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What does it mean if a man tells you that you are very attractive and sweet, but that you do not deserve to have an such as himself in your life? I am confused as to his interest. Is this the "I'm just not that into you" or does he really feel I deserve better? I do not know whether to persue this or not.

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What does it mean if a man tells you that you are very attractive and sweet, but that you do not deserve to have an "a$$hole" such as himself in your life? I am confused as to his interest. Is this the "I'm just not that into you" or does he really feel I deserve better? I do not know whether to persue this or not.

 

Take him at his word that he is indeed an ahole and be grateful he spared you the grief of finding out the hard way.

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Either he's horribly insecure and needs you to bolster his self-esteem by showering him with compliments (I hate it when men especially fish for something nice to be said about them, its so needy), or he's not interested in you but is trying the old 'it's not you, it's me' let down.

 

Either way, I'd forget about him. Not worth the trouble.

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I had an ex boyfriend tell me something quite similar. I decided to ignore it [ writing it off as a self esteem issue ] ...but man, was he ever right!

I would just forget about him and move on.

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It could mean that he doesn't want to be with you.

 

Or it could be a ploy he uses to get woman to chase after him and want to nurture him.

 

Or he could just be being honest and letting you know that hes a bad person to date.

 

Either way...Don't date him.

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What does it mean if a man tells you that you are very attractive and sweet, but that you do not deserve to have an such as himself in your life? I am confused as to his interest. Is this the "I'm just not that into you" or does he really feel I deserve better? I do not know whether to persue this or not.

 

You ever wondered that maybe you really aren't deserving of him? did you piss him off?

 

I'm just saying this because, every woman thinks that they can just get whatever man they want, when THEY'RE WRONG!!! men have standards too.

 

I agree with all the above posters, just let him go.

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My ex used to say things like to me all the time. He turned out to have major self esteem issues, was controlling, depressed, passive aggressive, etc. He put me on a pedastal and it was always why someone like me would want him. Well, guess what? By the time a couple years went by, I was asking myself the same question.

 

Why not just ask him what he meant by that? If he is "amazed" that you would be with him, as a follow up response, ask him why again.... keep going until you aren't guessing anymore as to what his intentions are. Don't turn it into an interrogation, but rather a conversation.

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Thank you for the replies. Maybe I should have elaborated more on the situation. We've been dating for six weeks. The "chemistry" is amazing. I've been to his house, he has been to mine. He says I can come over whenever I want to. He seems as genuinely interested in me, as I am in him. He appears to be pretty self confidant, as well. I just seems that comment might be a setup for hurt later on. That is why I am not sure how to take it.

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Thank you for the replies. Maybe I should have elaborated more on the situation. We've been dating for six weeks. The "chemistry" is amazing. I've been to his house, he has been to mine. He says I can come over whenever I want to. He seems as genuinely interested in me, as I am in him. He appears to be pretty self confidant, as well. I just seems that comment might be a setup for hurt later on. That is why I am not sure how to take it.

 

all of the other information doesn't sway my response. someone who is into you wouldn't tell you things to put you off. maybe on accident, but not blunt like this. he straight up told you.

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I agree with ghost but at the same time perhaps this guy does have self esteem issues or it is possible that he thinks he has something too good to be true and doesnt feel he deserves it cause he was a playa in the past or something. There are afew possible situations but regardless of any of them, you should confront him and ask him "hey, what tha hey is up with that comment you told me?" "You wanna do this or what?"! lay down the law woman!!

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yeah ghost but some women want to save a person with issues. My girl was with one of her ex's for 5 years not cause she loved him but because her and her family felt sorry for the guy. Dumb i know but some people play savior. I wouldnt do that. If i aint happy than you get the curb!

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yeah ghost but some women want to save a person with issues. My girl was with one of her ex's for 5 years not cause she loved him but because her and her family felt sorry for the guy. Dumb i know but some people play savior. I wouldnt do that. If i aint happy than you get the curb!

 

exactly why to skip this guy. you should NEVER date someone to try and change them or save them.

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Thank you for the replies. Maybe I should have elaborated more on the situation. We've been dating for six weeks. The "chemistry" is amazing. I've been to his house, he has been to mine. He says I can come over whenever I want to. He seems as genuinely interested in me, as I am in him. He appears to be pretty self confidant, as well. I just seems that comment might be a setup for hurt later on. That is why I am not sure how to take it.

 

I've heard this twice from women in the past in similar circumstances. Both times, they were sleeping with other guys in addition to me and felt guilty about it, even though we weren't exclusive. Don't know if this is the case with your guy, but worth mentioning.

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it really can be either

 

the whole he's not into you can be definitely true

 

or

 

he's just telling you the truth.. he really does see a great person that he doesn't want to get involved with because a) he's not ready to maybe settle down and be with a great woman like u and maybe rather date around and just have fun or b) he does want to get with u but is probably convinced he is the way he is and can see right off the bat that he's incompatible with you

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