leixling Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 It seems to be that people on these forums, but other forums too and in real life are never single for long, even if it's just casual dating. Isn't there anyone out there who never meets anyone? For me I'm lucky if I meet someone (where there is a mutual attraction) once every 2 years..and even then it usually fizzles out after a couple of days. Where do you meet new ppl to be interested in? I think I'm doing something wrong..I've just turned 20 so am relatively young; surely I should be getting more dates? Link to comment
lionquack Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 you got to put your self out there to meet new people. Personally, I started to doing salsa classes a year and a half ago and have not looked back. Have made some great friends for life and met loads of hot girls which would be otherwise unapproachable. Link to comment
purpleJ Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 i met my ex at school.. but everyone else ive met that i went on more than one date with was through mutual friends.. everyone around me also met their bf/partner through mutual friends/work/uni.. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I suppose some of it's luck. Most of my exes I met through school and college, but now I'm working I don't really go out much and I shouldn't meet that many people. But I met my LDR online playing World of Warcraft and just the other day one of the girls at work had her brother pick her up and we were getting on really well while he waited for her. If I wasn't seeing someone I'd be hinting heavily at her that I'm interested in her brother! So sometimes you just meet people because you happen to be in the right place at the right time. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Isn't there anyone out there who never meets anyone? heh feel free to give me a PM (there are others but I won't mention them here just incase) Link to comment
shy2cool Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Are you at college/uni?? If so, go to EVERY social function/gathering that you can. That is something that I really regret not doing - I was just too shy back then. You have to put yourself out there. I am now a working professional and find it damn hard to meet new people, even just for friendships. This is also despite the fact that I am putting myself out there. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 It seems to be that people on these forums, but other forums too and in real life are never single for long, even if it's just casual dating. Isn't there anyone out there who never meets anyone? For me I'm lucky if I meet someone (where there is a mutual attraction) once every 2 years..and even then it usually fizzles out after a couple of days. Where do you meet new ppl to be interested in? I think I'm doing something wrong..I've just turned 20 so am relatively young; surely I should be getting more dates? I think it is a matter of who people settle for and whether or not they will date anyone to just go out. I know plenty of people who bounce quickly into a new relationship and act like this new person is now the love of their life. These people tend to have shallow emotions in the sense that their love was never deep enough...what is driving them is not the real interest in the new person..but the desire to not be alone..the desire to have the thrill of having a relationship, not the actual thrill of having that particular person. Link to comment
leixling Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 yes I'm at uni, thanks for the advice, I have 1 year left of uni but will try to go out once a week over the summer. Unfortunately all my friends are in serious relationships now and aren't interested in going out. Should I just go out by myself? I go out in Liverpool and it's a very safe city, so I don't need to worry about that Link to comment
COtuner Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I think it is a matter of who people settle for and whether or not they will date anyone to just go out. I know plenty of people who bounce quickly into a new relationship and act like this new person is now the love of their life. These people tend to have shallow emotions in the sense that their love was never deep enough...what is driving them is not the real interest in the new person..but the desire to not be alone..the desire to have the thrill of having a relationship, not the actual thrill of having that particular person. I'm lucky in that my natural reticence against casual sex provides a good guideline for potential relationships. If I'm flirting heavily and enjoying attention in return, I often stop and think, "Could I sleep with this guy?" 9 times out of 10 I shut down cold at the thought, realizing I am just not that attracted to him and it's the thrill of the moment that's driving my behavior. Helps me to back off too before I start sending way too many positive signals that lead the guy on when I have no intention of ever dating him. As to the OP, I see that sometimes too. I think the younger you are, the more people you meet, and the more socializing you do in the evenings and on weekends. Leads to more opportunities to meet people, and also more peer pressure to have a date. The older folks like myself don't tend to jump back into dating as quickly, or at least not the ones I know. They also seem to be pickier. