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This info has been very helpful... I keep thinking about my ex, so to stop myself from thinking anything irrational (lately I've had enough self control to not DO anything irrational) I keep rereading the advice on these forums!!!


I was wondering though, if I could give a brief synopsis of my story and see if anyone thinks there is a chance of getting back together with my lady friend. I realize that it is probably for the best that we are no longer together, but I selfishly want her back so badly... And it has been almost a month and I still think about her and us constantly (which is unusual for me because I get over things pretty quickly).


Im going to try to make this very brief, because if I go into great detail I'll be writing a novel... Met an older woman, ended up hooking up. Was meant to be a one time thing but continued hooking up and ended up doing so for 7 months. It turned into practically a relationship, we were intimate and close emotionally as well as physically. I did not tell anyone and was paranoid that my parents or someone would find out. At first this didnt bother her, as she said she enjoyed our situation of just having fun. A month ago she says that she doesnt know what she wants right now, but she thinks we shouldnt do this anymore, but wants to stay friends. Later come to find out she was talking to a new guy while we were together near the end and is now seeing him, which she also told me after I questioned the full reasons of her ending things. We break up amicably and say we will always care for each other but that we know this wont ever work out long term. A week later I email her asking her to try things again and that I am willing to give her whatever it is that she wants in a relationship and or have a real deal relationship. She says she wants to be with me but is torn because we are at different places in life, and that she needs to think and will get back to me. A week later she says she just got back from a business trip and visit to this new guy (she told me about the planned visit the day she ended things with me). "Things went better than [she] imagined" and it reiterated her notion that we shouldnt do this anymore and just be friends. So my proposal for reconciliation was denied... But we plan on having a drink together in a few weeks when I get back to the city where I go to school in, for summer classes.


Obviously it is wiser to just move on, because this woman is much older than me, but I am finding myself thinking about her and our situation all the time... I cant seem to get over it yet! And I still hold on to the fantasty that we will one day get back together, or be intimate on some level. I have no closure I guess... The fact that she is gorgeous (picture one of the ladies of Wisteria Lane), fun, and a sweet person doesnt help either. The reason I am holding on to the idea of getting back together is because I know this woman cared for me a lot... in fact I think she was falling in love with me maybe. And I cared a great deal about her too. I think the only thing keeping us apart is the age issue... And age is just a number (even though I was the one who made a big deal about our age the whole time)... Age at this point doesnt seem to be enough, in my opinion, to keep two people that care deeply about each other apart. I am too proud to ask for reconciliation AGAIN, but at the same time sometimes you have to fight for what you want and not just give up so easily? I just want to be with her so badly... but I dont want to act like a fool or hurt my pride. Any advice or harsh reality checks would be appreciated. Thank you!

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You are totally right, I have nothing to lose... But at the same time, I dont want to put myself in the position to be the "dumpee" anymore. I am a proud person and I dont beg for anything, which at the same time proved to me that I care about this woman a lot that I even tried to reconcile once-- cuz I never do that. But at the same time, maybe a bitter end is better than never really knowing what could have been... I just dont know if I can lower my ego to the level of causing a bitter end (by asking AGAIN to reconcile), assuming it would have that effect of course...


Anyway, thanks for the reply.

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