I need some advice...

[lucky87]

Hopefully this is in the most suitable section.

 

Ok, this is one of those love/relationship/what is wrong with me kind of stories and any advice would be great.

 

Almost a year ago (June), I met a girl through family/friends. Keep in mind she was my first girlfriend and first love, so that's already part of the problem. We dated for a while, fell in love, and all that stuff. We were together for 4 months then broke up and decided to be friends. That was a bit of BS and to this day I kind of regret even trying to do that because it totally failed. I was a nice guy and almost a doormat which didnt help. But it was my first GF so I didn't really know better.

 

A couple months after the breakup she started dating someone and they're still together today. About a month after they hooked up I met someone who I'm still with. She's fun, attractive, and overall a good person. I know comparing your current GF to your ex is really bad for a relationship, but lets just say my current GF is a better and more caring human being...more like me.

 

I told her I love her, which I do, but something really bothered me before I did. A few days before I told her, I was on facebook and came accross my ex's profile. I was pretty good with avoiding seeing pics of her and we never talked since a while after the breakup, but everytime I saw her name my heart started racing and I sort of felt like the life was drained out of me. So, stupid me just had to click, I saw that she was in love with this guy and they're all happy and w/e. That's ok with me (I think). The thing that bothered me was that she was almost promoting they're love for each other, when, due to cultural reasons, she isn't even supposed to be dating. When we were together I respected that and kept it on the down low.

 

Now a couple days later me and some friends went camping (my GF stayed home). One night we all started drinking and my sister started bringing up my ex and my current GF and who I lost it to. We were all drunk so I though what the hell and started talking about it. Thing is I'm what you'd call a late bloomer... I never had sex with my ex. It was a love without sex relationship...then I guess she got bored. Me and my current GF had sex not too long after we started dating. She doesn't know that she was my first and I'm not even sure I want her to know. I was perfectly honest with my ex and it ended in heartbreak before I was ready for it to. I don't lie to my current GF, but I am a bit weiry about bringing that kind of stuff up. This fact used to bother ,e every second of every day at first but I've sort of grown with it and don't think of it that much now. Should I be informing her about this?

 

Anyways, we started talking about my current GF and how my friends like her a lot more then the last one and how the last one was a total b*tch...which she kind of was. I told my sister (aka my mentor) about the facebook incident which had come up from time to time and how it kind of put me off whenever I'd see her online. She pretty much said delete her from your life. Then I did. No talk or anything. The day I got back I did it. I deleted her and all the convos from our first date to the breakup. I felt great. Then my GF who I missed really badly came over. We hugged, we kissed, I told her I love her and she said it back. It was amazing.

 

A couple of days later, yesterday and today, I've been thinking about me deleting my ex. It was kind of our only connection with each other, whether or not we used it, and that was it (we still have each other's numbers and MSN, but never use either). I'm the kind of person that feels more comfortable when people are informed about the things I do before I do them. This is kind of clouding my judgement right now and sort of feel like I've erased a part of my past. Now I'm wondering if it was the right choice or if I should have said something to her first. Or should I just say to hell with it, let it bother me for a bit and eventually move on? Sometimes these things bother me a lot and sometimes I wonder why I even care about them.

 

So...I kind of rambled on more then expected and don't even know if any of it makes sense. If anyone can offer me some advice on anything I've mentioned that would be awesome.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I dont think you owe it to your ex to tell her why you deleted her- or even give her an option - its your page... your life... you do what you want.

 

As far as telling your current GF about you being a virgin- i dont think you owe it to her to tell her but if she asks .. don't lie.. be honest.

[hear_her_roar]

I wouldn't worry too much about deleating her... she wrote you out of her life, which means that you have the freedom to choose whether you want her in your life or not! She may get upset, but that would probably be pride speaking, not anger at you. It sounds like you did the right thing for you.

[lucky87]

I get hard headed about advice on this kind of stuff sometimes, but have found in the past that its best to take it. I think I just have to give it some time. I'm perfectly honest with my GF when she asks me stuff so, HealingHandsWarmHeart I will be taking your advice and don't plan on lying. hear_her_roar, you've brought up a good point which I've thought about and it is helping me. So thank you both for the help, I'm sure it wont be long before I stop contemplating this.