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Success... but still the rudeness... rant


servedcold

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TikTok Advice For Relationships Suc...
TikTok Advice For Relationships Sucks

Recently returned to internet dating. Going very well so far, good response rate to emails, interesting phone calls, dates set.

 

This time tried a bit of a social experiment though. In addition to asking women to use the "not interested" button in my profile if they aren't interested, I am asking them politely, and in a humorous way, to use the "not interested" button in my intro Email... clearly and directly, so that there can be no mistaking this simple request.

 

How many women are polite enough to do this very simple thing? 0, as in not a single one, out of about 10 who haven't replied to an initial, personalized email. I'm sick of this rude, privileged attitude that women have online.

 

There is no justification for it whatsoever. Using the button is ONE single mouse click. The site is anonymous, so there are no safety issues. I don't care how many emails she is getting, there is no reason not to use this feature, especially when asked. It is plain and simple rudeness and privileged principessa attitude.

 

Ladies, have some class, have some basic level of character. If you sign up and pay for a dating site, you are presumably there to correspond with, and meet new people. If a man sends you a thoughtful email, responsive to your profile, muster up the very basic level of human courtesy, hard and perilous though it may be, to click your mouse one single time, and let him know you aren't interested ESPECIALLY if he asks you to do so in a polite way.

 

Rant done.

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well you come accross as quite bitter a lot of the time on this site anyway.

 

it's nothing to get worked up about though... so what.. you'll never meet them anyway, if they don't act according to their wishes then don't contact them!

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well you come accross as quite bitter a lot of the time on this site anyway.

 

it's nothing to get worked up about though... so what.. you'll never meet them anyway, if they don't act according to their wishes then don't contact them!

 

case... in... point

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Um, I paid for link removed and I wanted to see how it worked so I politely declined myself and I never received ANYTHING. I tried denying myself both in a wink and in an email. Nothing.

 

So I don't think those buttons actually work if you do use them.

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I think what's rude is that you're mad at the them.

 

I've been on a lot of sites where guys have randomly PMed me and I either didn't bother reading it or I just didn't think a thing about it.

 

You have to realize that in internet dating, men usually dominate the women.

 

So for every women on there, there's about 10 other guys hitting on her besides you. So you really have to give her something to go on so that she either a.) replies or b.) actually opens the email.

 

It doesn't make them rude.

I personally probably wouldn't reply or hit the button. I'd just let it go, that's what most women are going to do.

 

Maybe spice up for emails a little bit and don't actually ASK them to hit the button because then they're going to just assume you get denied A LOT.

 

But whatever, I doubt with that attitude anyone would really reply anyway.

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They work, when you press the button, you have an option of typing in an explanation. Since I always use this feature, sometimes I get nice responses from women thanking me for the honesty. Usually it's a matter of already dating several people on the site and not wanting to be a serial dater.

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All I'm saying is that it MIGHT come accross as a bit demanding (although it's not really) over something that many may seem as so trivial.

 

No, what you did is make a typically "privileged" type of rationalization by trying to turn the blame back on me and my supposed "bitterness" instead of adding any useful comments or advice.

 

Now, also typically, you discount something that may not matter to you, but matters to me, as "trivial." This is one of very few threads I've started here in two years...

 

It's that exact type of privileged attitude that I'm talking about.

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I think what's rude is that you're mad at the them.

 

I've been on a lot of sites where guys have randomly PMed me and I either didn't bother reading it or I just didn't think a thing about it.

 

Where did I say a thing about "PMs?" Nowhere.

 

You have to realize that in internet dating, men usually dominate the women.

 

So for every women on there, there's about 10 other guys hitting on her besides you. So you really have to give her something to go on so that she either a.) replies or b.) actually opens the email.

 

Completely irrelevant. All mails are opened and read because I pay for that feature, and once again, these are polite introductory emails, not form letters, which the women are PAYING to receive.

 

that's what most women are going to do.

 

Exactly, hence the rant.

 

Maybe spice up for emails a little bit and don't actually ASK them to hit the button because then they're going to just assume you get denied A LOT.

 

But whatever, I doubt with that attitude anyone would really reply anyway.

 

Once again, reading comprehension for the win. I am very, very good at internet dating, and have gotten five phone numbers (so far) from the 20 women I have written, and have set dates (so far) with two of those.

 

Nice try, and again completely typical of the privileged attitude I am describing, at trying to turn this back on some fault of mine. Yes, I have many faults, no, being bad at internet dating is not one of them.

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I'm not sure what "advice" we can give you. Some people (of both genders) are going to be rude and not respond even to really great introductory e-mails, and those same people are likely to also ignore direct requests to click "not interested". It is definitely frustrating--I know the feeling of having taken time to craft a witty, engaging message and then getting nothing at all in response. But since you're actually having a lot of success on the site overall (five phone numbers out of 20 contacts is great!), maybe you should try to focus on your successes and less on the frustrating aspects of the process...

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No, what you did is make a typically "privileged" type of rationalization by trying to turn the blame back on me and my supposed "bitterness" instead of adding any useful comments or advice.

 

Now, also typically, you discount something that may not matter to you, but matters to me, as "trivial." This is one of very few threads I've started here in two years...

 

It's that exact type of privileged attitude that I'm talking about.

 

No, there is no privilege here...

 

Hey, you posted here, i'm just saying what I see.

 

And with that attitude, no wonder.

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I'm not sure what "advice" we can give you. Some people (of both genders) are going to be rude and not respond even to really great introductory e-mails, and those same people are likely to also ignore direct requests to click "not interested". It is definitely frustrating--I know the feeling of having taken time to craft a witty, engaging message and then getting nothing at all in response. But since you're actually having a lot of success on the site overall (five phone numbers out of 20 contacts is great!), maybe you should try to focus on your successes and less on the frustrating aspects of the process...

 

Thank you, and I am actually quite happy with the response generally so far this goround. Am ranting because it is ridiculous that not one single woman will comply with a simple, polite, respectful, direct request as part of a custom email to use a feature that is put on the site for a reason... not a single one. If a single one of these women had the common, basic courtesy to do this, this rant would not be here.

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Would love to hear some thoughtful advice on this topic. Haven't heard any so far.

 

I've given you my advice on it. You just want to hear a response that agrees with you.

 

Why start a post if you are just going to critisize those that respond?

 

Same with the girls on that dating site who are 'not doing as they are told'

 

You sound like a parent talking to a 3 year old, "now, son, please do as I say"

 

You may not like it, but that's how it comes accross. you want advice right? I suspect you want it to be a more positive experience, but you aren't exactly sending out very positive vibes by doing that.

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Thank you, and I am actually quite happy with the response generally so far this goround. Am ranting because it is ridiculous that not one single woman will comply with a simple, polite, respectful, direct request as part of a custom email to use a feature that is put on the site for a reason... not a single one. If a single one of these women had the common, basic courtesy to do this, this rant would not be here.

 

I think the problem is with your 'request'. It puts people off. it won't make any difference for those that DO want to date you. why bother with the ones that don't? They aren't obliged to do anything to you/ for you.

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Did you see my original message to you. I used this site. I declined myself by wink and email and I never received anything. AKA I don't think those buttons work. I tested it out because I wanted to see how they delivered it- they don't.

 

I replied to you, and have successfully used those buttons myself, as I sometimes end up with too many prospects, and don't want to be a serial dater, among other reasons, and sometimes get replies from women thanking me for letting them know.

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