jstu Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 im a senior in high school ... i graduate in about 2 weeks. the other night, i spent the night at my girlfriends house (im a girl ps) and we were having fun or whatever. she was my best friend for 2 years when we both discovered we were gay then got together ... but anyway so we started dating in december and weve been taking it very slow. so the other night for the first time, i did something and she retreated and smothered her face in the pillow. ive never seen her like this ever ... and her legs started to shake nervously. the only thing she would tell me is that she had a bad experience in her past ... but now she keeps trying to push it off like nothing is wrong. shes breaking up with me before i graduate .. supposidly so ill be 'free' in college but i dont want to break up. and she will not tell me what happened to her ... and i need to help her. its hard because i know i need to talk to her about this specifically before summer because shes going away for 6 weeks but i also wanna spend quality, loving time with her. i dont know what to do in the next 2 weeks ... i want to help her, but i want to push it aside for the time being but i know that isnt right. she needs to deal with whatever it is and i dont know if she ever will if i dont push her sooner than later. sigh ... ive been so stressed, upset, and angry about this. anyone have any advice ... its very welcome. thanks ... Link to comment
avman Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 You can't force someone to talk about their past and you shouldn't push the issue too hard. All you can do is let her know you are there for her when she wants to talk about it and leave it at that. You could always suggest she talk to a counselor about whatever is bothering her because then it would stay confidential. But again, you can't make her do it. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I second what Avman says, forcing the issues or MAKING her talk about it wont help, if she opens up, she will in her own time, or if she ever does. She has to work it out in herself. Link to comment
jstu Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 the thing is though she wont talk about it. ever.she keeps saying shes just gonna live her life alone and she will because shes the kind of person that doesnt open up, and its huge that she has to me even a tiny bit. and when i leave, i wont have as many opportunities to talk to her about it. and she wont get over itif she doesnt talk to me ... she doesnt talk to anyone ... never has and she never really will. she pretends like its not there but its been coming up ... but she tries to ignore it Link to comment
avman Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Well again you can't force her to talk about it. That's something you have to learn to accept. If the way she handles problems is very bothersome to you then that's something you have to consider about a relationship with her. You posted this in the abuse forum so it sounds like that is your suspicion. But that may not be the issue at all. There could be something else totally unrelated. It is very hard when you care about someone to see them in pain and not be able to do much about it. However that's just a fact of life. Link to comment
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