Jump to content

How to get my gf to want sex again


BoddenProBowler06

Recommended Posts

At the beginning of our relationship sex was great. We used to do it at least 4-5 times a week, and she was always so into it. She even initiated it.

 

Now about 6 months into our relationship, she always just lays down on top of me and falls asleep. Any time I mention I'm horny she's either sleeping, tired, or not in the mood. Last night I was rubbing her butt and started going lower to her vagina but she told me to stop because it tickles. So that killed the mood obviously.

 

What can I do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps you need to appreciate her mind more and then stimulate it. Get sexy is my tip. Win her mind heart then go for it.

Firstly ask her why...maybe she has a fatigue problem or mental problem..?

 

We tell each other "I love you" every day multiple times. She adores me. This is just the one thing that's been lacking because I'm always horny.

 

I thought she was in the mood last night. We were both laughing and she was really happy. When I started rubbing her butt she kept moving her legs around like she wanted me to go down on her, but then when I attempted it she rejected me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i really have to ask this. is she losing interest in you?

or is she suffering from stress?

 

imho you have to tap into why she is losing interest, you need to sort it as it will have

an adverse effect on your relationship!

 

hope this helps....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought she was in the mood last night. We were both laughing and she was really happy. When I started rubbing her butt she kept moving her legs around like she wanted me to go down on her, but then when I attempted it she rejected me.

 

 

 

 

!!!! OUCH!!!!she needs to grow up and see what she is doing to you, hurting someones feelings is no game, esp if its to do with a sexual nature. you must feel real hurt, well dont be, she is the one with the problem, not you!

 

you need to confront and dont hide under the duvet!

 

your making the first step by coming on here, so go one further, confront her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i really have to ask this. is she losing interest in you?

or is she suffering from stress?

 

imho you have to tap into why she is losing interest, you need to sort it as it will have

an adverse effect on your relationship!

 

hope this helps....

 

I don't think she's losing interest. Things have slowed down quite a bit with us being physical, but everything else seems to be going okay. I think we're just done with the honeymoon period (6 months in) and we're seeing sides of ourselves that we haven't yet.

 

She has been stressing out a lot lately, but back a couple months ago she'd relieve her stress by having sex. Now she just wants to sleep and cuddle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

!!!! OUCH!!!!she needs to grow up and see what she is doing to you, hurting someones feelings is no game, esp if its to do with a sexual nature. you must feel real hurt, well dont be, she is the one with the problem, not you!

 

you need to confront and dont hide under the duvet!

 

your making the first step by coming on here, so go one further, confront her.

 

I remember one time I actually did confront her, told her I've been really horny lately, and she came back with "that sucks" and laid down. That really, really upset me.

 

That kind of makes me reluctant to even deal with it anymore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well you can roll over and bury your head in the sand with this for fear of more rejection, thats understandble! but understandble wont resolve any issues that are creeping in. you must sort this before you both get into the comfy slipper syndrome!

 

a problem shared is a problem halved! take her for dinner or something to that effect, and talk with her, not at or down to her, and you may be surprised, if you get rejection then you need to let her know this. its not fair that the engines running but the gears wont engage.........capiche????..........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would definitely talk to her. Nicely. Don't accuse her of anything. Use "I" statements. Tell her you've noticed that she doesn't seem interested in sex lately. See how she responds. Say you've noticed that she's been stressed, and does that have something to do with it? Ask if there's anything you can do to help...draw a hot bath, a back rub, a day away, etc. Ask her if there's anything else wrong. Ask her what you can do to get her desire back.

 

Tell her you see sex as a joy of life, and a stress reducer. You were assuming that your frequency would drop after the "honeymoon" period, but the current level isn't working for you. If she's still into you, she will want to make you happy. If she tries to ignore it, or starts blaming you for everything, tell her you're willing to walk because of it.

