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long relationship, living 2 lives


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So me and this girl were together for 3 years.... We broke up because i cheated on her 3 times (makeout with girls when i was wasted) And she madeout with my best friend at the time... We split for 5 months and she had sex with 6 people she admitted to me. She was with a new guy for about 3 months until she broke up with them and we ran into eachother randomly. We decided to get back together and she asked me out even tho i was worried. The first week we started dating i found out she was still having sex with her ex boyfriend while we were hanging out.... she told me shed never talk to him again and deleted his number.. 5 months of us going out, she had quit drinking and became a perfect girlfriend. Out of the blue she calls me and tells me she wants to break up because shes not over her ex, i hang up the phone only to get texted "u just got punked" and she called me like 30 times telling me it was jus a joke, she was bored at work and she would never do that and she wanted to apologize for the bad joke by taking me out to eat. So when i get off of work later that night she texts me and says read my facebook. I get onto my facebook and her exboyfriend is messaging me shes not over him and she breaks up with me!!! the next day she calls my work and says she wants to be honest that shes been having sex with her ex over 10 times a month... im crushed, she hasnt been messing arounnd with me for 5 months instead shes been leaving my house at like midnight and going to his and having sex with him... 2 years ago she had an aborition of my kid and im crushed i loved this girl, and knew so much about her, she changed so much and wants me back, i dont want to lose her but i cannot even hold her hand without wondering what she was doign to this other guy.

shes now begging me back i dont know what to do.....

some information is im 22, shes 23 i am christian she is muslim/india and im more middle class and her family is loaded, this guy shes cheating on me with ges 10,000 $ a month from his dad for allowance..

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This girl seems like she has a lot to learn. You on the other hand are suffering from her actions and need to be rid of her. If you want her, really want her and love her enough to grant forgiveness then you must let her go. Strict NC until she gets the point. You will not allow yourself to be strung along while she is playing you both for her own pleasure. She's already done this many times before and giving her another chance while she enjoys both your cake and his you must let go. Staying away will be tough but it is for the better of yourself that you must do this. Its not fair but in the end you will be stronger. Take this from an expert. I have read countless books and right now more then ever you must go into NC. The trick is not to get her back but for yourself. Go back out with friends and become the person you were before she came along. Excercise, get a hobby, read a book or something else. She will not have the luxury of two guys in her lap and she needs to realize that it can't be like that. Do not be her crutch and shoulder to cry on. Let her wallow in her own guilt until she can gain some sense.

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thanks guys every one has been telling me this and i know i have to it just sucks, really bad.. girls are kind of a pain in the ass nowa days, what happened to the old tradition of morals


Exactly! What happened to the old tradition of morals?


Hey bud the girl you're describing is definitely certifiable and NOT someone you bring home for mom to meet. She's more like one of the corner girls you point out to kids and say that's a "HO".


For the record... you admitted cheating on her 3 times. I think you have a few of your own issues too.

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Whoa... I don't even know what to say... You are both scandalous. Sorry, but it's true. She sounds like a disaster area. Why are you messing around with this person? She might be great in some ways, but she is completely nuts. She is attention seeking and vacillating. If you're Christian go focus on that, it's much more positive than this crazy mess you are focusing on right now.

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I would definantly get out of this relationship. She's sleeping around and will continue to do so. I would definantly have a NO CONTACT policy with her, so you can heal. You mentioned you are Christian. The bible says not to be 'unequally yoked' with unbelievers. You are spiritually in a different place and going in different directions.


I've been in a similar situation and it can feel like a touch of hell on earth. The best thing to do is break off this relationship and have a No Contact policy with her. It will give you space you need to heal. I can't command you to do anything, but I would make a decision ahead of time not to get back together her when she tries to re-unite with her.


These types aren't ready to acknowledge they have a 'problem' and are in heavy denial. Keep her prayer though, while you have a no contact policy, because God can still do something with her life. However, I wouldn't be in a relationship with this lady.


God bless you and I wish you the best...

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I am in the same position just the girl...while I was pregnant my guy would cheat on me while I was at work and tired and when I came home I would cook and clean and put music on in the kitchen and all he would say is he was tired, yeah now I know why...he scammed me bad and now I am fighting to get him out of my head and it is hard, but I tell you this, I still keep my respect and values high and will never settle just because of one jerk. There are great people out there we just have to have faith...

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QUOTE she changed so much and wants me back, i dont want to lose her but i cannot even hold her hand without wondering what she was doign to this other guy.

she changed so much

No she didnt not by a long shot!!... she just got better at it....The values and lack of respect for each other that were introduced to this relationship by BOTH of you were a perfect recipe for its demise...break this cycle and get emotionally healthy or continue on this path and remain co dependant on her and in a state of emotional turmoil...You both have a lot of work to do............ on yourselves!! get off this roller coaster or expect many more disappointments ,,betrayals..lies..infidelities.....the choice is yours...one can only hope you make a wise one...

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