break in communication or break up

[newlife24]

I have been dating this guy for a year and things were going well. I have been spending alot of time with his family, including a family dinner for his sisters birthday this last saturday. I had asked him to go to my sisters graduation that following day because he still hasnt met my family more than once. He claims he has major social anxiety and that his last gfs parents disliked him. He has told me that he does better in smaller settings but I really wanted him to meet all 6 of my family members.

So we went and he didnt seemed thrilled at all and made little effort to talk to my brothers. Granted, I know he is super shy in most settings and it is hard for him. But I really wanted some type of effort.

Anyway, I dont know if its his addiction to pot or his shyness but he was especially introverted that day.

The four of us were bored anyway because the graduation seating was awful and we ended up in another building watching it all on a big screen.

Needless to say we were all restless and bored.

But as I decided to leave, my bf said to me "I just dont understand why you wanted me to go so badly"

I FLIPPED OUT! I mean come on! My sister was graduating with her bachelors degree and it was a big deal. Not only that but I wanted him to meet my family finally. But after his lack of effort, I decided we were going to leave.

So as we were leaving, he said to me "well you kinda dragged me here, and now youre dragging me home?"

I began to cry and explained to him that this was the first thing in a year I had asked him to come to and he had complained about it.

So, in front of my brothers, I drove him to his house which was 20 mins away.

I had snapped! I felt like this was so important to me and the last thing he should have done was complain.

So he got out of the car and I drove away.

We haven't talked since and I sent him a text today telling him I was sorry for the way I acted.

So now Im not sure where we stand. I mean, isn't it only fair to have "the breakup talk" I mean, how else do you have closure???

Or do guys think differently about all of this?

We were doing fine up until this point and Im so sad I could just die.

Please help

[loulee]

Seems to me that meeting your family is not the only problem in this relationship i would of expected this to happen many months ago. Why do you feel bad..sure he might be shy so his lack of effort may have been just this..but its almost a year! you have spent time with his family its about time he met yours. I would not have sent him that text you admitted guilt..I would not worry too much I doubt this relationship is over..let him cool his heals he will come around...dont text again..be patient....this will blow over....And you should not have to explain why you wanted him there..how has this been avoided to date?(meeting the family)...maybe you have over reacted on the night however you have apologised..I would of phoned personally a text apology is pretty weak..regardless..If you feel you cannot accommodate your boyfriends shyness or it is going to embarrass you in the future then you need to have a think about this...you will have your opportunity to talk with him..so stop worrying Im sure you will hear from him...

[newlife24]

thank you. i appreciate your comments. the avoidance of family was mostly on my part due to my embarassment of my mom. i know the text was weak and everyone wanted me to call but im afraid he wont answer hopefully everything will be ok. one fight shouldnt mean the end of things

[SamiJayne]

After reading your post, I felt like you have no consideration or respect for your boyfriend. And I got the feeling that your embarrassed by his shyness.

 

Why are you even dating him?

 

In my current relationship, my partner was fantastic. He let me meet his brothers first, and then his parents. And eventually I met his best friends. I am an incredibly shy person, so I found even meeting them seperately hard. I don't know how I would have delt with meeting them all together.

 

I really feel sorry for you boyfriend.

 

It was really your fault the situation ended the way it did. You were the one embarrassed by your mother, so you didn't introduce him to your family. So how did you expect him to act? Did you want him to change who he was?

 

I can't believe you embarrassed him in front of your brothers as well, dragging him of home like a naughty child =/

 

I respect my partner to much to even think of doing anything that would embarrass him, in public. No matter what he did, I'd never do that. Maybe thats just me though.

[newlife24]

i get what youre saying. I guess i just didnt understand the extent of his shyness. I know what I did was wrong, but I was so hurt and I didnt want him to stick around complaining while I was upset about my sisters tacky graduation. I know I put him in a bad spot, but honestly, I was having a rough day too