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importance of partners and friends getting along


irish-gal
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Just wondering how important it is for you guys that your SO's and your friends get along?

 

Do u all socialise together, do they like eachother etc...

 

It's just looking back it was very difficult to get my ex to socialise with my friends and when he did he never really made the effort with them.I now realise some of them and him probably would have clashed and as a result I ended up a bit isolated and them not knowing eachother well after 5 years.

 

Example, my best friend who had never met him in the five years was in town and he wouldn't come out for a while as he was "tired and it was peeing rain" eventhough he knew it meant a lot to me

 

Just to keep in mind i have been out with his friends no exaggeration a million times but my friends mainly love a few hours away so can be kinda awkward but not impossible

 

Is this common or did i let him away with murder?

 

Any thoughts...

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I think it's both people's fault.

His fault b.c he refused to socialize with them and make an effort.

And yours too b.c I gather you didn't go visit them on your own and try to stay friends, without him.

 

Maybe you can try rekindeling the friendship and hanging out with them a bit more even though it'll be akward at first.

 

To me it's important my friends like my SO. It's important to me that I can bring him places they are and they get along. It's important I get along with his friends.. how else would I be able to have fun when we go out with them?

 

Just b/c he doesn't get along with them doesn't mean you can't be friends with them.

It will be a problem if they don't like him though... it'll feel like they're "against" you and/or your relationship.

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I think it's both people's fault.

His fault b.c he refused to socialize with them and make an effort.

And yours too b.c I gather you didn't go visit them on your own and try to stay friends, without him.

 

Maybe you can try rekindeling the friendship and hanging out with them a bit more even though it'll be akward at first.

 

To me it's important my friends like my SO. It's important to me that I can bring him places they are and they get along. It's important I get along with his friends.. how else would I be able to have fun when we go out with them?

 

Just b/c he doesn't get along with them doesn't mean you can't be friends with them.

It will be a problem if they don't like him though... it'll feel like they're "against" you and/or your relationship.

 

I am still friends with them, it just felt weird them not knowing eachother, and he knew it meant a lot to me that they know eachother.anyway doesn't matter now

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I want my friends to make an effort to get to know my husband. If they don't, I don't think they're very good friends. I also want my husband to make an effort, which he does. After that, I don't expect them to love eachother or even get along, I just want to see an effort or interest shown.

 

If they don't hit it off, it's not the end of the world.

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Just wondering how important it is for you guys that your SO's and your friends get along?

 

 

I used to think it wasn't important at all. However, last year I dated a guy for 8 months who was (and this is an understatement) a jerk. My best friend only met him a couple times, but she hated him so much that she refused to hang out with us together. (So no, we never all really socialized as a group). And not only did she not hang out with us together, but she made a lot less effort to hang out with me one-on-one because she knew we'd end up talking about him, and she wanted nothing to do with it. So the fact that they didn't get along also had a direct effect on my best friendship of 15 years.

 

So, I can honestly say now it's incredibly important. My boyfriend now is the first guy I've ever dated that my friends are ALL enthusiastic about being around. I can't help but think it's a good sign.

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I remember dating a guy and inviting him to a bonfire at the beach last summer. My friends were unusually pretty quiet for some reason, but not because of him, so I can understand why he was feeling pretty awkward. After skimboarding, playing in the water, playing catch and sitting around for awhile, he wanted to leave early since he was getting bored.

 

Needless to say, he wasn't in my life for very long. My closest male friend and I were talking about him recently and said he was a jerk, lol.

 

I invited my current boyfriend to hang out with my friends a few weeks ago. He got along with them very well and didn't mind their quiet nature. Unlike before, I didn't feel like I was being judged this time around.

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