

[Drained18]

Getting involved with someone in the process of a divorce is just not a good idea. I know you regret it now and I am not trying to condemn you- I'm just saying that (with children involved especially) there is always a chance that things could work out in the family and the divorce could be called off. I am sorry that she completely disappeared from your life but I think it's best if she managed to fix her family. My advice for you is to just forget her as best you can and move on to a woman who you do not have to hide with. Someone who can be all yours.

[ShootMePlz]

I believed her when she said she was getting divorced.

 

That means she is still married!! What part of that did you not understand? What if she said she was thinking of divorcing or separating is that enough for you to cross the line? Or she just had a fight with her husband??? Where is that moral line in the sand for you??

[Tony in Phoenix]

i think this pretty much somes up what you need to do:

 

]

 

That post and thread has to be one of the best ever posted on this board. Tremendous read.

[littlestar]

Sorry this has happened to you. I am not sure what advice to give to make you feel better.

There could be a number of reasons why she has disappeared. One of them could be going back to her old comfortable life.

Do you have any contact with her at all?

[trent2576]

I kind of regret not pursuing to see if she had any interest for me. My friends said I made a mistake by not making contact. I made contact once. She never replied. Second time she did and told me she would call me back, never did. Should I have pursued this more? I kinda feel like maybe if I pushed it, she would have left him. She had very strong feelings for me at first. All of a sudden, that changed. She went from needy, and attached to this.

[Luke Skywalker]

I kind of regret not pursuing to see if she had any interest for me.

 

Well, I don't think that's a bad regret. She's married, right?

[littlestar]

I kind of regret not pursuing to see if she had any interest for me. My friends said I made a mistake by not making contact. I made contact once. She never replied. Second time she did and told me she would call me back, never did. Should I have pursued this more? I kinda feel like maybe if I pushed it, she would have left him. She had very strong feelings for me at first. All of a sudden, that changed. She went from needy, and attached to this.

 

Hard to say, would really depend how serious she was about you and leaving her current life to be with you.

It could well be her and her man are trying to work things out. If you got involved and pursued her a bit it could well have changed things. But there's no gurantees either way and in these situations it's often hard to know what is the 'right' thing to do and what will lead us to happiness or disaster.