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I am completely Clueless HELP!


joeBOI

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Hello,

 

Heres my story:

 

I was with my ex for just over two years. And throughout those two years i was so happy and so was she. But a week after our 2 year anniversary i could tell things werent right. This was due to a stupid drunken rant i made to her. I apologised the next day because i know i was an idiot. And she seemed to have accepted the apology. But then a week later For a few days she was acting weird with me and i knew something was wrong. This sent me into panic mode, and my clingyness/desperation/crazyness lead her too finish things with me.

 

Now after that i made all the classic mistakes. Like begging and pleading with her. And she just wasnt having none of it. And after about a couple of weeks of that i realised that was the wrong way to go.

 

So i entered NC. And lasted a month and a half. I was starting to get through days alot easier as i assumed things were over for good and she would never get back with me. She text me on my bday during the NC, but i didnt feel up too texting her back.

 

So about a week ago, i was out and i get a phone call (It was from a mutual friend we both share). My friend had said that my ex would like to speak with me.

 

I gave this 'revelation' some time too see if i knew what i wanted too do. I decided to send her a text saying: Hello Stranger, How have you been, what you been up too'.

 

She then text back and we got into a full blown convo, where she was saying she missed me, and it had been so hard the past two months with out me. I answered back to that saying i missed her too, but made sure i acted a little distant.

 

I suggested that we meet up for a dog walk, and she said should would like that But i cant pluck up the courage to pin her down to a day to do it!

 

Now i know these are all good signs, but i am so nervous to do anything about it because i have been through hell the past two months and i dont want to be rejected again by the girl i am madly in love with.

 

Plus she is back into my head fully, i mean i am not depressed again but i am constantly thinking about her.

 

I just need some guidance, maybe some advice from some-one who has been in a similar position to me. I need a strategy or some tips on how to play things.

 

I have changed so much during the break and i have learnt lessons from the mistakes i made during the relationship, and i know i would be a better boyfriend than the last time.

 

I know she still loves me its just turning that love into wanting to get back with me. Getting her to tell me her feelings.

 

Alot of the time we chat its just small talk. Its killing me knowing shes there but i cant have her.

 

Please help people

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2 months isn't a long time to "change", sorry to say. I would procceed with caution on this one.

 

I hear alotta people saying this 2, 3 months is nothing, I completely agree, for the majority of people it isnt, however some people should get the benefit of the doubt, its all about what state your in, sure if they are posting about advice to get their ex back than maybe they havent changed so much, for me its been almost three months and I have made serious changes for the better, I would define myself as "changed", this is a measure of my personal healing and not how to get back with an ex, because regardless I understand time goes even slower for them, fortunatley I am past the point of caring about reconcilation though.

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Exactly you have to turn this around, buddy. Step up to the plate and be a man.

 

Firstly, you need to get out of the need cycle as she is undoubtedly picking up on this and as a result is turning her the other way. She probably pities you at best.

 

You don't want that to happen anymore. So get your strength back by getting used to being without her...

 

Do your own thing and enjoy being you again instead of this needy boy image you're projecting.

 

Good luck!

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I didnt mean i have fully changed into a new person. I meant like i have sorted out my bad habits and the negative aspects i have, we all have them. But they are all changes and tweaks that she would notice because she knows me from top to bottom as a person.

 

I really appreciate your advice and views, but i know what i want in life and that is getting back with her.

 

I just need some help, some tips from people who have been here and been successful with situations like this. I dont want to make any mistakes that could in the end make me lose her for good.

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I didnt mean i have fully changed into a new person. I meant like i have sorted out my bad habits and the negative aspects i have, we all have them. But they are all changes and tweaks that she would notice because she knows me from top to bottom as a person.

 

I really appreciate your advice and views, but i know what i want in life and that is getting back with her.

 

I just need some help, some tips from people who have been here and been successful with situations like this. I dont want to make any mistakes that could in the end make me lose her for good.

 

You can't win anyone back until you win yourself back.

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I really agree with your comments and really appreciate them. I have seen emotions come out of me i never knew i had. It has just been one hell of a ride! I really admire the people who have been through this awful pain and come out stronger. And Dave i am in a constant battle at the moment to try and win myself back.

 

Thank you

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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