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Is this creepy? Or is it good and assertive?


angryanimator

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There's a girl at work I like. I've posted about her before. She works days; I work nights, and different days/nights too so I'm lucky if I see her once a week. We exchange emails when we are in though.

 

I asked her last week if she wanted to go to a beer festival (it's a big deal in these parts but at the time meant it as a group of work people - now I'm thinking just us two would be good.

 

Anyway, it's my last night in tonight and her last day in before the festival.

In my last email to her, I asked her again if she was still planning on going. I will get her reply today; however when I get to work she will have (more than likely) finished and gone home so I won't be able to hit her up with a phone number (offer or request) to make plans.

 

Should she not give me a number or give me concrete plans in the email, would it be creepy to get her number off of a mutual friend? Or would it be the exact right thing to do in this circumstance? I'm not sure you see, as I'm new to this whole "having confidence and going after what you want" thing.

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If she doesn't make concrete plans (she may forget to include her number, so that could be forgiven) I would leave it, to be honest. Personally I wouldn't give another person's number out without their consent, so I wouldn't advise asking friends. Fingers crossed she provides all the details

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If she doesn't make concrete plans (she may forget to include her number, so that could be forgiven) I would leave it, to be honest. Personally I wouldn't give another person's number out without their consent, so I wouldn't advise asking friends. Fingers crossed she provides all the details

 

Me neither. its always best to get details from someone in person, that way your intentions are just made a little bit clearer. (we want to avoid the stalker factor...

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I'd agree with Anya, if she doesn't suggest anything concrete or offer her number then I'd leave it and just go and see if she's around.

 

After all, she must know that you won't get a chance to speak to her after she leaves that evening, so it's up to her to give you a way to reach her.

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when you asked her last week, what did she say?

 

I asked if she was going, she said she might as she has Tuesday and Wednesday off, I said she should go and that I had Wednesday to Friday off and that everybody I know seems to be going, she said Wednesday sounded good and asked who else could go then too, I said I didn't know specifically and that these things always seem to come together at the last minute.

 

About ten minutes after that I wished I had asked if she just wanted to go with me.

 

And now thinking about it, I didn't even ask her to go. I said she should go and she automatically picked the day both of us are free. Hmm...

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I asked if she was going, she said she might as she has Tuesday and Wednesday off, I said she should go and that I had Wednesday to Friday off and that everybody I know seems to be going, she said Wednesday sounded good and asked who else could go then too, I said I didn't know specifically and that these things always seem to come together at the last minute.

 

About ten minutes after that I wished I had asked if she just wanted to go with me.

 

And now thinking about it, I didn't even ask her to go. I said she should go and she automatically picked the day both of us are free. Hmm...

 

Oh! in that case, def email her the details. she seems to be interested. i don't think it's creepy to ask for phone numbers off friends... but i'm the minority here. maybe you should play it safe. there should be more opportunities to ask her out! i'm not advocating game playing but taking your time is sometimes exciting for the other person.

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Well I don't have to think about this now!

 

I had an email from her saying that tomorrow she's going back to her home country for a week where she will have her, "own personal beer festival" and that her "thoughts will be with [me]" as she tries to walk straight around the city.

 

So that's nice huh?

 

In the meantime, seeing as it'll be near enough two weeks before I hear from her again, I reckon I'll send an email saying that seeing as we didn't get to go to the beer festival together we should hang out sometime - then gauge things better during that and make my intentions veeery clear. I don't want to just ask her out through email, that's crap.

 

Good idea?

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