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Are you at college/uni?? If so, go to EVERY social function/gathering that you can. That is something that I really regret not doing - I was just too shy back then. You have to put yourself out there. I am now a working professional and find it damn hard to meet new people, even just for friendships. This is also despite the fact that I am putting myself out there. yes I'm at uni, thanks for the advice, I have 1 year left of uni Yes I can not emphasise this part enough. I definitely regret not doing to ANY of the social gatherings or clubs at Uni. Part of it was shyness, the other part was because I was very content with finishing my classes for the day then well, doing whatever I want, which was generally going home (don't go drinking, partying, no appeal in "sitting around talking"). How I wish I had my epiphany (aka, awakening, realising thought) whilst I still had 1 or 2 years at Uni left. In a 9~5 life it gets a lot harder. You don't have classes to naturally meet people; something in common; you don't have to worry about office politics if you fancy a girl in a subject/class. haha shy2cool, we're getting more and more similar by the post Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I think it is a matter of who people settle for and whether or not they will date anyone to just go out. I know plenty of people who bounce quickly into a new relationship and act like this new person is now the love of their life. These people tend to have shallow emotions in the sense that their love was never deep enough...what is driving them is not the real interest in the new person..but the desire to not be alone..the desire to have the thrill of having a relationship, not the actual thrill of having that particular person. I agree with this. Most people I know who are in relationships have crappy relationships. I'd even go as far as to say that out of 20 couples I know, only 1 of them has anything worth while. It also takes me awhile to find someone I'm really interested in, which makes it so hard when the feeling's not mutual! Link to comment
leixling Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 I agree with this. Most people I know who are in relationships have crappy relationships. I'd even go as far as to say that out of 20 couples I know, only 1 of them has anything worth while. It also takes me awhile to find someone I'm really interested in, which makes it so hard when the feeling's not mutual! this is the exact same problem I have!! I just can't force myself to be mentally AND physically attracted to someone if it's not there in the first place and I've tried so many times, I guess this is why I've taken my split from my first ex hard, he's the only guy that's been interested in me where the feeling was mutual, ever! Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 this is the exact same problem I have!! I just can't force myself to be mentally AND physically attracted to someone if it's not there in the first place and I've tried so many times, I guess this is why I've taken my split from my first ex hard, he's the only guy that's been interested in me where the feeling was mutual, ever! Yea, I see cute/eligible guys everywhere but none of them have that thing that makes me go "I want HIM!". It's difficult... but the way I see it, we have the next 50 years or so to find the one. No worries. Link to comment
leixling Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Yea, I see cute/eligible guys everywhere but none of them have that thing that makes me go "I want HIM!". It's difficult... but the way I see it, we have the next 50 years or so to find the one. No worries. haha aww..i have the opposite problem I meet guys with great personalities but I'm never physically attracted.. I've tried to force it so many times but unfortunately it just doesn't work. Oh well..you're right 50 years is a longg time! My mum told me once one starts approaching menopause physical attraction won't matter, so it'll be a lot easier to find a mate with one barrier gone. I'm looking forward to that time. Link to comment
winter whiteout Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Yea, I see cute/eligible guys everywhere but none of them have that thing that makes me go "I want HIM!". It's difficult... but the way I see it, we have the next 50 years or so to find the one. No worries. That's the problem with being older-In 50 years or earlier I will be dead! Link to comment
lachughes Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Yes I can not emphasise this part enough. I definitely regret not doing to ANY of the social gatherings or clubs at Uni. Part of it was shyness, the other part was because I was very content with finishing my classes for the day then well, doing whatever I want, which was generally going home (don't go drinking, partying, no appeal in "sitting around talking"). How I wish I had my epiphany (aka, awakening, realising thought) whilst I still had 1 or 2 years at Uni left. In a 9~5 life it gets a lot harder. You don't have classes to naturally meet people; something in common; you don't have to worry about office politics if you fancy a girl in a subject/class. That describes me exactly except I'm working 8am - 6pm. Don't know how I'll be able to meet people now. Doomed to be stuck in bachelor mode... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.