clobsy Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 hey there, I need some help with this girl that I have been crushing on lately... We are colleagues but work in different departments. I have talked to her couple of times and we went for lunch 2 times. She seems interested when I talk to her and readily accepted for lunch on both the occasions. We lightly teased each other during the second lunch... Usually my problem is that I can go up to a girl, introduce myself and start a conversation. I am pretty confident up to that part. But I have no clue as to how I can show her that I am romantically interested in her. I am now facing the same situation with this girl. How should I let her know that I am interested in her? I can say "would you like to go for a coffee?" but I have done that in the past and the girl assumed we were going out as friends ... What should a guy tell/do to make the girl know that he is interested in her? Thanks, clobsy Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 hm. well, you can ease in slowly. is there some festival in your town this weekend? i know in my town, there's a different event practically every weekend. maybe ask her if she'd like to join you to go to the event, and see what she says. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 hm. well, you can ease in slowly. is there some festival in your town this weekend? i know in my town, there's a different event practically every weekend. maybe ask her if she'd like to join you to go to the event, and see what she says. no there isn't.. after having the second lunch we have planned to take a walk on a trail that is nearby the company where we both work... yesterday evening she reminded me that next week we should go for that walk... does that mean anything at all? or am I reading too much into it? also, if i ask her for some activity or join me to go to a event does that necessarily mean that i am interested in her? would she be able to understand that i am interested? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 look in your local newspaper for community events. there might be something interesting going on. i'm just saying, asking her to come to the botanical gardens with you and take a walk, or asking her to join you watch some local band perform is more interesting than just asking her out to starbucks. starbucks is fine and all. i think she should know you are interested if you are asking her to hang out with you on the weekends. but you should put out some flirty vibes. Link to comment
brokenheart311 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Have confidence in yourself. When I met my ex fiance i liked her immediately, we met up twice, once at a music festival and then later the next week for an informal tennis/dinner date. That weekend we were texting back and forth, obvious flirting on both of our parts. I wanted to see her again the next day and go on an official date. it was early enough on that if I got shot down I wasn't going to be miserable for more than a day or two. I ended up texting her and said "Hey, I want to take you to dinner and a movie tomorrow night. Just so you know I really like you. I think we would be great friends, but I'm having romantic feelings for you and I'm asking you out, right now, on our first official date." She ended up responding that she was having feelings for me too and the next day we started our real relationship together. So just put it out there that your interest is more than just for friendship. If you don't make the move, chances are she never will either. If you do it early on and get turned down then no biggy since you haven't got so much time invested in a "friendship" that you secretly hope turns into more. Link to comment
stella74 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 after having the second lunch we have planned to take a walk on a trail that is nearby the company where we both work... yesterday evening she reminded me that next week we should go for that walk... does that mean anything at all? or am I reading too much into it? also, if i ask her for some activity or join me to go to a event does that necessarily mean that i am interested in her? would she be able to understand that i am interested? She sounds interested as more than just colleagues. A walk is a great thing to do. If that goes well, you can ask if she wants to go on a hike on the weekend. My ex-fiance and I did that on our first date. We prepared a picnic lunch and it was really fun. Then for the second date, he invited me out for dinner and a concert. I wasn't sure he was interested until that second date - that's when we kissed for the first time. So take things slow and let her know you're interested. Keep talking and flirting. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 i think she should know you are interested if you are asking her to hang out with you on the weekends. but you should put out some flirty vibes. thanks annie. this is what i am mainly concerned about... i just want her to know that i am interested in her rather than just friends... as stella suggested i think if the walk on the trail next week goes well i can ask her for a hiking trip during the weekend... i hope she will get the hint that i like her. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 you know, compliment her on her eyes or her hair. touch her shoulder and brush off a leaf if it falls there. give her a warm smile and look into her eyes.... she'll know! Link to comment
DJDamage Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Why only ask her for lunches? go after work to your nearest bar and it will loosen both of you up. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 you know, compliment her on her eyes or her hair. touch her shoulder and brush off a leaf if it falls there. give her a warm smile and look into her eyes.... she'll know! when we went to the second lunch i touched her lightly on her shoulder couple of times... also when we were walking towards the restaurant she was too close to a tree branch and i gently pulled her towards me on two occasions. we were also walking very close to each other.. almost touching... and she seemed to be comfortable.. during lunch i said "i really like your smile. its very cute". i also kept looking into her eyes... so i guess i did the right things... and as i had mentioned earlier when she left for the day she said "we have to go walking on the trail next week". Link to comment
Dubb Posted May 24, 2009 Share Posted May 24, 2009 Keep up the touching. You will eventually have to let her know you're interested. Do it in a playful matter at first. When you meet her next time just make a comment on her appearance. For instance, "Wow! You look amazing! Did you get all done up for me?! Say it in a playful tone. If you're going to compliment a feature do it in a sincere way. "I really like your smile, you have the kind of smile that calms everyone around you. I like that about you." Just an idea. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 24, 2009 Author Share Posted May 24, 2009 Keep up the touching. You will eventually have to let her know you're interested. Do it in a playful matter at first. When you meet her next time just make a comment on her appearance. For instance, "Wow! You look amazing! Did you get all done up for me?! Say it in a playful tone. If you're going to compliment a feature do it in a sincere way. "I really like your smile, you have the kind of smile that calms everyone around you. I like that about you." Just an idea. thanx Dubb. so light touching and compliments are a good way of letting her know that i am interested, right? next week when we take a walk i am planning to ask her out for hiking during the weekend. do you think it is a good idea? Link to comment
