Moving, all I can do is think about her.

[pushforward]

Hey all.

 

I'm moving, packing stuff and moving it around. Uncover some good momentos and with those momentos, the painful memories and feelings resurface.

 

I know I'm moving on, but I feel like there will always be this hole in my heart. I don't want to feel this way. She did not complete me, we're two different people who want different things in life. I'm trying to rationalize everything, but still doesn't make any sense.

 

I've been having urges to break NC, but I let them wash away. Even small things like checking her myspace, I don't act on it. I don't get it. I want to let go and stop this self destructive feelings I have. I don't want to love this person when they aren't in my life.

 

I've done many things, accomplished and made new connections. It all feels so small. It's like every love song. All the cars, all the money, all the people, nothing amounts to her. I'm trying really hard to take her off the pedestal.

 

I've been out there dating and I haven't found anybody that meets my standards. I guess the dating scene is scary around my age. Ugh, I don't want to be pessimistic.

 

I really miss her but I won't act on it. I have to move on, I can't be doing this to myself and hold on to somebody who didn't love me the way I want to be loved.

 

First loves are hard to get over.

[SapphireNoir10]

It hurts to find things that remind us of the goood times. You have to stay strong. The new accomplishments and connections ARENT small.

[funsinglemommy]

We can do it, I have urges to break NC but know that it isnt worth it...yes, there are losers out there, but there are millions of people...someone is bound to make you happy again. In the meantime look forward to your future and smile you are moving! That means you put everything where you want, eat when you want and make new friends...it takes time but we will all make it!! Hang in there

[gbr2bagain]

Packing away the memories is a tough chore. Did that myself not too long ago and completely understand the fear of dating at a more matured age. Really scary. Keep your chin up. Don't let yourself waiver even though the ache may be there.

 

Best wishes to you.