I just want to be over her

[dbc115]

Ok, so here is my problem. I dated this girl for almost a year and then got engaged to her. Everything was fine until the summer of last year. Long in a short she met this guy on the interstate while we were dating. We broke up off and on a few times before we started getting close. She was really difficult to deal with at the times when we were breaking up and the rough parts of the relationship. After all that though she came around and was great, or what I considered great compared to the way it was. She started getting close to my family, but never would come around my friends. In the time we were together I spoke to her dad once. I spoke to her mom a good bit but I still think it is so messed up that I only spoke to her dad once. So I proposed to her and we were engaged. Before we got engaged I told her I wanted to speak with her mom and dad and get their permission. She told me that her dad was never home and that her mom approved, therefore I did not need to speak with either of them. We were engaged for three months. Two of those months I was not at home with her, only on weekends due to my job. I COULD NOT STAND HER FRIENDS, especially one in particular. I have a serious job and a mature job, and I am around adults, which is what adults do. She told me that she did not want to be around my friends because they are all older. The way she acted around her friends was very immature and almost retarded. When she was around me she acted fine, unless she was around us both at the same time. The summer of our engagement, she told me that she wanted to take a break. She said that she was having second thoughts about the engagement and she wanted to clear her mind and possibly help out our engagement. I offered relationship counseling and she refused without a single thought. We started this weeklong break on a Wednesday. She told me that on Sunday she would call me and we would meet up again and get everything out on the table. Two days into the break (which I could only speak to her at night, never during the day) she told me that she was going to the place where the guy lived that she met on the interstate. She did not mention that she was going to see him at first, she wanted to hide that from me. So I dug and dug until she confessed. She told me that she has always thought about him the whole time we were together. She said that she wanted to go out with him and see if it worked, because she may not get that chance again. She said that she would call me on Sunday and let me know if she wanted to be with me or not. Like an idiot, I waited around on her for a week. I couldn't eat, sleep, and the thought of it literally made me sick at my stomach. After the week, she called me on Saturda and told me that she had kissed him. She said she liked it she wanted me to come pick up my belongings along with the engagement ring the next day. She told me that I was too good to her and she wanted a "bad boy". She said that he was hott and I was baby cute. She joked about having sex with him and not knowing if it was mine or his. All these things deeply upset me and destroyed my confidence. I picked up my things the next day and said my final goodbyes. I picked up the pieces and went on with my life the best I could. The whole time it was so hard because she was always texting or calling me (trying to keep me on a string in case her fling failed). I found some things in my life that were very pleasing to me and made me proud after that. I went on vacation and felt good, only she was still on my mind. I was not over her by a long shot. She called me one night in tears and told me she wanted me back. She told me that she didn't know what she really had until she lost it. Like an idiot, I listened to her and tried to make it work again. After 3 months, it did not work. We never got back together because she always came up with an excuse on why we couldn't. She said that she thought she may be pregnant by her ex and she did not want to face the truth of whos baby it was if we had sex. She said that she didn't want to hurt me again if she was pregnant by him. I finally told her I was tired of it and I was moving on. She found her a new boyfriend and is with him now. I tried texting her to be friendly since she was such a big part of my life and one point, but she told her boyfriend and he got jealous and mad and started texting me. I let some time pass and I once again tried to just be friendly to her and say hello. Once again she told her boyfriend and he told me he wanted me to leave her alone. Her friend in which I despise also texted me and told me this. I did absolutely nothing wrong to this girl. I was always sooooo good to her. I treated her with respect, was good to her family, bought her a puppy (in which I miss), and anything else she wanted. I said all this to say this. Here it is going on a year since the breakup and 6 months after the reconciliation, and she is still on my mind. I just want her out of my mind. I think about good times sometimes but i'm always reminded of the countless number of crazy and messed up things she did along the way (there are plenty more than what I mentioned). I just want to put her behind me. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her or dream about her. I love my life and I live it to the fullest, but she is in the back of my mind all the time. I have came to the conclusion that she is not a good person at all. I compare every girl I come in contact with to her, (physically). I wanted to get all this off my chest and get some outside views on it. These are all things that really happened and none of it is made up. I never abused her or made her feel like anything less than the girl I loved. Why are people like this? What would possess someone to do these kind of things? And how freakin' long is it gonna take to get her off my mind? Please help. Thanks

[Vince99]

dude...mix in your enter key once or twice.

[waveseer]

I read it all, I admit it. Have you ceased all contact with her both direct and indirect?

[dbc115]

I don't talk to her at all in any kind of way anymore. I have moved on with my life. Her new boyfriend keeps sending me friend requests on myspace and trying to be cute. I can't stand him and I hope he knows his girlfriend is going to screw him over just like she did me.

[waveseer]

I don't talk to her at all in any kind of way anymore. I have moved on with my life. Her new boyfriend keeps sending me friend requests on myspace and trying to be cute. I can't stand him and I hope he knows his girlfriend is going to screw him over just like she did me.

 

Is there a way to block his requests? If you have to maybe it would be best to stay away from myspace entirely for a while.

 

Put away anything that reminds you too much of her.

 

Find other things to fill your time, preferable things you are really interested in.

 

Make new goals for yourself, plan and execute them.

 

Be with friends, socialize.

 

Learn to meditate and clear your thoughts.

 

That's all I can think of right now.

[loulee]

This girl was clearly not your intellectual equal..For everything she has done it all boils down to the one thing and you literally said it yourself she is grossly immature. At no time were either of you on the same level..It was bound to fail..learn from this..there were obvious holes in this relationship from early in the piece...Good luck with your future,... you should be far more aware of what you really need in a partner now so be grateful she has taught you what you dont.....

[dbc115]

I don't have anything around that reminds me of her. She layed in my bed with me and was everywhere in my house so that will always remind me. I am fine I just want to be over her, i hate thinking about her. As far as her boyfriend goes, he has done things like that eversince they were together. He thinks he is being cute and funny, but I can't wait to see him get whats coming to him. She will leave him just like she did me and I will be laughing then. As far as wanting her back, NEVER!! I don't want her back nor would I ever want to go back to all that nonsense. I'm not scared of him and i'm not stopping my life or staying off myspace for him. I have tried blocking him but he is still able to send me friend requests for some reason.

[waveseer]

This is pride talking here and it's your choice. Healing will be easier without him pestering you no matter how you accomplish that.