Working for my father

[Snoopy24]

I'm having a huge problem working for my father, and I would appreciate any advice or input!

 

My father is a well known artist. He had opened an art gallery for 4 years, which I ran for him. It didn't work out for several reasons, and we had to shut it down.

 

Last year he decided to promote his own fine art shows. He did 3 in total, and it turned out really well. This year he has several more, and next year double that. His income has more than tripled in a matter of months.

 

He has decided to make me his office manager. Now I started working for him a couple of months ago, and he was giving me the same amount I was making at the gallery. He told me that he would give me x amount of a salary once things got started, with health insurance etc.

 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. He owed me about 3 weeks of pay which added to a large sum of money, and all of a sudden said "I am not paying you that much" You will be getting $x and hour. (which was less than HALF of what I was making at the gallery.)

 

I didn't really make a big thing about it at the time, but it has been bothering me profusely, so I brought it up today. He got FURIOUS, saying how he pays me a decent amount of money, and he will buy me lunch, or little things here and there...and that makes up for it. I just feel he is really screwing me over. I work my ass off everyday making his money for him, and I need this job almost as much as he needs me to work, so leaving at the moment is out of the question.

 

He has a really nice apartment he rented out that is quite expensive. He renovated it, furnished it, and has been there a total of maybe ...5 times since November. He has house keeping come clean his regular house twice a week. He is buying a new house in Florida for the winter. He just bought a $4000 watch. So he is in no way shape or form having any hardship. I see how much money he makes, and it's a lot. The cost of his apartment costs twice as much as he is paying me, and he doesn't even use it! So it isn't like he can't afford to pay me what I was making or more that he promised me.

 

I understand I am not his obligation. He ASKED me to work for him. I am kind of stuck though because I do need this job. I am almost 27, and I need to be making a decent amount of money. I was planning to move out of my house this summer. If I do that now, I would be living paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to live like that.

 

I just don't know what to do I know it would be wise to find a different job, but like I said I do need this job, and if I left he would never talk to me again.

 

He constantly tells me how much he loves me and wants everything for me.

But i feel like he is being so selfish, and he is treating me like a teenager, and being SO unfair

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think he should at least pay you minimum loan or whatever he'd pay someone else to do the job.

I used to refuse to take my dad's money when I was younger but he always told me "I'd rather pay you- someone who cares for me/the business and is trustworthy then some stranger".

Maybe you can use that as an argument and tell him that the amount isn't enough to cover your expenses. Are you sure he wouldn't speak to you again? Even if you kept it as civil and polite as possible?

[waveseer]

If he needs you then you have leverage to negotiate your wages. Do not allow him to bully you just because he's your dad. Be prepared to walk out if necessary. Calmly state your case, why you deserve and expect the wages he originally promised.

[Snoopy24]

I think he should at least pay you minimum loan or whatever he'd pay someone else to do the job.

I used to refuse to take my dad's money when I was younger but he always told me "I'd rather pay you- someone who cares for me/the business and is trustworthy then some stranger".

Maybe you can use that as an argument and tell him that the amount isn't enough to cover your expenses. Are you sure he wouldn't speak to you again? Even if you kept it as civil and polite as possible?

 

Well I have no idea what he would pay someone else. Not a clue. But looking at him as my employer and not my father for a minute. ..how can he pay me X amount for 4 years. ..and then all of a sudden cut that in half. I feel he is being so wrong.

 

My dad is extremely stubborn. If I just left I am pretty sure he would cut me out of his life. He doesn't speak with his family because of little things they did or said. I don't exactly feel trapped. I DO want to work for him, but I want him to give me a fair amount of pay that I deserve, you know? I just don't know how to go about it.

[Snoopy24]

If he needs you then you have leverage to negotiate your wages. Do not allow him to bully you just because he's your dad. Be prepared to walk out if necessary. Calmly state your case, why you deserve and expect the wages he originally promised.

 

Well the thing is I am..well was up until now also receiving unemployment. So he also said since I am getting that money he doesn't need to pay me as much. He knows that it is up now, and when I mentioned my pay today, he barley let me speak. He just got MAD

 

I seriously do SO much. Setting up several shows with two people is A LOT of work. ..and I can honestly say I do 60% of it.

 

The problem is with him, if he doesnt like or agree with what someone has to say he talks over you, and fights.

 

So it is really hard getting my point accross.

[waveseer]

Well the thing is I am..well was up until now also receiving unemployment. So he also said since I am getting that money he doesn't need to pay me as much. He knows that it is up now, and when I mentioned my pay today, he barley let me speak. He just got MAD

 

I seriously do SO much. Setting up several shows with two people is A LOT of work. ..and I can honestly say I do 60% of it.

 

The problem is with him, if he doesnt like or agree with what someone has to say he talks over you, and fights.

 

So it is really hard getting my point accross.

 

Can you make better money elsewhere? He sounds like a pain to work for.

[Snoopy24]

Can you make better money elsewhere? He sounds like a pain to work for.

 

He is a pain to work for..without a doubt, but no. Unfortunately at this time this is it. I could probably find a job making the same amount I am now. But all that would do is upset him, so I do need this job. I just need him to work with me on my pay.

[greensleeves]

You have to remember that what he was paying you for four years was for a different job. I'm not saying that what he's done is fair, but it probably wouldn't be wise to use that as a reason for him to pay you more money.

 

Maybe you could do some research to find out what other people doing a similar job in your area/city are being paid. Gather as many facts as you can and when you speak to him treat it as a professional employee/employer relationship...not as father/daughter. If you were asking another employer for a raise, you wouldn't bring up how much they spent for a watch or their apartment. Approach it based on your skills and what you bring to the table. If you treat it this way, he'll be less likely to never speak to you again if things don't work out. And if he does choose to go that route, there's very little you can do about it...you can't base your career decisions on something like that and you need to do what's best for your life. He shouldn't expect you to work for peanuts just because you're family, and you shouldn't expect him to pay you more than you're worth for the same reasons. (I'm not saying that you expect that from him, just making the comparison.) It's to his advantage to keep you...you're a trusted and reliable employee.

 

He seems to be doing what alot of employers are doing in this economy. Cutting pay and benefits because they can and not necessarily because they need to...they know people are thankful to have any job at the moment.

[waveseer]

My answer was wrong.

[Snoopy24]

Well the thing is when i started working for him at this job he payed me the same amount as the gallery, and he told me I will be making x amount of money. And that amount is certainly not the amount I am getting.

 

He did bring that up today when I mentioned it stating you never bring up how much money your employer makes. i would never do that with anyone else, but as my dad I felt it was ok to prove my point. Even though he is making a lot of money, I don't expect a certain % of it or anything. I just want what I was promised, and enough to help me move out of my house.

 

It is just him and myself running this whole business at the moment. He wouldnt be able to do it without me. He is the most unorganized person I know, and I have everything done for him.

 

That is a good idea. Maybe I will find online how much I should be making and print it out to show him. Thank you

[greensleeves]

Actually, asking him for a percentage of the business might not be a bad idea. It's something that you could consider when you're negotiating with him.