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Trying to heal...ups & downs, today a down..

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Wednesday it will be 4 weeks...we've had contact so it hasn't been 4 weeks of NC as well. The past 4 weeks I have been trying to move on and shift my thinking and it's funny, he keeps contacting me here and there, I think to make sure I'm still here. We had some closure last week and I truly do know now that it was not me that caused him to break up with me. I'm just trying to accept that he is incapable of giving me what I want in a relationship. And I am grieving that loss.


Like I said I keep trying to shift my thinking and trying very hard to stay busy and get back to all of the things I let go when I was pretty much obsessed with him. I started a blog, started selling my greeting cards online, making lists of things to do- have friends over, make more cards, spring cleaning, reading, etc....it helps a lot, especially to get excited over something NEW like the blog...


I even take a little more care in my appearance, more spring in my step sometimes - I think my ego started doing that since I wads "dumped" A male friend took me for a glass of wine last weekend, and it was nice, being treated like that - special and attractive...but I'm certainly not ready for dating, and he was gracious and understanding, just as a friend...


I'm being gentle with myself, and aware of all the grief stages. I think sometimes I might be forcing certain stages before they are ready to happen, but I think it goes all over the map. I go from angry to acceptance, pain to hope, sadness comes over me at totally unexpected times and I start crying out of nowhere! But I know it's all part of losing someone you thought you would maybe spend the rest of your life with.


Today is one of the downers and it's hard to be focused at work. Today is one of the days I feel like never trying love again, not hoping for it.

I know it will be ok eventually, but today is just one of those days...

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Stick with it! Like my dad used to say, hang in there like a hair in a biscuit!


It actually sounds like you are doing everything right. You sound remarkably self-aware, and I know that things are going to turn out well for you. I know it sucks, and there is no way to take that away, but you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances. Keep going! Keep up the good work for YOU!

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Hey Wanderer


That sucky rollercoaster ride, eh? Sorry you are having a bit of down time but Doc is right - it sounds like you are doing EVERYTHING right to get through this in the best possible way - good for you darling.


Just know that the better times are just around the corner, so suck up these cr@ppy moments and then start walking forward again into the sunshine.


Keep smiling, eh?



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