I think I like my bestfriend.. What do I do?

[Carloo]

So.. for a few months now, I've started to think that maybe there could be something there between me and my best friend. I tell her everything and she does the same. Shes been there to help talk me through all my hard times and heartbreaks, without complaining. We met eachother a few years ago, and we got really close. Shes really close with my family, and I'm really close with hers. A lot of people already think we're going out, others say we make a really good couple. I know that I'm going to have to think long and hard about this one. Shes been with me through every girl I've been with for the past 2 years, and it's like only now that I realized what I could potentially have right in front of me. The fact that our families are really close is what makes me want to not persue what could "be", but at the same time, if things work out, it only makes things that much easier. When I started to think about the possibility of her and I being together, it was kinda just an after thought, but after I spent the whole weekend with her, the feelings are really starting to sink in. Ever since that day, we've been a lot closer and are definitely talking A LOT more now. We talk a lot over the phone, and we text eachother non stop. I've come to terms with the fact that, yes, she IS my bestfriend and that I pretty much have feelings for her.. What do I do?

[Xylitol]

Red flag, what starts out as friend needs to stay as friend, everything above >1 year is a no go area. The problem is that you should realise that you can't have a woman as a 'best friend', nature will take over and you'll fall in love. Or in other words, trouble ahead. Most likely you'll try to have an affair with her, which will fail dramatically and she'll be out of your life, and that's not me saying that but v.s life experience from the rest of people like you who tried the same thing.

[SylviaD]

Red flag, what starts out as friend needs to stay as friend, everything above >1 year is a no go area. The problem is that you should realise that you can't have a woman as a 'best friend', nature will take over and you'll fall in love. Or in other words, trouble ahead. Most likely you'll try to have an affair with her, which will fail dramatically and she'll be out of your life, and that's not me saying that but v.s life experience from the rest of people like you who tried the same thing.

 

Thats absolute BS! Many people have best friends who are the other gender. I have several close male friends and "nature" hasn't "taken over". What does that even mean?

[Carloo]

I don't necessarily think that it's a "red flag". I think that the trust and comfort that are already there are what make it so appealing since those are the most important parts in any relationship.

[blueeyedme]

I don't think it's a 'Red Flag' at all... who better than your best friend? The best relationships have a strong friendship as the foundation. My advice, take it slow and see how it develops... don't be afraid to tell her that you have feelings for her beyond friendship. If she is indeed your best friend, you should at least be able to have a conversation about this and not hurt the relationship. I am in a similar situation as I adore my best friend very much - but she is currently unavailable for a relationship and I respect that... we're still best friends. -Good Luck!

[velvette]

I am dating my best friend and couldn't be happier.

best of luck! sounds like the beginning of a sweet story.

[dan10]

ok so both sides of this have been pointed out from just going for it to stay the heck away from a relationship.

 

the reality is that noone can tell you what to do. we can tell you what the risks are.. and what we think you should do but the decision is ultimately yours.

 

yes it could ruin things horribly and you could lose your best friend forever. and yes it could be an amazing relationship and you 2 could get married and live happily ever after.

 

my thoughts on this are that u should sit down with her and talk it out. since she's ur best friend she shouldnt be to hard on you. and she may have feelings back. i dont know if this will happen to you... but for people like me... if we have feelings for someone and dont get a chance it only increases the feelings and makes it hurt more if the person goes out with someone else. on the flip side there are people who will be comforted knowing that it probably wouldnt work and they saved a friend by not trying.

 

the option is really for you and her to make together seeing as she would be the other half of the relationship if there was one. but if i was in your place i'd have a talk with her, let her know that you want to try and take it past just friends, but you want to make sure that u 2 go slow and dont hate each other if it doesnt work out.

 

but whichever way you decide to go... think positive thoughts. i heard about a lady who won 112 million dollars because of positive thinking. so think happy thoughts.