girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 This is my friends situation, he asked me if i knew anything about child custody law and i dont so thought i'd ask you guys. His kid lives with her mother, and their 7 other kids, most fathered by a variety of men, and her current bf, who is a violent scum. He has never to our knowledge laid a finger on this child however. The father wants the child to live with him fulltime. The mother refuses more than 2 nights a week, because of the child benefits she gets from having the child there. The child cries and begs not to go back after every weekend visit. Also the mother lets the child stay home from school, on average 3 or 4 days a week to keep her company, so she is falling further and further behind and hates school more than ever. The child is 7 and has the responsibility of looking after the younger infants, getting up in the night to give them bottles and rock them, clean the house, do nappies. Furthermore when the mother and her bf want to have peace (aka sex) they send the kids out to 'take a walk' often at midnight or later. The oldest boy is 13, the youngest child is 1. My friend is in the process of getting Parental Registration so he can legally have a say. However he is the natural father, so does he have legal guardianship? Can he just take her for permanent, without the permission of the mother? or is that still kidnapping? To be fair the mother doesn't have the brains to contest it, but there could be threats, and bad situations. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 However he is the natural father, so does he have legal guardianship? Can he just take her for permanent, without the permission of the mother? or is that still kidnapping? To be fair the mother doesn't have the brains to contest it, but there could be threats, and bad situations. In short, no, she could get him for kidnapping. Even if you think she doesn't have the brains to contest it if she wants to play dirty enough all she has to do is call the cops and he will go to jail and his time with his kid will be even shorter if he even sees them at all. The best thing he can do is just go through the courts and allow a judge to appoint him sole custody. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 In short, no, she could get him for kidnapping. Even if you think she doesn't have the brains to contest it if she wants to play dirty enough all she has to do is call the cops and he will go to jail and his time with his kid will be even shorter if he even sees them at all. The best thing he can do is just go through the courts and allow a judge to appoint him sole custody. you absolutely certain? he is the natural father. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 if the mother has been granted cousterdy, then he has to go through the courts He has to gather evidence, and get a family attorney to talk to his daughter and ask where she wants to live (I know because I had this). Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 you absolutely certain? he is the natural father. Regardless of whether he is the biological father or not if he takes the kid and refuses to give the child back to the mother it is kidnapping and he will go to jail for it if she reports it. Even if they have joint custody he cannot take the kid from the mother and keep her. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 when you say if she has custody, they never legally had it settled who was legal custodian,the mother claims benefits in her name. We don't think she would tbh, her house is crowded enough with kids. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 You don't know whether she would fight it or not and to be honest it isn't fair to the child to just up and take her from the mom.. In the eyes of the court the mom is the legal custodian unless it is otherwise stated in court documents. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 You don't know whether she would fight it or not and to be honest it isn't fair to the child to just up and take her from the mom.. In the eyes of the court the mom is the legal custodian unless it is otherwise stated in court documents. the child is being abused and neglected, and denied an education. and it wouldnt be turning up, she stays over at the weekend, he would just inform the mother that he wasn't bringing her back because the child wanted to stay with him and that he was tired of being messed around. he would say that is was breaking the law to deny the child an education which was the grounds for him doing it. Link to comment
DN Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 This is something that can only be adequately answered by a British lawyer specialising in Family Law. There are far too many variables to make any answer accurate enough for him to proceed. Tell him to see if he can find a lawyer who will give a free consultation in order to find out his options. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 the child is being abused and neglected, and denied an education. and it wouldnt be turning up, she stays over at the weekend, he would just inform the mother that he wasn't bringing her back because the child wanted to stay with him and that he was tired of being messed around. he would say that is was breaking the law to deny the child an education which was the grounds for him doing it. It is a sad situation but this needs to be handled through the courts, not handled by the father himself. He can and probably would go to jail for kidnapping if he took the little girl and kept her from her mom. The child isn't old enough to decide who she wants to stay with so that isn't a valid argument or reason. It is illegal what the mom is doing however kidnapping is WORSE is the laws eye's. If he wants to do it he needs to do it legally. If he kidnaps her she is basically going to be put in foster care since he alleges the mom abuses her. That isn't fair for the child. Link to comment
SilverManic Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I would advise getting a lawyer. If neglect is the case and she's being denied an education he will most likely win but they need to get a lawyer. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 I would advise getting a lawyer. If neglect is the case and she's being denied an education he will most likely win but they need to get a lawyer. We ARE going through the correct legal streams. the thing is, this takes time. The mother never got round to filling in the forms for Parental Registration which is the first step to get him rights. So currently he's in the process of taking her to court to get that granted. Its a long and drawn out process for him to win full custody. But why can't she live with him in the mean time. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 If her mom is so free and wouldn't care about him taking her why can't he talk to her about her going and living with him until all of this is straightened out? I know it's a long drawn out process but it is the best alternative to go through the courts, otherwise he really wouldn't have much of a leg to stand on if he just takes her. Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi girl friend There are two separate issues here - parental responsibility and applying for full custody. The precedence here is that the child spends her time with the mother and possesion really is 9/10th of the law in this case. I don't want to put a downer on things but your friend does face a long hard fight. Can I ask what legal advice you have taken so far because it is IMPERITIVE that you are well advised and well represented in court if necessary. Sadly, the laws over here are still pretty archaic. In the meantime, it is vital that your friend keeps a diary of what is going on. Mark Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 well they had an agreement last year to 'trial it' the child staying with him, but the mother damanded her back after a few weeks when she was threatened that her benefits would stop for the child. Thanks for the diary idea Mark, that would be good to keep dates and that. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 He needs to keep everything documented (With dates and times being down to the second), pictures if there is apparent abuse (bruises, marks, etc) and anything else he can possibly think of. Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 That is a great shame that she went against that agreement. If he had parental responsibilty he could have fought this straight away. Some people cannot help but use children as leverage in some way or another. So does he currently see his daughter at all? If he does have parental responsibility granted then he can apply to the court to see his daughter. I wouldn't say for full custody though. But the courts will recognise that his daughter should spend time with him and he ought to accept this and then see how things go. Once he establishes regular contact then it might well be that he can apply to have this increased. As I say, make sure you are taking good legal advice - that is so important. Hope this helps some. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 he has her every weekend, 2 nights, 3 days. they only live down the road from each other. Link to comment
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