 

Bottom line is you don't have to stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy and with a partner who's not willing to support you and your needs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:shakes head: You cannot logic a woman into attraction or being horny. Just not gonna happen. You can have all the talks you want about how she should do this and how you will do that. It's not going to make a lick of difference. Animal attraction is outside the realm of cognitive thinking and being logical about it solves nothing. Here's my main thoughts:

 

A) The honeymoon phase has ended. Not much you can do about that since the newness has worn off.

 

B) Absence makes the heart grow fonder so stop being so available. Have plans with friends. Do things without her. Start meeting new people and don't be afraid to show her you're a catch and in demand. When she feels those pangs of loss and jealousy suddenly she'll begin initiating things and chasing again. It's human behavior 101.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:shakes head: You cannot logic a woman into attraction or being horny. Just not gonna happen. You can have all the talks you want about how she should do this and how you will do that. It's not going to make a lick of difference. Animal attraction is outside the realm of cognitive thinking and being logical about it solves nothing. Here's my main thoughts:

 

A) The honeymoon phase has ended. Not much you can do about that since the newness has worn off.

 

B) Absence makes the heart grow fonder so stop being so available. Have plans with friends. Do things without her. Start meeting new people and don't be afraid to show her you're a catch and in demand. When she feels those pangs of loss and jealousy suddenly she'll begin initiating things and chasing again. It's human behavior 101.

 

this is what i call outside the box thinking, yes i do agree to a degree.

can this theory apply to those who have split say for 5 months or so?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:shakes head: You cannot logic a woman into attraction or being horny. Just not gonna happen. You can have all the talks you want about how she should do this and how you will do that. It's not going to make a lick of difference. Animal attraction is outside the realm of cognitive thinking and being logical about it solves nothing. Here's my main thoughts:

 

A) The honeymoon phase has ended. Not much you can do about that since the newness has worn off.

 

B) Absence makes the heart grow fonder so stop being so available. Have plans with friends. Do things without her. Start meeting new people and don't be afraid to show her you're a catch and in demand. When she feels those pangs of loss and jealousy suddenly she'll begin initiating things and chasing again. It's human behavior 101.

 

I totally agree with A. And I've used B on several occasions. There's nothing like going out somewhere and having your SO watch another women hit on you (you politely decline, of course). Your SO will immediately start hanging on you and claiming her "territory." And later, she'll want to make sure you're, uh, satisfied with what you have. Women are very competitive.

 

In any good relationship, both people should want to make the other person happy. That's why I suggested having a real, sit down talk with her. If you approach her and she says "that sucks," that doesn't bode well for your position in the relationship.

 

And okay, I'll say it - I feel that sex, just like doing the dishes, laundry and any other "chore," is something people do on occasion (men and women both) to make their partner happy. People sometimes need to put aside their bad day, headache, whatever, and do something they would rather not do...you never know, this "chore" may turn out to be a win-win.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this is what i call outside the box thinking, yes i do agree to a degree.

can this theory apply to those who have split say for 5 months or so?

 

ABSOLUTELY! An ex just came crawling back after 5 months when she realized I "won". Apparently when you break up there's a race to see who can date others first. We had a funny talk about it and I suppose it's an ego thing. Essentially what's at the heart of it is my being in demand by other women proved my value in a sense. That made her curious and she got in touch. There's also an element of link removed at play in all this. Actually, link removed. Prince Charming was a master "player" in a sense. Guys that have lots of options and can pick the creme of the crop of women are extremely desirable. Think about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In addition to my post above, something else occurred to me. She's just not attracted to you anymore, at least not enough to want to have sex with you regularly. If she was mega attracted she wouldn't keep her hands off you. Give this a listen to for a far better explanation. I've got to get to work, but this really nails down the points I'm trying to convey:

 

link removed

link removed

 

It's been up and down a bunch lately, so you may need to check back to see if the link is active.

 

EDIT

Had a local copy of these GREAT shows and uploaded them here until the links above comes back online:

 

link removed

 

link removed

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Stop her house-keeping money until she has sex with you again. Seriously though have you two talked about this...maybe she feels taken for granted by you which is a huge turn-off for women. Or maybe the sex just is not good enough for her and she is not coming back to you for more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...