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Is she cheating again?

Baily

By Baily
in Infidelity

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Baily Apprentice

Baily

Posted
Posted

Yes again...she cheated once with another woman...

 

we've worked our rear off to hang on...now more signs...

 

I want to know if I'm reading too much into this....your opinions will be taken...so be serious...

 

It's been 4 months since finding out and we've been working on trying to put things back together. We have one child age 3.

 

The signs...

 

First off I took my son to Disneyland (which is only 2 hours away) and when we were leaving she text me once asking me within the text 'have I left, where am I at and what time will I be back.' again driving home she again asked where am I at and what time will I be home? she again asked once more for a third time.

 

she stated when confronted about asking me so many times she just wanted to know when I was going to be home.

 

sign 2-

she has been texting her friend over 100 times a day

 

needed background on her friend - her friend new about my wifes prior cheating and was assisting her during the time. I even talked to her once during it and she said 'I'm going to have to fight for her.' She seemed genuine.

 

now I'm finding that she's texting her all day every day. Even 8 times during our date night when she went to the restroom.

 

I have not asked her about texting during our date - which I will - but I asked about the 100 times a day and she said they are just chatting.

 

 

 

are these signs of 'woman talk', 'cheating' or who the hell knows?

 

going for opinions before I start a fight - beginning to feel like ---------->

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Binoo Collaborator

Binoo

Posted
Posted

You'd think she would understand why you were paranoid and she'd voluntarily show you the text messages to put your mind at ease. I would if I were her.

Would you ask to see them? I know it's kind of snoopy but because of your situation, you'd think that she would understand your suspicions.

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lostandhurt Grand Master

lostandhurt

Posted
Posted

I think maybe you should play dumb and keep your eyes wide open. This may be nothing but given the past I would be just as concerned as you.

Having this "friend" that helps her cheat is very bad. It leads me to believe that they both have convinced themselves that it is okay and support each others betrayals.

Your gut is probably telling you something isn't right and you should trust it. This is no way to live but you have made a choice to work on your relationship and shouldn't give up yet.

Let it go for now and watch and listen. When she thinks you are fooled (if that is what she is doing) it will be easy to find the proof you need.

 

If you do find out, at least you can walk away with no regrets and that you tried your best.

 

Good luck

Lost

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Baily Apprentice

Baily

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You'd think she would understand why you were paranoid and she'd voluntarily show you the text messages to put your mind at ease. I would if I were her.

Would you ask to see them? I know it's kind of snoopy but because of your situation, you'd think that she would understand your suspicions.

 

would it be fair to ask her 'why are you texting during our date' or am I just going into a worthless fight?

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simply complicated Collaborator

simply complicated

Posted
Posted
she states that there's nothing to it...just simple chatting...

 

If it were just simple chatting, there would be no need to sneak to the restroom to do it.

 

My ex did the same thing, even when we went away for the weekend, we would be in our hotel, she would get a call and dash to the washroom, and "simply chat" for about ten minutes, and come back, she did this a few times, even at my house, this really pissed me off, I asked her about it, and she gave me the same song and dance about it being harmless.

 

It turns out she was cheating, which at that point was no surprise, if she is loyal to you, and claims so, then there shouldn't be anything to hide, somethings not right.

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TechResQ Contributor

TechResQ

Posted
Posted
would it be fair to ask her 'why are you texting during our date' or am I just going into a worthless fight?

 

You are damn right it would be fair! Given your past experience.

 

I hate to say this, but I do believe the saying, "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater". Based on my own personal experience and what others on eNA have shared.

 

Sorry you are going through this, I know how bad it sucks.

 

Good luck.

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TechResQ Contributor

TechResQ

Posted
Posted
We are both at work now...should I send her a text about it or wait till we get home?

 

Home, face to face so you can actually see her reaction and watch her facial expressions and body language. If you text or email her, she will have a chance to think about her response.

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Binoo Collaborator

Binoo

Posted
Posted
would it be fair to ask her 'why are you texting during our date' or am I just going into a worthless fight?

 

That's absolutely fair. If I were on a date with someone and they started texting, I would have walked out before they finished sending it.

That's just really lame.

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DN Grand Master

DN

Posted
Posted

I would dump someone who kept texting during a date whether she was cheating or not. It's shows a clear lack of respect and interest.

 

And yes - it does seem as if she may well be cheating given the circumstances. I would not stay with someone I couldn't trust either.

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Baily Apprentice

Baily

Posted
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I would dump someone who kept texting during a date whether she was cheating or not. It's shows a clear lack of respect and interest.

 

And yes - it does seem as if she may well be cheating given the circumstances. I would not stay with someone I couldn't trust either.

 

it's not that easy - just dump her

 

and she was texting when she went to the restroom. There were a total of 8 texts 4 received and 4 sent. Starting with my wife sending her a text...

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simply complicated Collaborator

simply complicated

Posted
Posted
it's not that easy - just dump her

 

and she was texting when she went to the restroom. There were a total of 8 texts 4 received and 4 sent.

 

 

So the real issue is leaving her then, because in the back of your mind, i'm sure you know the answer to the original question.

 

I'm sure it won't be easy to separate, with the child and maybe some other issues, but it's either you put up with these constant trust issues, which will drive you crazy, or you do whats best for you and find a way out.

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ShootMePlz Newbie

ShootMePlz

Posted
Posted

Sounds like she is continuing to cake eat literally and figuratively!!! Look your wife is obviously at least bi-sexual and seems unwilling to give the sex with another woman up. She just found another GF to do it with. Heck this GF even told you basically!!!!!!!!!!!](*,)

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Baily Apprentice

Baily

Posted
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Posted
Sounds like she is continuing to cake eat literally and figuratively!!! Look your wife is obviously at least bi-sexual and seems unwilling to give the sex with another woman up. She just found another GF to do it with. Heck this GF even told you basically!!!!!!!!!!!](*,)

 

I wonder....that's why I'm freaking back on enot posting. I hoped my mental issues would be gone, but they are not. I'm not ready to throw in the towel, but the towel is in my hand and my hand is twitching...

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