diabolik Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 After a good second date with a woman, I got preoccupied with other things and called her, and left a voice message, just over a week later. It's been a few days since, and no response. I think I might have waited a bit too long and inadvertently communicated disinterest in doing so. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 After a good second date with a woman, I got preoccupied with other things and called her, and left a voice message, just over a week later. It's been a few days since, and no response. I think I might have waited a bit too long and inadvertently communicated disinterest in doing so. Could be.... But I'd hope that if she had a good date she'd still call back and be happy to get together again. Maybe try calling her again and seeing if she picks up. Or text her. What did you say in the voice msg? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 After a good second date with a woman, I got preoccupied with other things and called her, and left a voice message, just over a week later. It's been a few days since, and no response. I think I might have waited a bit too long and inadvertently communicated disinterest in doing so. how do men get so preoccupied with things that they forget to call the woman they are interested in? yes, you may have communicated disinterest. at least, that's how i'd take it if i went on a second date with a guy and he took 8-9 days to call me again. i may or may not see him again, depending on how annoyed i was, if i knew he had a bunch of finals (either to take or to grade), or if i had other prospects going on. for the most part, unless there is a good reason, i figure a man who takes over a week to call me really isn't that interested in whether i say yes or no to him. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 it's also an interest level thing. if brad pitt took 8 days getting back to me after a date, i would be ok with it!! if i thought our date was only 'ok' and then i was annoyed after not hearing from him for a while, i might move onto more promising prospects. Link to comment
brokenheart311 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Yep, sounds like you waited too long. In my experience the woman likes to be told that the guy had a good time within a day or two. Any longer than that are their imagination starts to run wild, she might think that you are playing games. Or she might be just giving you a taste of your own medicine (from her point of view). Maybe give her another call and tell her you're sorry that you got busy and would like to set up a date soon. If still no reply, then back off. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 yeah, i agree. i typically like it when a guy sends me a quick email or text the same night or the next day telling me he had a nice time. if he anticipates being busy, i also appreciate it if he tells me he has a lot going on, but will call me in a few days to make a 3rd date. or whatever. i can definitely see her also trying to 'play your game' and wait a week to call you back also. Link to comment
diabolik Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 What did you say in the voice msg? Nothing in particular; just calling to say hello, etc. how do men get so preoccupied with things that they forget to call the woman they are interested in? Other dates. Yep, sounds like you waited too long. In my experience the woman likes to be told that the guy had a good time within a day or two. Any longer than that are their imagination starts to run wild, she might think that you are playing games. Or she might be just giving you a taste of your own medicine (from her point of view). Maybe give her another call and tell her you're sorry that you got busy and would like to set up a date soon. If still no reply, then back off. Yeah, I think I'll make another call. Lesson learned. Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Maybe she's preoccupied going out on other dates too. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Honestly, I think if a guy took more than a week to call me back, then didn't even mention the last date, but only said, "just wanted to say hi," I'd really feel that he's being wishy washy, and wouldn't want to contact him again. Even if you were on other dates, I assume you had spaces in between to call her. I don't "date around" myself, but if I did and wanted to keep all my options open because I was interested in them all, I'd be making a note to get back to each of them to let them know I enjoyed their company and would like to think of a next date. Maybe you actually aren't that interested in her, and subliminally, were procrastinating on calling her back, and this is in fact the result you wanted, but were too on the fence to make a decision about, so you've passively "forced your own hand" a bit by waiting so long? Link to comment
COtuner Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 That's the one nice thing about dating older or less attractive guys - they usually aren't dating several women at once so I get their attention in matters like this and don't have to compete. Link to comment
Jess2006 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Uhhhh YEAH you did wait too long! I have always found that the guys who have truly been interested in me for a second date call me either that SAME night, or the next day. So I've never had the experience where a guy did like me but got "too busy" and waited to call more than a week. Either I hear from them the next day or I never hear from them after. If I was in her situation, I would have well asumed that you were not interested, and would have moved on. Now, if I seriously liked you, and you still waited like 9 days to call, I would not call back until at least a few days. Its not a matter of playing games, but of self respect. If he is too busy to call within a reasonable time, than I am too busy too to return a phone call right away. Link to comment
diabolik Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 Maybe she's preoccupied going out on other dates too. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if she were. Even if you were on other dates, I assume you had spaces in between to call her. I don't "date around" myself, but if I did and wanted to keep all my options open because I was interested in them all, I'd be making a note to get back to each of them to let them know I enjoyed their company and would like to think of a next date. Maybe you actually aren't that interested in her, and subliminally, were procrastinating on calling her back, and this is in fact the result you wanted, but were too on the fence to make a decision about, so you've passively "forced your own hand" a bit by waiting so long? Fair enough. Yes, I'll have to be better about that. Could be. There was an issue that turned me off a little bit, but she does have a lot of great things about her. Uhhhh YEAH you did wait too long! I have always found that the guys who have truly been interested in me for a second date call me either that SAME night, or the next day. So I've never had the experience where a guy did like me but got "too busy" and waited to call more than a week. Either I hear from them the next day or I never hear from them after. If I was in her situation, I would have well asumed that you were not interested, and would have moved on. Now, if I seriously liked you, and you still waited like 9 days to call, I would not call back until at least a few days. Its not a matter of playing games, but of self respect. If he is too busy to call within a reasonable time, than I am too busy too to return a phone call right away. Yeah, I guess expecting her to call back w/in 24 hours was a bit arrogant on my part. And I get the self-respect angle. I'll make another call this weekend. Link to comment
volpe Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Could be. There was an issue that turned me off a little bit, but she does have a lot of great things about her. What was the issue? I imagine it was pretty significant if you ended up forgetting about calling her back... Maybe you are just lonely and trying to get some attention? I think if you aren't sure you want to see her, it's more fair to leave it. Link to comment
diabolik Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 Update: So I made another call, and we're good. I think. Will only be sure when we next see each other. Link to comment
Jess2006 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Sounds good. Make sure you do show your interest this time by getting back to her on a more reasonable time-frame (if you truly are interested). Link to comment
BriarRose Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Yes, I am afraid you may have. Personally, if it was me and the guy waited a week to call I wouldn't respond, either. Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I don't think it's necessarily too long, but wouldn't make a practice of it, especially based on the response here Sounds like you got it worked out. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.