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30 and 55 - 25 year gap


prettydeadroses
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i'm 30 years old and i am in love with a 55 year old man. i've known him about a year. we were friends then it got to be more. he never said he loves me but i know he cares about me and i can feel it when we are around each other. he holds my hands in the car, even when we went places. he cuddles me all the time and we kiss all the time and hold each other watching movies and just whenever we are with each other. i feel so happy and content when i'm with him. and i've never felt like that before. not completely. and we have never argued. but he says he's too old for me and stuff like that when i bring up us. he says hes thinking of the future and how it will be years from now. but how can he act like he cares for me so much and not want to be with me. one day he asked me who i went out to eat with and i said my other boyfriend just playing around and he was like oh someone done sneaked up on me! if he doesn't love me why does he hold my hand and hold me and cook for me and just all those things...? ? oh and he carries my pictures around in his wallet that he asked me for. why would he do that if not interested?? im so confused

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You know what, if you've found someone that you love and he loves you then age shouldn't really matter. At least in this case, since your both over 18. 25 years is still a big age gap and maybe he thinks its best for you to be seen with a younger guy but w/e do what you feel is right. My parents have a 10 year age gap and they are happy with each other. My dad was in his 30's when he met my mom and my mom was like 21 at the time. She got married and had me by the time she was 23 years old.

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Umm,

 

Yea age DOES matter. It might not right now but LATER IT will. He is right. You will see later on that you two are not compatible because he is much older than u. Hunny, I know you ENJOY every part of him and he is a great person and that is because he has been around and seen things and is VERY VERY mature. You need to leave him as a friend only and date someone else- Save ur life, save ur future. I know it sounds horrible what I am saying but I am a 23 yr old girl that felt the same about a man who was 42 and the more I knew him the more I realized that he was tooo old for me and what was I doing with a man my dad's age. In 5 yrs he will start bending and getting an OLD man. You will be a young, bright woman and he will start forgetting things. You need to focus on whats NORMAL and not ruin your entire future over ONE GUY... there are plenty of fish in the sea and some are even better than him and YOUR age. He has been through everything and part of growing together and being with each other is the every day things you both experience and have- so that is how you two can relate to each other but if yout think about it... he already has been through all those things you are going through right now.

 

Best of luck. He is RIGHT bc he KNOWS!

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do you want children? does he? i agree with DN, he might love you, but because of the age gap, he may not be able to give you the life you want. and as he gets older, you may have to be his nurse instead of his wife.

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  • 3 weeks later...

i'm in a similar shoes as yours- only he's physically fitter than me(ha he's a marathon runner) although he's in 50s so i guess it's up to individuals and each has its own problems.

i guess older men are lot more caring but it doesn't necessarily translate into 'i love you'- sounds like he does care about you and cherish you but he's gone through a lot so i suggest you to take things slowly.

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  • 2 weeks later...

omg you people are ridiculous!! they both are over 18 and she loves him apparently...just because you have that WHOLE ocean of fish...if you like the fish that you got im sure your not going to throw it back in the sea because its a 1 in a million chance youd get that fish back. Try talking to the guy himself...everything you said in the post..,say to him..ask him for a chance..I took my chance and im happily married...KEEP THIS IN MIND...listen to what your HEART says not what your BRAIN thinks.

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