Kinetics Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Yeah, after all the touching and flirting, you'll probably have a better idea of where it could go, and you'll of course have to tell her your feelings at some point. But even after all that, there is still more to come! ;-) Be prepared for the long (and fun) ride! Link to comment
glegend Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 How should I let her know that I am interested in her? I can say "would you like to go for a coffee?" but I have done that in the past and the girl assumed we were going out as friends ... What should a guy tell/do to make the girl know that he is interested in her? I'm facing the same issue here bro. Its very hard. I get mixed signals from this girl at work. Some days its like all eyes on me and she is very interested in me. Then another days its the total opposite. Then I've herd that she just wants to be friends from a co-worker of mine. I'm just going to ask her. Tell her I want to ask her something, then when she says ok, I'm going to ask her if she would like to out one night on date. If she says yea, then I dont know I'm going to do. If she just wants to be friends then w/e I like that too. I've dropped many hints that I'm interested in her. I think she's gotten the message. Like this weekend this assistant manager was hitting on her, and I told I'll kick his butt is she wants. Because he keeps bugging her. I guess the best way to do is just do it. Go up to the girl and just ask away. Get that adreniline rush going and go for it. Thats the only way that you could get your answer. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 25, 2009 Author Share Posted May 25, 2009 I agree. I could sit here and keep wondering until the cows come home but I will have no answer... I don't know her from Adam and have no way of knowing what she is feeling. Next week when we go for the walk I am gonna ask her out for hiking during the weekend. Hopefully she will get the hint. Link to comment
glegend Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I agree. I could sit here and keep wondering until the cows come home but I will have no answer... I don't know her from Adam and have no way of knowing what she is feeling. Next week when we go for the walk I am gonna ask her out for hiking during the weekend. Hopefully she will get the hint. Yea it the same with me. I could sit and wonder until the cows come home, just like you say, but will never know. Personally, I hope when I ask her I get the answer I am looking for which is yes. I say go for it next week. Its the only way you will know. My girl has 1 week of exams left, so hopefully we could go bowling next week and then I could ask her to get my answer. I'm really confused though because one of my coworkers told me that she told him that she just wants to be friends with me right now. But I will never know until I ask. But I will be honest with you, I really think she is going to turn me down. Not because of what I've herd but I just got this feeling that she is going to. I'm used to it, every girl I've ever asked out other then my ex that I asked turned me down. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 26, 2009 Author Share Posted May 26, 2009 guys, quick question... if i ask this girl "So what are your plans for the weekend? If you wanna hang out, let me know" would that indicate to her that I am interested in her? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 guys, quick question... if i ask this girl "So what are your plans for the weekend? If you wanna hang out, let me know" would that indicate to her that I am interested in her? that doesn't signal overwhelming interest to me. i like it when a guy 'takes charge' and makes plans like, 'hey - wanna catch that band with me on sunday night?' Link to comment
coyote1980 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 When a guy asks me out on dinner, that's when I usually know he is interested, you know outside of work hours. "So what are your plans for the weekend? If you wanna hang out, let me know" Like Annie said, unless he makes exact plans with me, I don't assume he is interested. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 I have an updated thread here about this: I am conflicted as to the dating ideas and the situation is more complicated because she told her ex called her up on Saturday. I can't take this any more... I am going to ask her out on Thursday... either for museum, dinner or some thing else. Link to comment
cl76 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 guys, quick question... if i ask this girl "So what are your plans for the weekend? If you wanna hang out, let me know" would that indicate to her that I am interested in her? This is so passive it screams of becoming just friends. Are you the man or what? Take the lead. Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 This is so passive it screams of becoming just friends. Are you the man or what? Take the lead. yup, i agree. as you can see i don't have much experience... what would you consider to be an ideal first date? i am getting conflicting info here.... some say ask her for dinner.... some say no dinner for first date... i am splitting hairs here Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 This is so passive it screams of becoming just friends. Are you the man or what? Take the lead. yeah, seriously!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
cl76 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 yup, i agree. as you can see i don't have much experience... what would you consider to be an ideal first date? i am getting conflicting info here.... some say ask her for dinner.... some say no dinner for first date... i am splitting hairs here To me the ideal first date is coffee. The ideal second date is lunch. The ideal third date is dinner. The ideal fourth date is a day out doing some fun activity that involves getting physical - bushwalk, beach, abseiling, rock climbing, picnic etc. The ideal fifth date is a home cooked romantic dinner. Now the deal is sealed. Timing is also crucial, don't rush it. One week between dates at least (build up the excitement). Link to comment
clobsy Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 To me the ideal first date is coffee. The ideal second date is lunch. The ideal third date is dinner. The ideal fourth date is a day out doing some fun activity that involves getting physical - bushwalk, beach, abseiling, rock climbing, picnic etc. The ideal fifth date is a home cooked romantic dinner. Now the deal is sealed. Timing is also crucial, don't rush it. One week between dates at least (build up the excitement). We have gone for lunch two times.... of course they were not dates... Given this is coffee still a good first date idea? I am thinking of directly asking her for dinner. Link to comment
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