Facebook is the devil.

[anya85]

So I happened to spot this guy I've been dating for the past two weeks on Facebook(though we've been talking for a month and a half). We met on Match. Previous to all this--we hung out both Friday and Saturday night this past weekend--had a *blast* together, and ended up all cuddled up, holding hands and making out on my sofa on Saturday until 3am. I have to say--after all that, my thoughts on him have doubled. He seems to really like me, which I'm pleased for.

 

So any way, I find him on Facebook and add him. To find that he has no less than 20 girls posting on his page "___, we have to hang out." "you're so cute, ___, hang out with me!", "I haven't seen you in ages, we need to go do (insert something here)." I few of these girls I recognized, I use to work with them! Now, I know he has a lot of friends--a lot. Makes sense a good amount of these would be girls, but it still chipped away at my very happy, thus-far image a bit. Also, for whatever reason, his status is "In a relationship", though on several of his posts on his page, he mentions he's single. Like "glad I saved money being single"--posted on Valentine's Day. I'm thinking that may be an oversight--as in he hasn't changed it in awhile.

 

It *also* turns out that he nearly dated someone I use to work with, someone I was friendly with--but haven't spoken too in over a year. His explanation was that they'd nearly had a fling--but it didn't work out because they'd been friends for too long. He mentioned being worried this girl would think he was talking to me to spite her(which is entirely not the case, I met him off link removed, there was no way he could have known I knew this girl.)

 

Any way--so I honestly do believe he likes me. He contacts me daily, makes plans with me frequently, insists on paying, always asking me how my day went. Not to mention we had so much fun over the weekend together--complete with all the cuddling, hand-holding, kissing, all that mushy stuff, etc.

 

Advice?

[yellowcal]

What do you really want us to tell you? He has female friends who want to hang out with him, he is single and is free to do so. As for his relationship status being 'in a relationship' not everyone thinks to change that the minute they get out of a relationship...

 

As for who he "nearly" dated? What's the big deal? You didn't know him then, you weren't dating him. I'm sure there may be plenty of people that he "nearly" dated but didn't.

 

I don't see the problem?

[jenny_mcs]

What do you want advice about? He seems like a normal, outgoing guy with a lot of friends.

[drewciouS281]

well did you flat out ask him why his facebook says he is in a relationship? The fact a bunch of girls are leaving him comments isnt a big deal. Now if you guys become more serious, then he should clean up the comments that say provacative things out of respect for you. I have alot of female friends that leave me comments on my myspace and my girl is ok with it. I just dont approve comments that are crossing the line. Just ask the guy whats up with the status in a non scholant way. If your not noticing any unusual behavior than you should be ok. You guys are only two weeks in. He was single before that so its not like everything should or is going to change that quickly from his single pattern before. Patience

[anya85]

I don't know, it just changes my opinion a bit to know he's so immensely popular w/the ladies, even two girls I know. My friends have advised me to steer clear, which I don't want to do. I'm going to keep talking to him(obviously), I really like the guy. It just makes me a bit more cautious.

[drewciouS281]

you can be cautious but you cant judge the guy cause he has female friends. Dont you have guy friends? same thing.

[yellowcal]

He has alot of female friends, so what? Why does that change your view of him so harshly? Do you expect him to not have a past or have any female friends? You two know the same people, it isn't THAT big of a deal. I don't see any reason for you to be cautious. He has a past, he has dated girls and probably slept with other girls you can't expect all that to disappear just because you are with him.

[jenny_mcs]

I think you should remember that you wrote this not too long ago:

 

So I've been hurt. Lots of people have. But I've found much to my dismay that the result is that I'm extremely jaded and suspicious about relationships! I overanalyze *everything* make myself completely miserable in the process! I have the ability to take perfectly normal occurances and turn them into life-altering huge things--all in my mind.

 

Because that is what I think you are doing in this situation. You have met a guy you like, who likes you back, who you have a great time with, and you are considering dumping him because he has a lot of female facebook friends?

[Qut81]

Yes, Facebook is the devil. I saw a girl on my ex's page and freaked out (more to the story but not my thread lol)

 

If I were you, I would avoid adding him on your myspace and facebook. They will create suspecions and its a little too early for that, in your case.

[annie24]

well, i guess since he is single and on match, you know that he is probably dating several women. you haven't been dating very long. i'd let him be the one to suggest adding you on facebook and all that. i'd also stop looking at it.

[yellowcal]

Yes, Facebook is the devil. I saw a girl on my ex's page and freaked out (more to the story but not my thread lol)

 

That isn't facebooks problem, that is your own insecurities. (no offense)

[Qut81]

That isn't facebooks problem, that is your own insecurities. (no offense)

 

Yes, I do have insecurities and obviously, so do others. Facebook/Myspace is visual. So yes, the site does have something to do with it. Thats why I suggested OP doesnt check his page.

[yellowcal]

Facebook and Myspace hasn't done anything wrong they are great sites to keep in touch with others, it is the people that are on there who either can't control themselves or become too insecure that insist on ruining two sites that were created with a great idea in mind.

 

We should start blaming yahoo, msn and everything else as well.. Can't forget the mall and other shopping centers since it's so easy to run into someone and become attracted and cheat on your partner after all even if it is just emotional cheating.

[cat_lady]

you can be cautious but you cant judge the guy cause he has female friends. Dont you have guy friends? same thing.

 

Well - I dated a guy who had lots of female friends. Ended up being the biggest player ever. By "friends" he meant girls that he slept with but wouldn't date and for whatever reason they stayed around leaving him cute message on facebook and myspace.

 

Of course when we were "dating" and I asked - he said, don't worry about it sweetie, I'm just a social guy with lots of friends.

[bebeblondie]

Generally as a rule this is why I don't add people I am just beginning to date on facebook. I know I may tend to over analyze things, which I think you are doing in this case. I have a group of male friends who I am very close with, never slept or made out with any of them, just the thought of that creeps me out cause I have known them for years and they are like my brothers.

 

A couple of these guys are on facebook and I sometimes write something to the effect of meeting up on the wknd on their page. The posts you are seeing on this guys page are probably from girls like me who just want to meet up with a friend they haven't seen in a while, so relax.

 

BTW Yes you should be cautious but not more so than you would be with any other guy you just started seeing.

[drewciouS281]

Facebook and Myspace hasn't done anything wrong they are great sites to keep in touch with others, it is the people that are on there who either can't control themselves or become too insecure that insist on ruining two sites that were created with a great idea in mind.

 

We should start blaming yahoo, msn and everything else as well.. Can't forget the mall and other shopping centers since it's so easy to run into someone and become attracted and cheat on your partner after all even if it is just emotional cheating.

 

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS ^^^^^^^^

 

Well - I dated a guy who had lots of female friends. Ended up being the biggest player ever. By "friends" he meant girls that he slept with but wouldn't date and for whatever reason they stayed around leaving him cute message on facebook and myspace.

 

Of course when we were "dating" and I asked - he said, don't worry about it sweetie, I'm just a social guy with lots of friends.

 

Well i guess some of us are different because every girl i have dated that has seen my myspace with all the female comments ask and i tell them that they are going to have to accept i have alot of female friends. Some of them yes i have slept with or hooked up with but we have remained friends. There is no talk of hooking up again or anything. its all respectful and casual. i do not cross those boundries.

[Whoa]

I wouldn't even recommend looking for guys you are early dating on networking sites. It just can breed a lot of drama.

 

I find that most people who post things, tend to exaggerate. At least I remember that from myspace. That was like last call at a TGI Fridays.