Selfish! Should I end it?

[player678]

Hi everyone, I've been reading and doing a tiny bit of posting but I would really like your opinion on this please.

 

Been in a relationship for 2 and a half years, we don't live together, are very busy, I have 3 children aged between 10 and 14 (this becomes important later) and he has two grown up children 25 and 21 living with their mum/at university.

 

I have to go on a training course (for my second job, because I need the money) at the other end of the country tomorrow - I will be staying overnight Thursday and Friday and back late on Saturday (no choice on this). This has been planned for about 8 months and he said he will look after my kids for me (meaning take them where they need to go, spend some time with them and obviously stay over at my place).

 

He has a terrible memory, and keeps forgetting about this. When I reminded him it was this weekend, he turned around and said his grown up children were in the area for a music festival ALL weekend AND he was going to take them out to dinner on Friday (what about my kids - they would have no one looking after them until he got back, dropped his own off then came to my house to stay over).

 

On the Saturday he says he'll be 'in the town' with his children all evening after he has dropped my kids off at my house after their day time activities.

 

Do people think this is reasonable of him?

 

I'm meeting him tonight for something else and want to put this in a non-aggressive way even though I'm really angry that he would neglect my much younger children when he can go out with his own any time. They sponge off him and he always takes THEM out to dinner, but never me - we just stay in and eat.

 

I know it's great to see your kids but on this particular weekend surely he could make an exception, just until I get back anyway? He still has the whole Sunday and Monday to spend with them.

 

I'm really upset about this and don't know what to say or do. I can't cancel my training as I need the money, I feel l like ending it with him.

 

Please help guys, what do I say to him and do I dump him (when he gets back!)?

[watergirl]

I think you know the answer. You've been with him 2 1/2 years and he can't see clear to handle your kids when something important to you comes up?

 

Line up somebody to watch your kids (anyone--a friend, your mom, anyone--and return the favor to them later) and then dump the guy. And don't fall for his BS when he comes back and tries to apologize.

 

I get the feeling this is a pattern with him?

[jenny_mcs]

I just read your other thread, and 2 things stuck out to me. 1) You mentioned that your oldest daughter can be difficult and he does not get along with her and 2) he is very passive.

 

I have a feeling what happened is that when you asked him to watch your kids, he did not want or know how to say no, so he conveniently "forgot."

 

It puts you in a real bind, and I would be very upset. If after 2 years you can't count on someone to do what they say, it is time to re-evaluate the situation.

[player678]

Thanks for replying guys, that really helped me get some perspective.

 

I met up with him tonight and after he'd thought about it, he's given up both his evenings/nights to look after my kids - I was all fired up ready to have a go at him and he hits me with that first - defused!

 

I'm gonna see how it goes at the weekend then make a judgement - thanks again x