joeBOI Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I am meeting up with my ex for the first time since we broke up two months ago. Is there any tips out there for how i should act, what i should say? Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I am meeting up with my ex for the first time since we broke up two months ago. Is there any tips out there for how i should act, what i should say? my tip would be to not go. but since you will...just talk to her like you'd talk to a friend...and ask questions about her rather then talk about yourself. Link to comment
sfits Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 i met my ex the other day after 2 months and i was cool and calm but then after she left i was back to being sad again it will really hurt you if you still have feelings for her.i wish i never met up with her now i may have runined my chances of us getting back together as she thinks we are friends now but i sill want to be more than friends Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Why are you meeting? Exactly. How'd the meeting come about? Link to comment
becca0194 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I am with these guys...what is the purpose of this meeting? Unless it is because she has expressed she would like to start working on getting back together and working through whatever issues broke you up, DON'T GO !! It will cause you nothing but pain. Link to comment
joeBOI Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Yeah i am now starting to have doubts about going. Probs just end up making a last minute decision about whether or not to go! Link to comment
justletgo07 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Yeah i am now starting to have doubts about going. Probs just end up making a last minute decision about whether or not to go! But why are you meeting? How did the meet up come about? Who suggested it? Link to comment
Mutley Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Stand him/her up!! Get the last laugh!!! Unless, they are doing the samething. Link to comment
joeBOI Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Haha lol. I will make sure to let you all know what i do decide to do in the end. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 But why are you meeting? How did the meet up come about? Who suggested it? I don't understand why we can't seem to get an answer to this perfectly reasonable question. Link to comment
joeBOI Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Sorry didnt see it. She suggested it, and her reason for it was so that we could catch up. And i do not have a clue how it came about, it just cropped up during conversation. Link to comment
justletgo07 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Sorry didnt see it. She suggested it, and her reason for it was so that we could catch up. And i do not have a clue how it came about, it just cropped up during conversation. How are you feeling about everything? Are you still hurting pretty bad, or are you feeling pretty level-headed at this point? If she suggested it, and you're feeling up to it, then I would go. Just be sure that you go with absolutely no expectations. Don't go hoping for reconciliation, and in fact, try not to even think about it. Just go with the flow, and let her guide the conversation. Steer clear of any talk of the relationship. If she brings it up, listen to what she has to say, validate her feelings on things, answer her questions, and try to brush off any criticisms or negative remarks with a touch of humor. I would also set a time limit on the encounter, maybe 30-45 minutes. Go ahead and plan on it, and stick to it. Plan something to do immediately after you meet so that you have a legitimate reason to leave. Keep the visit short, light, and enjoyable. Good luck! Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 OK, now that we have a little background ... Do you want to see her? Are you ready to see her? If not, then don't go. But if you are, heed the standard advice: 1. Be casual and funny, not deep. 2. Do not bring up the relationship unless she does, and even if she does, let her lead the conversation. 3. Be prepared for what she may want to tell you. It could range from "I think we should try again" to "I'm dating someone else, but I still want you as a friend." Link to comment
joeBOI Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Thanks for the advice guys. I do think i am ready to see her, im not desperate to see her but i think it would be nice too see how she is doing and what she has been up too. I will definitely keep the time limit in mind. And i have fortunately lost all expectations when it comes to the ex. I do still miss her alot, and think about her alot but i have come to terms with the fact that we may not get back together. This shall be the first time i have seen her in person since we broke up, so it should be interesting to say the least! Link to comment
haliburton Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I'll tell you about my meet-up earlier this week. Use it as a cautionary tale. So we meet-up. And we do the small talk thing. Catch up. Hear about her BF. Awesome. Then somehow it gets to relationship talk. She admits her old feelings for me are still the same - but it would never work out. I say that's unfortunate. She says it's unfortunate on both ends. So that's basically my closure. Better than I had before, and I will move on from it. I extend the evening on longer than it should go, because I don't want to let go. Her BF calls. She gets off the phone. I tell her he's free to come out. She says it's not the right venue given the conversation - smart girl (she was right). So we end the night. I call her briefly in the AM (there is a small window of oppt'y after such a meeting where you can do this as it's almost like you're back). Small talk. Tell her to have a good day. Take off the next day via plane. Before hand, I text her it was good to see her. At the layover - still no response (and I'm obsessing). By the time I land home, I have a response. Agreement in the text, and the question - are you back yet? (I don't understand this, but whatever). I (like a dope respond to a direct question) said "yup, on my way to work"..... Radio silence since. I shouldn't have met Link to comment
joeBOI Posted May 22, 2009 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Sorry to hear about that. I know it may not be wise too meet her, but i cannot help but think maybe it might help me. Since the break up i have put alot of effort into myself, and i look alot better physically. She has even complimented me on this after seeing pictures of me on FB. And it took me awhile but i finally got my confidence back what she robbed off of me. I just feel that i will have alot more of a clear picture once i meet her. So i think it will be a gamble i have to take Link to comment
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